A Solitary Life…

I think it funny how one person evolves over the course of years.  I remember a time in my life I thrived on audiences, crowds of people. I look at myself now, and I think it is amazing that this person who always sought the approval of others has become a sort of hermit.  I would rather stay curled up in my den than venture out with the other bears.

I wander back in my mind to what it would have been like to be a witch back in the early days of the craft.  I would have been the man who had a one room cottage outside of town with all of the different sorts of animals around me.  The cauldron would have been on top of the flames in the fireplace and jars and jars of herbs and tonics and all manner of things would have lined the shelves. 

I do so enjoy my time alone.  I love losing myself in the elements.  The wind, the earth, water and fire are my longtime companions. I call to the wolf and it answers back.  I carry on long conversations with the raven.  The dragon is my teacher.

But then, I come back to where I actually am.  I am sitting in a courtyard by myself with a cauldron of flames licking at the air….outside of a condo with a chihuahua by my side.  I have learned in my years of practicing by myself, that if my mind carries me back to the time of the ancients….then that is where  I am for that time. 

I enjoy the freedom that comes with being a solitary.  I understand that certain groups practice certain ways….I am completely at ease with that.  I choose the way I practice.  I don’t do things willie nillie….I have always believed in order.  I have my rituals.  I call in the directions, the elements.  They may not be exactly like yours, but that doesn’t make them null and void.

I am sitting here at my desk with the window down beside me.  I hear the rain softly and gently rustling through the leaves of the plants outside.  I feel the breath of the goddess coming in through the screen.  My little tiny version of that wolf (my chihuahua) is at my feet.  He is as attuned to my spirit and my heart as anyone or anything.  Alone… I am having a moment of reverence for the goddess and the elements.

My magick is strong.  She builds power and wisdom in me every day.  With every stroke against the powerful maple tree outside my courtyard, I feel more wisdom imparted.  Each time I put my hands in the dirt and on the plants, I feel the wonderful magick of Fae alive and moving and excited.  It makes me giddy to feel all that energy moving around me and through me.

What kind of witch am I?  Do I need a label? If you pin me down, I would have to say that I am a wise man/hedge witch/kitchen witch/eclectic.  That is far too much of a mouthful to use, so I will say that I am…..a witch.

A friend of mine said it best today.  I love her dearly and her wisdom smacks me upside the head when I need it and pierces my heart when I need that too.  She said:

I am a witch. Before wife, mother, friend. I heal, tend the dead, talk to animals. I listen to the Goddess before anyone. There are some lessons we cannot help others learn. No matter how much we want to shoulder the burden, we can’t. If we were to do it, it wears us out, drains us. We sacrifice ourselves, never to hear the messages we need to hear. If we don’t maintain the vessel, then there is nothing left to fill, and the work we do will not get done. And the hand we lend to the most needed, can’t reach. Harm None also means loving ourselves enough not to let harm come our way. I am a witch. First and foremost. Bb

Yes.  I am a witch. First and foremost.  I would rather hold a conversation with my chihuahua than heads of state.  I would rather do magick with my cat than with the strongest coven in the state of Georgia.  I have learned, through my time with the goddess, when I need to speak and when I need to listen.  Listening wins out a lot.  Sometimes, I think that we, as humans, are afraid of not getting it right.  What is right?  What is right for me may not be right for you.  The Lady is a wonderful being!  She overlooks our frailties and shortcomings over and over again.  She works her magick right there beside us….whether we follow a formula or not. 

I have realized, even with people, there is normally no right or wrong.  It all depends on which side you look at something. This week, my home state was asked to take sides.  To vote on marriage equality.  Supposedly, my side lost.  My side did not lose.  I will continue to love the man I love regardless of whether or not there is a piece of paper telling me I can or can’t.  I choose not to follow the ordinary.  Another friend imparted a wonderful piece of wisdom to me.  She said, “A circle has no sides.”   Think about that one long and hard.

I choose to look at things from inside that circle.  Inside of that circle is a wonderful big ball of energy.  That energy is constantly healing and helping and moving us toward a more complete relationship with the goddess….whether it be Hekate, Cerridwen, Gaia.  I love being inside that circle!  I am enveloped in all that she is and all that I have the potential of being.

I love my life.  I love the fact that I am right here in my own version of a cottage….with all my curiosities sitting on the shelves and potions and herbs filling the rooms.  I love the fact that my wolf is a chihuahua and my lion is a gray and white tom cat.

All I have to say is……Blessed Be.

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3 thoughts on “A Solitary Life…

  1. Your words are the most precious gift in the world to me. Thank you for your wisdom. Your friendship. I thank the goddess for you. BB

  2. I honestly believe we are Soul Sister and Brother! In fact my Myers Briggs has even changed drastically from E almost off the charts to now moving into a strong I! You have spoken of your transition is wonderful words once again and it gave me the affirmation that being solitary is not a “bad’ thing but just another transition close to Goddess! Blessed be my lovely brother! Love you!

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