Shine On, Shine On Harvest Moon…..

Last night was a beautiful night. I started the evening doing all of those required partner things that one finds oneself doing in a relationship. I was ecstatic about the view of the moon I had. It was cloudy and hazy, but she was so bright, I could see her wherever I walked. I was so antsy. I wanted to hurry and get through the requirements (now don’t tell me I am the only one who has ever felt this way) just to get to spend some time under the moon.

When the evening was through and my partner was poured out in front of the bedroom television watching those recorded reality shows that he loves so much and the dogs and the roomie were all in bed…..I put on my clogs (not fashionable, but they get the job done) and I slipped out the door to the pond. I felt like I could breathe again. Sometimes it is really hard being a transplanted country boy in the city. I am used to acres of space, and sometimes living in the city makes me feel a little caged up. It seems, sometimes, that everywhere I look there are people within arms length. Now I am a very huggy, “not much personal space needed” type of guy, but sometimes I really just have to get out into the open and feel the breeze, the dirt, the water, the sun, the moon, and anything else not associated with people.

It felt a little different not having my little “witching” buddy with me. I am so used to Friz curling up in my lap in the morning hours, but he is one of those pups that does not like staying up past his bedtime. He will stand outside of the kennel when it is time to go to bed at night. He does love to sleep. I looked around to the edge of the trees and thought for a moment that I was going to be under the moonlight completely alone when I suddenly saw something slowly coming toward me. It was black and white cat. In my best Ollivander voice I laughed and said, “I wondered when I’d be seeing you, Mr. Potter.” Well, I thought it funny, but the cat didn’t seem amused.

I settled in under my old friend oak and I must have dozed off. I felt a cat tail rubbing against my face. I looked at my watch and saw that I had been out there for about an hour, so I figured I had better go get some sleep. I knew that a certain little blue chihuahua and his doxy sister would be waking me up bright and early this morning.

I thought a little about this…..we always charge our stones, crystals, tools out in the moonlight. Sometimes it is just ourselves that we need to charge. Just napping out there under that tree was so invigorating. Yes, it was hazy, but dear sweet Lady Luna was still able to reach through and pour her power over me. With those thoughts tickling through my brain, I bid black and white cat goodnight and assured him that I would be back in the morning with Friz and I plodded off to bed.

Bright and early this morning I heard those familiar little sniffs and grunts coming from the kennel. It is probably a good thing I can function on just a few hours sleep. My partner and I got up, got the pups and kits fed, then he and the doxy went back to bed while Friz and I made our way to the pond. I looked the sky over for my dear friend, Lady Luna. It was still hazy, but every so often she would come out from behind a cloud. She was so bright and it seemed as though I could reach out and touch her. I brought my wand and my cloak with me this morning for a little informal ritual. I wore my cloak out to the pond a couple of weeks ago….I didn’t think anything about it…until I heard one neighbor talking to another the next day. He was sure he had seen the grim reaper out by the pond and he swore he would never go in that direction again.

I settled in next to the oak and out of nowhere, my friend black and white cat appeared. I never even saw him come up. Friz was settled in my lap, so black and white cat figured that he would take his place beside him. Friz leaned over and licked him on the head and they snuggled in for the duration. From that position, I had to cast my circle and call on the directions and elements. The only way I can describe what happened next is to say it was like rocking back and forth in the most wonderful hammock you could find. A peace, a comfort came over the whole area. I began to sing out the names of friends and family that I know are in need. I watched as those needs floated effortlessly up to the moon. I listened as she whispered back into my ear.

We talked about autumn and everything it entails. Samhain, pumpkins, that wonderful briskness in the air that catches your breath in mid-stream. We talked about firelight and spirits and animals. Always we talk about the animals. I call on protection for those that don’t have homes and are hungry. I ask her to provide for those who aren’t provided for. I call on her for the needs of the wild ones who seem to be pushed farther and farther out of their own environments. I call on her for protection and healing in my own fur kids and the fur and feather kids of others I know. I am surprised by how many she continually brings to my remembrance….almost as if they are calling out, “Don’t forget me!” There is a donkey, and an old hound dog, cats that like to sleep in sinks, and cats that like to be in the midst of everything…I smile when I see them in my mind’s eye because I know the people with whom they are associated. She reminds me that I will be in the mountains again for Samhain. I will hold my supper out under the stars and the moon and tell granny that it is time to move on. As I close the circle and finish up, I feel the two little critters in my lap stirring. Yawns all around and black and white is gone in a flash. Friz and I slowly walk around the side of the pond and back up to the condo. He climbs up beside me and puts his belly out to rub. It’s as if he was saying, “I liked that. We need to do it again.”

Harvest moon shine down your light. Pour over us as we gather tonight. Your rays fill us with strength and power as we call upon you in this magickal hour. Dreams and visions for us to see. As I will so mote it be.

