2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 3,200 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 5 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Do You Believe In Magick?

Today was a different kind of day for me.  I actually slept in.  Normally sleeping in for me is getting up at 7am with the dogs.  This morning, I got up, took the dogs out, went back to bed….and slept until 10am.  I know it was because I have been sick.  My body would be wide awake when the pups wake me and would not be able to go back to sleep.

When I finally woke up, I woke up with a strong, strange feeling.  I had an unspeakable joy rising up in me.  I felt as if my being a witch was the only thing that mattered in the world and the air around me positively shimmered.  I could feel the same type of energy coming from the cats and dogs.  I felt, honestly, that magickally, I could do anything.  There were no limits to the power inside me.  It isn’t that the symptoms of the sickness that I have been dealing with weren’t there….but it felt like it didn’t matter.  That I could overcome it…whether it be with spell or potion or whatever means of magick I could think of. 

My cat, Merlin, was in rare form.  He was particularly loveable this morning.  He curled up on my chest for a bit, purring louder than I have ever heard.  I watched him as he pounced down and leapt into the air…playfully batting at nothing (of course, we all know that he was playing with the fae).  I looked on this sight and laughed out loud.  ” I do love magick!”  I felt it fly out of my mouth with the strength and grace of a dragon.  Nothing else allows for the intent that I muster to be turned into something tangible and useable.  Magick is about everything that I can muster from deep inside myself…..it is everything around me…..it is energies and elements and everything in between.harry potter I love magic

Of course, as these feelings overtook me….I felt the call of the woods.  I wanted, however, to go to the local ‘witchy store.’  I got a gift card for Christmas and it was burning a hole in my pocket. LOL!  When I got to the ‘witchy store,’ though, there was a group of young men who were putting out a lot of weird, odd energy.  I heard them discussing that, in their opinions, witchcraft was satanic.  I quietly corrected them and told them that I was a witch and that I didn’t believe in satan.  They laughed strangely and moved to the other side of the store.  I picked up the tarot deck that I had gone for and left.  Once inside my car, I felt the need to cleanse and ground.  I felt like I had been slimed.  My dear friend, Maluna, told me to ‘shake it off….that I was more powerful than that.’ 

I got home and put on my cloak and headed to the woods.  I needed that grounding…that wonderful feeling I had earlier.  As I got closer to the woods, I could feel the presence of the Lord and Lady walking with me.  I could feel the wildness of the woods beckoning.  My spirit animals were almost dancing in anticipation of my arrival.  I watched that little blue chihuahua get rambunctious and I just knew that he was playing with the spirit of wolf and crow.  He was doing the little bounce thing that he does when he is playing with his sister.  I settled into the dirt and I felt the shiver of cold run up my back.  It was bitterly cold out there, but warmly welcoming.  I had to feel the dirt under my feet….if I had thought about it, I would have worn my moccasins.  I took my shoes off and dug my toes down into the dirt…..oh, what a feeling!!  I could feel the elements of earth and air joining with water and fire as I absorbed their energy.  The coolness of the dirt on my toes reminded me how refreshing my chosen path can be. 

Magick is something that was born into me…it grows stronger every day.  It is a part of me and I am a part of it.  With magick comes joy….but a huge amount of power and responsibility.  It took a long time for me to get to where I am and to become who I am.  I look back and some of it was hard….but I wouldn’t change a thing.  I am at a point now where the joy and the thrill of magick are very much a part of me….and a bit of bad energy will not throw me again.  I just need to remind myself time and time again:  I am more powerful than that. 

Blessed Be!

Where Do We Go From Here?

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I have been absolutely craving time outside this week. It seems that everything that could get in my way, did. I either had to pull extra hours at work or there seemed to be some mini crisis raising its head at home. The day after Christmas, it seems as if I hit the road running. End of month and year at work….inventory…add to this, the fact that I have had something akin to the flu this week.

