I heard the harshest words I think I have ever heard come out of my partners mouth this past Monday. Those words were, “I don’t feel like you listen to me anymore.” Those words may not sound all that harsh to you, but they cut through me like a sword. The very sound of them hurt deep into my heart.
When we met, there were no smart phones, neither of us had texting packages on our phones and we had one TV with basic cable. At that time of our lives, we were forced to connect with one another. We talked, we laughed, we actually socialized with each other.
Yes, we have been together for almost eight years now and I have heard the arguments before. “All couples drift apart to some degree.” “You have just gotten comfortable with each other.” We weren’t like that for many years, though. Why now?
Laziness is part of it. Believe it or not, we have actually texted each other in the next room rather than get up and talk face to face. We would rather spend time parked in front of a TV, DVR, or Facebook than actually carry on meaningful conversation.
The kicker for me, though, was the phrase, “You spend more time with your Magick than you do me.” My first inclination was to get really defensive….to yell my reasons back at him. He, however, had not raised his voice or said it so accusingly. He said it with his back to me, very matter-of-factly with very little emotion. All I could muster that night was a broken, “I’m sorry.” I rolled over on my side of the bed and my mind began racing. Everything he said was true.
I started to think….I had honestly been pouring more Magick into other people and situations than I had my own partner and our relationship. It is so much easier to give to those who aren’t with you or around you everyday than those that are. “Oh, he will understand. After all, I spend every free moment with him.” Yes, he did understand for a while, but essentially what I was giving him was leftovers. Imagine having cold leftover pizza every night for the rest of your life.
I sat down with him the next night and seriously and wholeheartedly apologized to him for giving him the leftovers. I promised that I would make the effort to listen to him and that I would incorporate him into my Magick. He seemed excited, but you could tell he didn’t want to get his hopes up.
I went on Wednesday after work and bought some dark chocolate and strawberries. I brought him into the kitchen with me when I got home and explained to him what I was going to do. I was going to work some food Magick with him. I melted the chocolate, adding a dash of cinnamon and a dash of cayenne. I stirred the pot widdershins (counterclockwise). I was working with the waning moon. I explained to him that this was to banish anything negative that either one of us had brought into the relationship. I began to recite the words to the spell I had written. He seemed curious, so I asked if he would like to read it with me. He did. After the strawberries were dipped and chilled, I took him into the courtyard and we built a fire in the cauldron together. I brought the strawberries out to him and we had a nice cold glass of moon moscato. Again, I apologized deeply as witnessed by the goddess and we sat on the outdoor sofa and cuddled and drank under the moon. We laughed at the chocolate smeared across our lips.
I could see the goddess smiling. It is about the need directly in front of us. Sometimes we forget that those the closest to us need just a little extra magick poured into them. Sometimes it isn’t enough to just love somebody. Sometimes they need a little extra sugar and spice magick added to your relationship. Sometimes all it takes is charging a crystal so that they can carry it and feel the love that you have for them pulsing from the energy of the crystal. Rose quartz works wonderfully.
Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I…..