Blessed be, yáll!

Conversing with the Fur and Feather People

I spent a long time this morning by the pond. It seemed only fitting after my Mabon ritual last night. During all of my rituals, I always give honor to the friends and comrades who have come to show me the way. There is black and white cat, Mama Crow, my own cat Merlin, and that little blue chihuahua. I also add the other pets in the household, whether they show any interest in Magick or not. I love to work with animal spirits during ritual. As I have said before, I have always felt closer to animals than any human I have ever met. Animals have a purity that humans will never have. I have a crow skull that I use in my rituals. It was collected from a dead crow. I will not harm an animal for magick. It does have a powerful energy, though. You can feel the power and spirit of the crow as you work with it.

So, when I went out to the pond this morning, there was that little blue chihuahua at my side and of course I see black and white cat padding quickly in our direction. It’s funny….I was telling a friend yesterday that he never stays around long enough for me to bring him home. He always disappears into the nearby trees whenever our time at the pond is done. I settled against oak tree and began thinking about all of the animal magick that surrounds me. I see large birds flying across the pond. I guess they are cranes. I can’t really see that far off without my glasses. As the sun moves higher into the sky as the morning progresses, I can hear Mama crow in the distance. She is sitting on top of her phone pole in the parking lot.

During this time of bliss, I am reminded of how animals have always led me in and shown me directions in my spiritual path. As a child, I was constantly guided by owl. I was never one afraid of the dark, but when I seemed lost or confused about life in general, owl would appear in the tallest darkest tree in the woods. I might not see him, but I would always hear him and I would talk out the worlds problems with him. Many a night that old owl would show me which direction to walk in whether he realized it or not. Of course, through my life, there have been multitudes of cats there to add a touch of cat magick to the many situations I encountered. One such cat was named Apple Dumpling. She was a cantankerous old calico. She followed me everywhere. She was my protector. I was always scared to death of mice and of course there was no shortage of mice on our small farm. I would watch her pounce and I knew once again she had protected me from the vicious monstrous mice that lived there.

My memory drifted this morning to my wonderful old dog, Vagabond Patch or Patches. She was the sweetest, smartest Australian Shepherd anyone could ever know. I loved her dearly and she loved me. The shepherds had their own version of the Taj Mahal out next to the pasture, but I knew that Patches was afraid of thunderstorms. At the first sign of any such storm, I would sneak her into the house and into my bedroom. I got in trouble for it, but it was so worth it to have that wonderful double-coated blue merled piece of magick curled up next to me. It was this fear of thunderstorms that would be her end. She was thirteen or fourteen years old…you could tell there was some dimentia setting in. She had been promoted to permanent house dog status by then. One evening a thunderstorm came up and as my dad came in the front door from work, she ran out the door. I ran after her calling for her but she just kept running. We looked every inch of that county over for a month with no sign of her. We never found her, but I know that she is still with me….I feel her. It is just as real as those nights she was curled up in the bed next to me. 


As I was sitting by the pond today, I could feel the breathing of that little blue chihuahua.  Calmly and effortlessly he would inhale and exhale.  I knew he was napping.  I looked beside him and there is black and white cat, breathing just as calmly and just as effortlessly…napping also.  Then a thought came to me.  Here they sit in the lap of the one person that they trust implicitly.  They know that I am there to protect them as they let their guard down enough to rest.  Then I hear Mama Crow.  It is almost as if she is echoing with her caw what is going through my mind. 

Why should I not do the same thing with the Lord and Lady….especially as the year winds down.  It is time to let my guard down and let them do what needs to be done in me.  The cooler months are the preparation time.  Everything pulls into itself so that in the spring the new growth will come forth.  I will use these months ahead for study, introspection, for becoming more of my magickal self. 

I watch these two new fast-friends as they drowsily come back into the consciousness of this world.  Friz leans over and licks that old black and white cat and of course that cat leans right into it.  They look around as if everything is new…..but then again, isn’t it?  Everytime we blink, something changes in those brief whispers of time.  Everytime we sleep, we wake up to something that was never like that before. 

I can swear that when I look down at the face of that little blue chihuahua looking back up at me, he is smiling.  It’s almost as if he is saying to me, “I told you something magickal was going to happen today.”  I also can swear at that moment that I felt the brush of a double coated blue merled aussie against my shoulder as I tried to get up. 

Something magickal did happen today.


**Please look for my facebook page, Weathered Wiseman**

How Do I See the Myself I See?

Here we are at Mabon. The fall of the year is upon us. Before we know it, it will be Samhain and then Yule and then wheel of the year will start over. This week has been another week of self discovery along with a week of frustrations.

