Uncle Albert: There is a way. And frankly, I don’t like to think of it, because you have to think of something sad.
Mary Poppins: Then do get on with it, please.
Uncle Albert: Let me see… I have the very thing: Yesterday, when the lady next door answered the door, there was a man there, and the man said to the lady, “I’m terribly sorry, I just ran over your cat.”
[Jane and Michael descend from being up in the air]
Jane: Oh, that is sad.
Michael: The poor cat.
Uncle Albert: And the man said, “I’d like to replace your cat.” And the lady said, “That’s all right with me, but how are you with catching mice?”
Today, I have not felt like laughing. To be honest….I haven’t really even felt like smiling. I have felt like I could possibly be the biggest uber-bitch created today. I don’t know if it is related to planetary alignment or if I am just feeling a bit whacked out, but this is the time that I just have to try to make myself laugh.
On days like today, it takes something completely stupid to make me laugh. That is why I posted the joke above. It is completely absurd, but it made me giggle. It is a day like today that I need The Three Stooges or The Golden Girls……or yes….Designing Women!
I am adept at making other people laugh. It was a gift bestowed on me at birth. I often visualize my birth being similar to Aurora’s birth in Sleeping Beauty. Upon my arrival, the three good fairies showed up. The first said, “I shall bestow upon him the gift of homosexuality. Therefore he shall always live his life with impeccable style and flavor.” The second cleared her throat and said, “I shall bestow upon him devilish good looks and fabulous pheromones. Men will never be able to resist him.” The evil Maleficent flew in with a blaze of fire and her voice dripped with hatred. “Now it’s time for my gift. I bestow upon him the body of Paula Deen. Wherever he goes, his backside will shake like a pound of butter and his stomach will be larger than a KFC family bucket.” Then the third waved her magic wand above me and said, “I shall bestow upon him a really wicked sense of humor. He shall need it to conquer all of lifes trials.”
I have found that anything is bearable with a snicker or two and just a pound or two of butter. Always remember, the pain can always be eased up when you grease up with a pat of butter….hmmm that might not be exactly what I meant, but you probably just snorted. Didn’t you?
Well, tonight’s post was primarily for me….I needed a chuckle or two. Hope you enjoyed it as well. And as always.. here’s sending you good witches from my kitchen to yours!