I have been absolutely craving time outside this week. It seems that everything that could get in my way, did. I either had to pull extra hours at work or there seemed to be some mini crisis raising its head at home. The day after Christmas, it seems as if I hit the road running. End of month and year at work….inventory…add to this, the fact that I have had something akin to the flu this week.
In the midst of it all, I pushed through. I struggled through every minute of it with eyes constantly watering, sweat dripping from every pore and snot pouring from my red, sore nostrils. I would come home from work and do the work needed at home and then collapse in a heap under a blanket on the couch hoping not to piss somebody off because I tend to be a little overly emotional when I am sick. I wouldn’t even turn the television on. I sat and longingly looked out the window (You know, the way a feral cat sits and stares outside once he has been made into an inside-only pet).
I begged my body to feel well enough to just take a brief walk to the woods. It betrayed me. It mocked me as I became winded with a brief walk to the bathroom. I could feel the outdoors calling to me with each whip of the wind. Everywhere I turned, I knew the Morrigan was calling. Crows were everywhere. I would walk through the parking lot to work in the mornings and there was a full murder of crows. I would arrive home in the afternoons to meet the same sight in the condo parking lot. I felt like a sick child whose best friend was standing just within earshot begging him to come out and play.
This evening, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I had to venture out into the woods. I took the little blue chihuahua with me. I felt like a 100 year old man as I wheezed and lumbered toward the edge of the complex. The sky was overcast and the threat of rain was looming, but still I had to be in the midst of the woods. I had to feel that familiar strength that all the elements combined could give. I knew that if I could just spend some time there that healing would come.
I knew that if I could only pass over the threshold into the woods that strength would come. My breath seemed to come more forced as I walked….but I had to keep going. As I reached the small clearing that I have become accustomed to…I could feel lightness in my spirit. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the elements were combining to revive me. I leaned back against a tree. I recalled a conversation that some friends of mine and I had earlier about what kind of tree we would be. I chose the Rowan. A dear friend posted this link:
The Rowan is seen as the tree of life. It is also known as Mountain Ash, Quickbeam, The Witch or Witch Wand. In the British Isles, Rowan is used as a protection against lightning and magical charms of all sorts. In ancient Ireland, the Druids of opposing forces would kindle a fire of rowan and say an incantation over it to summon spirits to take part in the battle. The Rowan is also used for many healing purposes. The “Quickbeam” is the tree of quickening. Another use was in metal divining. In Ireland, a Rowan stake was hammered through a corpse to immobilize the spirit.
Divination, healing, astral work, protection.
Funny that I should feel a kinship with this tree…I remembered later that my wand, “Raven Light and Dark” is made of Rowan wood. The connection is definitely there. I love the feel of my wand in my hands. It feels like I am ‘home’ no matter what. I rarely go anywhere without her.
As I rested against the tree, I could sense my animal companions, crow and wolf, closeby. Crow was moving around constantly….almost restless. I looked over and saw wolf lying down…resting…tired. Crow was agitated. Crow was pecking at and pushing at wolf. I guess wolf was feeling more of what my physical body was feeling while crow was feeling what the spirit was feeling. It isn’t that wolf couldn’t move….he just chose not to.
I dozed off momentarily and was awakened by rain hitting me in the face. While it was cold and shocking, it was also refreshing. Rain has always been a cleanser for me. I could feel my stress melting in the constant drizzle. The cage door had finally been opened and I felt my heart rush. If you haven’t figured out by now, I tend to bottle my own emotions—a little too tightly at times. Most of the time they come rushing out at record speeds when bottled for too long. I knew this was coming when I went ballistic at work for a bit this morning. After I finished my rant, I felt a bit better, but I knew more was brewing….add to this the hyper-emotionalism that sickness brings to me.
I began to feel the energy of the coming full moon. It stirred in me the excitement of what the New Year has in store. I know this year holds much more growth for me….much more honing of the skills that Lord and Lady have given me. I feel that stronger magick is beginning to swirl around me and in me. I can feel wonderful things coming…I can smell it in the wind and rain. With all of this, I became overwhelmed and could feel the tears begin to flow. These were not tears of sadness, but tears of joy and excitement. Friz lifted his head to mine and licked the salty tears from my cheek. He is such a tender little soul.
I feel a stronger call to nature this year…..the need to join with her and rebuild and fortify. I feel a stronger call for the animals….a need for more communication and protection. As I have said before, I feel a call to simplicity this year…my life will become less cluttered this year. If this takes major changes on my part, so mote it be. I can barely contain the excitement.
As we walked back home, I still felt physically weak, but spiritually uplifted. So many wonderful things in store for me and those around me. Magick is a wonderful thing…..it encompasses all those things that we cannot quite fathom and takes us far beyond.
What magickal workings are in store? Lord and Lady only know. I open myself up and say, “So Mote It Be.”
The first photo, of the full moon, was taken by a wonderful, talented friend of mine, Jason Williams