I took some extra time at the pond this week. I needed the relaxation in the midst of a week that was whirling around me. I dealt with a bout of the flu earlier in the week. I am one of those people who don’t like to be slowed down when I am sick. I don’t like to miss anymore work than I absolutely have to….so with Zpac and vitamins and alot of fluids in hand. I trudged forward. I missed one day of work, but oooh was I mean the rest of the week. Now, by nature, I tend to be very fun-loving, caring, gentle….you know, all those warm fuzzy things—but when I am sick….watch out.

I realized this month that the veil seemed to be thinning earlier than usual this year. Especially with the deaths that have happened in my family. My grandma has been ‘hanging around’ much of the time. I figure that I will entertain her until Samhain and then send her spirit on.

It just seems that so many people have had to deal with so many things this year. Sickness, death, finances…..seems like it has just been going non-stop. Memories and spirits have been high on my list.

One of the things that came to light for me in the past week was, in fact, my past. Now for those that don’t know, I was sexually abused from the age of 4 to 14. My way of dealing with this was years of counselling and eventually making my mind up that it had to be put away in a box that was never opened. My thought was that past is past. Move on. I don’t believe this had anything to do with me being gay….I had those feelings from what seemed like the day I was born. Our emotions have a mind of their own, so to speak. This became something that I dealt with on a daily basis.

It is amazing to me what we are willing to believe. I let myself believe the things that the abuser told me about myself for years. When I forced him to stop the abuse at the age of 14, I was told that the only reason he “did that for me” was because he felt sorry for me. I was too fat and ugly for anyone else to care for me. I was too much of a mental and emotional mess for anyone else to be willing to invest in me. Those were words at that time that I chose to believe. It is incredulous what we see when we look at ourselves through someone elses mirror.

It took years of me trying to prove this man wrong to start seeing my true self emerge. I was told I wasn’t talented. I went to New York and acted for a year. I formed musical groups and sang as much as I could sing. I was told I was fat. I starved myself into thinness. I became a gawky twig of a man at the age of 24. I was told that no one else would be willing to invest in me….I jumped from relationship to relationship and from man to man. Even though I thought I was proving something to someone, I was still holding myself to the standards of what I saw in the mirror he held up.

It was a crisp fall day back 10 years ago or so. I went to visit the person who, I felt, had put me through so much. It was time for me to break the glass in that warped mirror. I stood in front of him and told him that he was a liar. None of what he had said to me or about me was true. It was amazing to me what release I received just by putting a voice to that child inside of me who had been suffering for all those years.

When I got home that day, it was time for me to pull out my new mirror. Mine. No one elses. Mine. I actually stood and looked at myself in that mirror for a good long time. Now, when I saw “The Help,” alot of folks made fun of the housemaid telling that little girl, “You is kind, you is smart, and you is important,” but I have found over the years that the way we speak to ourselves is so very relevant. I look at it as a spell spoken over myself. I look at myself in the mirror every morning and speak the qualities that I want reflected.

Now you don’t have to struggle with years of abuse for this to be an issue in your life. Those were just my circumstances. We are all so guilty of measuring ourselves based on someone elses opinion. I have to deal with collections at work. I was beginning to get quite a reputation for being a bitch to deal with….mostly because people seem to treat you like it’s your fault when they don’t pay a bill. I started to see it affecting my personality. I was approached by a fellow supervisor at work a couple of weeks ago about an answer to a situation that had come up. She came to me because “everybody else is afraid of you.” Now that kind of slapped me in my face a bit. A little healthy respect in the workplace is one thing. Fear is another. I like to envision myself more as a modern day Dumbledore, not Dolores Umbridge.

I realized this week that I have allowed myself to slip back in front of someone elses mirror. I had started becoming what everyone thinks of collections people. I made myself promise this week that no matter what, I refuse to respond with anger to anger. I will keep myself in a calmer place. Nothing is worth my blood pressure jumping around like a spastic child. I even went to a fellow employee this week and apologized for a fit of temper.

So, this morning, I went to the pond. The breeze was dancing with the branches of the trees. That little blue chihuahua was right by my side every step. We passed a fellow with a bigger dog and that little blue chihuahua started kicking at the ground and barking and growling. It was obvious that he saw himself through his own mirror. He sees a wolf in the reflection. I had to smile. He also sees me in the mirror that I have made. He sees the gentle soul. He sees the nurturing, loving papa. I nestled under the tree with this little blue warrior and in the distance we see black and white cat coming toward us. I brought cat food this time….I just about never got that smell of sardines out of my clothes last time. He ate pretty close to us. Friz and I had started to drift off to sleep under that big old oak tree and we were both startled awake… the feeling of someone making biscuits in my lap. Friz leaned back with a look of disdain. I look down and black and white cat is getting comfortable right beside Friz. Friz leaned his head in, gave black and white cat a lick and we all drifted off again. I guess now I need to give him a real name.

Maybe the reflection I see in that mirror now isn’t so much a Dumbledore, but more of a Hagrid. LOL! The one thing we do have to be able to do is let that reflection change as we change. We all sat there in a clump under that old oak tree listening to the wind blow and feeling the coolness off of the water. This is the Myself I choose to see today.

Blessed Mabon!

Pouring Out the Magick

This morning I woke up with a sinus headache.  All I wanted to do was lie in bed with an ice pack on my face and whine.  It felt like a hundred elephants had decided to tap dance across my face and head.  In the kennel next to the bed, though, I could hear a familiar noise….a muffled little whine.  Barely audible, but I knew exactly who it was and what it meant.  There was a little blue chihuahua who knew that most weekend mornings meant a trip to the pond at the edge of the complex. 

Even though I felt like hammered poop, I dragged myself out of bed, fed him, suited him up in his sage green harness and we walked to the pond.  He was ecstatic.  There was a  playfulness in his nature that instantly made me feel better.  We sat under the tree and I saw the black and white cat coming from a distance.  He was padding softly but I could tell there was an excitement in his step (I had stashed some sardines in a baggie in my pocket before leaving).  Oooh I smelled to high heaven, as we say down south, but that cat was sure enjoying himself.  The blue chihuahua didn’t want anything to do with those stinky old fish. LOL!! 

We got comfortable under our good friend Oak and that spoiled little dog was in my lap before I could blink.  He wanted a good dose of Reiki massage.  Of course he knows I always bring a few stones and crystals with me for such an occasion.  He settled into it and let out a contented grunt.  As I am finishing up the massage, I look beside me and black and white cat is actually sitting right next to me, practically leaning against me.  I didn’t make any sudden movements, I just breathed in and out calmly. He was purring.  I noticed that I was feeling quite a bit better.

Something that has been circling my brain this week is the principle of investing in the magick of others.  I feel that Goddess has always given me a heart of compassion and generosity, but there is so much more.  I love to surprise friends of mine with gifts of stones and crystals, or if they have a need, trying to find a way to help them meet that need.  That lovely, lovely lady showed me this week that it can encompass so much more than that.  She gave me a few wonderful visions this week.  She showed me a cauldron, filled to overflowing with sparkling magickal swirling liquid.  The cauldron was then tipped over and the contents poured all over the courtyard.  Wherever the liquid touched, beautiful flowers leapt forward….and as the flowers bloomed, butterflies and fae appeared.  This magick reached throughout and even beyond my courtyard.  She showed me that it should be the same with me.  Whenever I pour magick forth for others, growth happens…not only in me but in them.  It allows the elements and all magickal beings to thrive in their lives.  All of this because I was willing to empty myself.

Another vision I was given was a vision of two hands closed.  There was so very evidently magick inside of those hands, but it was trapped inside.  It could not go anywhere or do anything.  When those hands were opened, that magick went flying everywhere….covering everything it touched with power.  It dawned on me that there is a reason that casting is done with open hands.  To release and send the magick forth. 

I then thought about a wonderful circle of friends that I have.  Each of us has our own special gifts.  Some are gifted in potions.  Wonderful fragrant cleansing potions.  Some are particularly gifted with tarot and shamanic magick. Some are gifted in garden magick and motherly wisdom.  Some are gifted in moon magick and energy work.  Some are gifted in weather witching and some in animal magick.  All of these things are necessary.  None is more or less powerful than the other.  We all benefit from what the other is capable.  We share, we laugh, we love.  It is like that ripple effect I spoke of last time. All it takes is one finger to stir the water.  That ripple affects everything else it comes in contact with.

I have found that if we keep all the magick and power we have to ourselves that we just become fat, contented witches that never move beyond the confines of our own circle.  There is a world out there with a lot of hurt.  So many have forgotten how to believe in magick.  It is not always about things like world peace.  Sometimes it is just letting that magick show so that someone else experiences that sparkle that they had forgotten exists.

A few years ago, there was a woman who I knew from back home.  She had become bored and tired of life as she knew it.  She was lamenting to me one afternoon close to the Christmas season about how life didn’t hold the magick that it held as a child.  Santa Claus had become a thing of the past and there was no fairy dust or anything that she remembered.  I told her she was wrong and then the wheels started spinning.  Over the next few weeks, I collected all kinds of toys and things from the Dollar store.  I got dolls and trains and stuffed animals.  I got a potted cedar tree and kept everything stored in my sun porch up until Christmas. 

Now, we lived deep in the sticks of the country and I happened to know that this woman would be with her family on Christmas Eve.  With her family’s help, I snuck into her house at Midnight and I decorated the front parlor.  I put the tree up with all those big lights that we had as kids.  I used popcorn for garland and big sparkling ornaments.  I put the train set around the base of the tree and the stuffed animals were all over the room with bows around their necks.  I decorated the fireplace and piano with greenery.  As I left, I gift-wrapped the door and put a sign on it that said, “Do Not Open Until Christmas.” I snuck out of the house and went home to bed.

I got a phone call the next morning really early.  She had gotten home and seen the door.  There was just enough child in her that she left it alone until Christmas morning.  I had to pull on a coat and get over there as quickly as possible.  When she opened the door, she started to cry…not sad  tears…but the tears of a child who has just gotten that final golden ticket.  She ran around the room and had to touch everything.  There was never a thought that I did all of that, but she knew that magick had visited her that Christmas and to this day she still believes in that magick.  That same day, she made Christmas wonderful for some beautiful children in need.  She took all of those toys to the local homeless shelter and let those kids see the magick also.

It doesn’t take something so elaborate, though, to share that magick that flourishes within you.  All it takes is seeing the need and putting forth the magickal effort to find a way of meeting that need….whether it is with energy or whatever you can do.  It also isn’t about just the needs of people.  What about that stray cat that you have seen in the neighborhood?  Or that couple that just got a new puppy and don’t know where to begin?  Or what about that friend who just hasn’t felt like herself over the past few weeks? 

Sometimes the magick isn’t contained in a potion bottle.  Sometimes it isn’t a chant that is spoken like thunder into the wind.  Sometimes that magick is you.

When you feel like it the least is when the Goddess can use you the most.  When you are your emptiest is when she can fill you to overflowing.  You are the most magickal thing she has ever created.  Blessed Be!

Something Bigger Than I

I spent another morning out by the pond this morning.  It was wonderfully cool. I could feel the coming fall.  The breeze whispered in my ear that it would be here before I could blink.  Again, I settled at the base of my favorite tree…an old oak, alongside my chihuahua, and I pondered the world around me.  The pond has become a safe place outside of my courtyard for me.  As a witch, I think it only natural that we should have that refuge in nature.

At that moment, my mind wandered to the things that had been happening in the apartment complex lately.  Rumors of drug deals going on around us, pimps, and so many unsavory people as of lately.  A couple of weeks ago, I had had a run-in with one of the neighbors because he drinks alot and came barreling into the complex in his truck.  He just about hit my partner headon.  If my partner hadn’t swerved, then it would have been a full-on collision.  I am normally fairly calm and easy going, but let’s just say that at that moment, the Morrigan took over.  Not only did I let him know in any certain terms that I would absolutely stomp him (this is a good old fashioned southern term), but I told him that if he stepped one foot out of line that there would be hell to pay.

At that moment, I realized that it was time for me to take back the apartment complex.  This was more than just protection magick.  This was Magick that had to encompass several miles around us. I haven’t gone into much detail about the Magick I do outside of the usual ritual, but one type of Magick that I do work with is Dragon Magick.  I have done this for quite a few years.  This is not the type of magick where you just decide one night to call up a dragon spirit.  This type of magick requires nurturing and relationship.  This particular night of magick required something much bigger than I am.  This night required all of my spirit helpers.  This night required the Morrigan.  This was a night of war.

I look back on Medieval times, and I think of all the lives of the common people that were lost at the hands of greed and selfishness.  The common people should never have to pay the price for another’s “sins.”  On this night, all I could think about were the children that didn’t want to come outside and play anymore because of the things transpiring in the complex, or the people who had become afraid to walk their dogs at night because they didn’t know who or what they would be approached by.

I set the altar up at midnight, prepared the circle, called in the elements and the directions….just like with any other ritual.  I brought offerings to those I had need to call on.  I built the cauldron fire, lit the candles.  I held my wand, Raven Light and Dark, at my side.  I cried out to the Morrigan.  I was answered by the cry of the crow that nests on top of the phone post across the way.  I cried out to the spirit of the Dragon.  I was answered by the blaze of the fire in the cauldron….raring up and licking at the air.  I called to the spirit of the Gryphon (this has been a magick helper to me since I was a boy).  I felt the wind pick up and knew that I had been answered.  I sat and communed and discussed the situation with them all.  I told them of the impending need.  I waited for their answer.  I thanked them for their help, gave them their offerings, and watched as they each embarked upon their tasks.  I closed the ritual and walked back inside with a deep knowing in my heart….a knowing that my requests did not fall on deaf ears.

I went about my day the following morning just as I always did.  I got up, showered, went to work.  I normally drive home at lunch to walk the dogs and to just escape the day for a bit.  As I drove into the apartment complex, I noticed a county marshall’s car sitting at the entrance.  I watched as he loaded 15 or 20 people into the “paddy wagon.”  There had been a drug bust.  I said a loud “thank you” in the car as I drove by.  I knew this had not been an accident.  I watch daily now as I see more and more positive things happening here. I watch as people who were a part of that “questionable” group are moving out.  I feel as safe as a bug in a rug. Yes, the pond has become my safe place.  I feel completely comfortable there at dawn.  I have also noticed the children playing more lately and more people walking their dogs after dark.

It took a while for me to realize that I can’t handle everything on my own.  I am not helpless by any means.  I have helpers and advocates that can be called on.  I do not order them around.  I make requests. I stand before them knowing that I am the smaller of the group.  I respect them and revere them.  I bring gifts.  Why?  Because I am a witch and all of this magick is right at my fingertips.

I am never alone.  As long as I believe in the spirit of the Dragon, the spirit of the Gryphon and the Morrigan.  I am never without a stronger hand. I am never alone.

As I relaxed by the pond this morning with my chihuahua at my side and my new cat friend a few feet away, it was so easy to look over to my right and see a gryphon resting quietly in the grass.  It was just as easy to hear rustling of the wings of a dragon overhead.  What was missing?  Yes….I heard it.  I heard the calling of the crow in the distance.

Sometimes we just need someone bigger than ourselves.

When Change Becomes Inevitable

Each year, the change of the seasons becomes more and more amazing to me.  Things happen right under your nose.  You look at a tree one day and it seems dead and worn out.  You look again the following day and there is new growth….buds just waiting to spring forth.  Winter to spring can be a glorious thing, but then again, so can summer to fall.

Just a bit ago, we had a strong sturdy rainstorm come up.  I decided that I needed to go walking for a bit. Most people would see someone walking through the rain with no umbrella and think that they have lost their marbles. During the walk, you could smell the change of the seasons coming.  Earlier in the week when you would walk outside there was a humid summery smell.  It was the smell of that last beach trip or the smell of that last hurrah that the garden sends out.  Today was the smell of cool wet leaves preparing for the transition from vivid green to the reds, oranges and yellows of autumn.  It was the smell of the squirrels digging up the acorns they had buried so that they could take them back to the nest.

It seems like just yesterday that we were complaining about that bone-chilling cold that winter brings and preparing for Yule. The world has a way of changing around us sometimes without us even realizing it.  Many times, though, we will be asked to participate in that change.  The past year has brought so many changes to my life.  Some of these changes were wonderful, some I thought were so-so, and some of the changes hurt and I did not like them. 

Over the past year, I have seen many births (human and animal).  There is nothing like holding a newborn of any species in your hands and feeling the miracle that shines forth from this new life.  I also have experienced many deaths over the past year…not just the old who had completed the circle and were ready to move on, but also much younger who weren’t quite ready to leave this life behind and fought the transition tooth and nail.  I have also had to help some along….spirits that were ready to go, but for some reason the body just wouldn’t let go.  One such instance plays across my mind…I was asked to be a part of the transition stage for an old dog.  I could tell when I walked into the room that she was in pain and was ready to cross over into the summerlands.  She could barely breathe and any movement was an enormous effort.  She laid her head into the palm of my hand as the doctor spoke to the caretakers.  We did what was needed and as she took her last breath, I felt her relax completely into my hands.  I sat there with tears running down my cheek and knew that she had at last gotten the peace and healing she needed.  I was the one changed.

How many times have we been confronted by any change only to fight kicking and screaming against it?  Most of the time, it is going to happen whether we want it to or not.  Movement is a natural part of the circle.  Part of the proof is by looking at the way the body responds to inactivity.  If you were to be sedentary long enough, the muscles atrophy.  They lose strength and power.  It is the same way with our spiritual path whether it be witchcraft or christianity or buddhism.  If we don’t change, if we dont move, we lose spiritual strength and power.  For this reason alone, I do some bit of Magick everyday.  It could be a simple spell for healing or strength, but it keeps Magick alive in my life. 

We hear so many in the world today say that Magick no longer exists or that there is no such thing as Magick.  That only comes from a group of people who have either chosen not to believe or have chosen not to utilize the power that Magick holds.  If you tell the caterpillar not to turn into a butterfly, it doesn’t keep it from happening, but it may just keep you from seeing it.

The word “change” in the picture above could honestly be replaced with the word “Magick.”  Isn’t most change, just that anyway?  Magick? 

I went walking with Frisbee down by the pond again this morning.  There was a nice cooling breeze dancing across the water.  As I watched, I saw the water dancing alongside the breeze. Ripples and waves and motion all following the lead of that glorious breeze.  There was a definite aroma out there.  It was the smell of life….movement….change.  Have you ever smelled stagnant water?  It stinks.  Seriously, the smell will make you sick. 

I sat leaned against the largest tree by the pond.  I could feel the fae trying to tickle the underside of my nose as I drifted off.  I could feel Friz settle in and get comfortable next to me. The black and white cat that has become a part of mine and Friz’ pond time was settled in closeby.  If I hadn’t been willing to accept change, I might have shooed him away on the first visit.  I made a promise then and there.  I promise to try my best to embrace the changes brought before me.  I will follow those rabbits into the rabbit hole.  I will climb the mountains that seem a bit too high. I will chase breezes and play dodgeball with the raindrops.  I will embrace Magick wholeheartedly and surrender what I am for what I truly can become.

If you always do what you have always done, you will always be what you always were.

Blessed Be!


Communing With the Lord and Lady

It is often unusual that I do two blog posts in a row, but I had such a time this morning with the Lord and Lady that I had to share.  It all began with the Blue Moon on Friday night. 

Friday night as I prepared for my time before the moon, I cleansed and sorted my crystals for soaking up the moonlight.  I could feel a wonderful energy inside the courtyard, but I could feel it calling out of the courtyard that night.  I did my usual preparations and setup, but as I settled in for what I knew was going to be a powerful magickal night.  The air was breezy but balmy.  I felt a drawing in my spirit that I couldn’t ignore.  I began to hear the calling of the water in the pond down the hill in the rear of the complex.  The only way I can describe this is that it must be that same feeling that sailors used to get when sirens sang.  I knew that I had to go to the water.  I pulled up a few larger crystals…one of which was a new Merlinite stone, a few candles, and my matches.  I walked slowly toward the pond.  I knew that something important was about to transpire.

As I reached the bank of that pond and put my supplies down, I looked at the water.  The moon was large and white and it felt as if I could reach out and touch her.  I set up my circle and lit my candles and got my crystals in position.  Again, I heard the call of the water.  I took my shirt off and sat in my shorts on the bank.  The breeze cooled the sweat on my skin. I began to feel something starting deep within me.  I knew this feeling.  All of the grief of the week surrounding my grandma’s death started to rumble inside of me.  It is always easier for me to take care of others than to attend to my own feelings.  As I felt this feeling winding its way up through my body, an anguished cry escaped my lips.  I then began crying uncontrollably.  I watched as my tears were added to the water in the pond.  I saw the ripples from each drop.  I needed the element of water that night to wash away my pain.

After the cleansing, I did my ritual and finished up.  As I was finishing, I noticed a cat that I have seen in the neighborhood standing off behind a tree.  I sat quietly.  I knew it was there for communion.  It was there for magick.  I started to quietly sing to the universe.  The more I sang, the closer the cat got to me.  By the end of the evening the cat was next to me allowing me to stroke it as it purred loudly.  I knew that the Lady in her faithfulness had blessed me with another magickal companion.  We looked at each other with a certain knowing and then the cat was gone as quickly as he had come.  I look back on it now and I think.  He was a black and white cat.  He was equal parts black and equal parts white….the balance of light and dark.  Funny.

This brings us to this morning.  My chihuahua and I were out for our routine Sunday morning walk. We had already been around the complex and we normally finish our walk out by the pond.  The closer we got, the more excited he became.  He was dancing at the end of the leash.  He knows that there are wonderful magickal happenings at that pond.  We settled down into the grass under a tree close to the water.  In his usual fashion, Friz curled up in my lap and dozed off with his head on my leg.  I, too, was feeling sleep trying to creep upon me. 

I looked up and it seemed that there were hundreds of dragonflies whirring around us.  Now, in Georgia, you gotta look up because it could be one of those five inch long mosquitos.  I glanced down at Friz and I tell you it was a look of fascination on his face.  He sat there with his mouth open and all those dragonflies buzzing around.  It was like watching a million fae at play.  I looked up again and there was the black and white cat sitting there staring at me and this strange looking pup.  Now, Friz has cats in the house with him so he has no prey drive with them.  The cat came closer and closer.  The next thing I know,  there is me, Friz and this cat all lounging under the tree.  I could feel the breeze again against my face.  It was almost as if I was allowed to physically feel the turn of the wheel of the year.  It was as if the Lord and Lady walked past me holding hands and I was allowed to watch them walk into surrounding trees.

Who are we to be allowed to experience the divine? To be allowed to embark on supernatural journeys?  To be allowed to touch the heavens and earth at the same time?  We are a part of that divine.  We are witches.  We were born for all things magickal.

Waking the Sleeping Bear

There are days that I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if I have become a shadow of the person I once was.  Have I become a big lumbering bear, staggering from a food stupor after raiding a campsite? I watch myself sometimes wander from day to day tranquilized by life the way the dancing bear from the circus is, always muzzled and kept safely leashed so that I don’t hurt myself or anyone else.

I have watched myself, at work and at home, become so much more like that trained bear.  A smile and a nod that everything is ok and that I am willing to do whatever it takes not to cause ripples in life. My job has become peacemaker, counsellor, problem solver….hmmm parent sometimes. 

It seems that at work lately, the new work force has become more and more immature.  I have found that coworkers now seem to need coercing and coddling instead of being supervised.  Sometimes I feel as though they expect me to treat them the way I have watched mother cats behave with their kittens.  They want me to clean them and preen them, make sure that they are well taken care of.

Don’t get me wrong, we all have to do our share of coddling and developing of other people, but I feel like nowadays we live in a society of Peter Pans.  We have people around us constantly who don’t want to grow up.  If I counted the times I have had to listen to “He did this, She said that….” I might pull out what little hair I have. I can only try to describe how many times in a day I use the phrase, “And why do you think it made you feel this way?”  And trust me…I am A/R not Human Resources.

Now the funny thing about the Goddess is that she can teach us a lesson when we want it the least or don’t feel like we are emotionally strong enough to put it to practice.  As I told you in the last post, we had been essentially waiting for my grandmother to pass into the summerlands.  Well, she did that last weekend.  I was bombarded with so many feelings that I had forgotten I had.  So many memories overtook me at the strangest times.

You can say alot about my grandma, but pushover was never a word used to describe her.  Never once did she cater to anyones whims or moods.  She was a very matter of fact woman.  She was always one of those women that lived by the philosophy “If it comes up, it comes out.” Don’t get me wrong, granny was never intentionally rude or crass when it came to dealing with people.  She just met them where they were.  I used to be that way.  I remember her telling me many a time how much better she thought I would look with shorter hair and then when I cut it, she would tell me she liked it longer.  She was a very honest individual.  She would also insist that I sing on a regular basis because she didn’t feel I was honoring the universe by keeping it to myself. 

The strength of my grandmother came to me alot over the past week.  She had always taught me to be proud of myself, no matter what anyone else thought.  She always told me that I was one of a kind and the minute I tried to become like someone else would take away my uniqueness.  She knew I was gay.  She embraced it because she loved me for who I was. Why did I think that I would be able to get through any funeral service for her without having to prove the strength she had embedded in me.

I was standing in the line for “visitation” as southerners call it—-it’s a “calling” for northerners and mid-westerners.  As I am standing there next to my niece, I knew there was going to be trouble.  One of our highly “religious” distant cousins is approaching us in line…..You know the type…..teased up and shellacked hair, painted on eyebrows, and round as a bale of cotton.  I hear her just a few folks down from me lean in and whisper to her cohort and whispers really loudly, “That’s the girl that had the child out of wedlock.”  I kept my cool….for a bit.  She gets to me and looks me from horn to hoof and says, “Why do you have that sinful earring?”  I answered simply, “Because I like it.” She retorts, “You know that’s not godly.”  I could feel granny behind me, kicking off her shoes and rolling up her sleeves.  I looked the woman eye to eye and said, “Neither is your teased up, hen-shit brown hair, your painted on eyebrows and your rather substantial ass.  Now leave before I stick my foot up that fat ass of yours and parade you down Main Street.”  After she swallowed all the air in the room, she left.  My aunt leaned over and whispered, “Your grandma never did like that woman.” 

My earring might not be your cup of tea, but it is mine.  I like the way I look.  I may not always feel that self confident with myself, but for the most part I really like me.  It is the same with my homosexuality.  I don’t ask for approval.  It isn’t needed.  I never asked you to enter my bedroom.  I am, however, proud of myself, my partner, our lifestyle and our friends.  I tried to be ‘not gay’ for a while.  It didn’t work.  That is what felt unnatural. 

I am not here to preach gay rights or anything of that sort.  What I am saying is be who you are.  Don’t stifle yourself for the sake of a job or a group of people.  If you roar when you talk….roar proudly.  If you lisp….do it just as proudly.

This week with my grandma’s undying spirit reminded me of who I have become over the years.  I am not a trained bear.  I do not roll over on command.  I do not coddle and tell you that it’s always going to be unicorn farts with rainbow sprinkles.  I offer reality.  I offer love.  I offer strength. I refuse to blow smoke up your hoo-hah.  That was who my grandma taught me to be….myself.

Sometimes it is not only necessary to cause ripples in life.  It is very necessary to just do a big ole belly flop and cause a gigantic splash.  It is good to shake things up every so often—-not for the sake of just causing friction….but because it is needed.  Everything in balance.

I said earlier that we live in a society of Peter Pans.  That isn’t a bad thing….but without Captain Hook, there was never any real purpose for Pan.

So what happened this week?  This ole grizzly got his teeth back….and his roar.  The best magick you can do is to be who you are.

Please join me on my Facebook page.  It is Weathered Wiseman.