In the midst of it all, I pushed through. I struggled through every minute of it with eyes constantly watering, sweat dripping from every pore and snot pouring from my red, sore nostrils. I would come home from work and do the work needed at home and then collapse in a heap under a blanket on the couch hoping not to piss somebody off because I tend to be a little overly emotional when I am sick. I wouldn’t even turn the television on. I sat and longingly looked out the window (You know, the way a feral cat sits and stares outside once he has been made into an inside-only pet).

I begged my body to feel well enough to just take a brief walk to the woods. It betrayed me. It mocked me as I became winded with a brief walk to the bathroom. I could feel the outdoors calling to me with each whip of the wind. Everywhere I turned, I knew the Morrigan was calling. Crows were everywhere. I would walk through the parking lot to work in the mornings and there was a full murder of crows. I would arrive home in the afternoons to meet the same sight in the condo parking lot. I felt like a sick child whose best friend was standing just within earshot begging him to come out and play.

This evening, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I had to venture out into the woods. I took the little blue chihuahua with me. I felt like a 100 year old man as I wheezed and lumbered toward the edge of the complex. The sky was overcast and the threat of rain was looming, but still I had to be in the midst of the woods. I had to feel that familiar strength that all the elements combined could give. I knew that if I could just spend some time there that healing would come.2012-11-18 22.45.07

I knew that if I could only pass over the threshold into the woods that strength would come. My breath seemed to come more forced as I walked….but I had to keep going. As I reached the small clearing that I have become accustomed to…I could feel lightness in my spirit. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the elements were combining to revive me. I leaned back against a tree. I recalled a conversation that some friends of mine and I had earlier about what kind of tree we would be. I chose the Rowan. A dear friend posted this link:

The Rowan is seen as the tree of life. It is also known as Mountain Ash, Quickbeam, The Witch or Witch Wand. In the British Isles, Rowan is used as a protection against lightning and magical charms of all sorts. In ancient Ireland, the Druids of opposing forces would kindle a fire of rowan and say an incantation over it to summon spirits to take part in the battle. The Rowan is also used for many healing purposes. The “Quickbeam” is the tree of quickening. Another use was in metal divining. In Ireland, a Rowan stake was hammered through a corpse to immobilize the spirit.
OCCULT ASPECTS:
Divination, healing, astral work, protection.

Funny that I should feel a kinship with this tree…I remembered later that my wand, “Raven Light and Dark” is made of Rowan wood. The connection is definitely there. I love the feel of my wand in my hands. It feels like I am ‘home’ no matter what. I rarely go anywhere without her.

As I rested against the tree, I could sense my animal companions, crow and wolf, closeby. Crow was moving around constantly….almost restless. I looked over and saw wolf lying down…resting…tired. Crow was agitated. Crow was pecking at and pushing at wolf. I guess wolf was feeling more of what my physical body was feeling while crow was feeling what the spirit was feeling. It isn’t that wolf couldn’t move….he just chose not to.2012-12-25 22.50.28

I dozed off momentarily and was awakened by rain hitting me in the face. While it was cold and shocking, it was also refreshing. Rain has always been a cleanser for me. I could feel my stress melting in the constant drizzle. The cage door had finally been opened and I felt my heart rush. If you haven’t figured out by now, I tend to bottle my own emotions—a little too tightly at times. Most of the time they come rushing out at record speeds when bottled for too long. I knew this was coming when I went ballistic at work for a bit this morning. After I finished my rant, I felt a bit better, but I knew more was brewing….add to this the hyper-emotionalism that sickness brings to me.

I began to feel the energy of the coming full moon. It stirred in me the excitement of what the New Year has in store. I know this year holds much more growth for me….much more honing of the skills that Lord and Lady have given me. I feel that stronger magick is beginning to swirl around me and in me. I can feel wonderful things coming…I can smell it in the wind and rain. With all of this, I became overwhelmed and could feel the tears begin to flow. These were not tears of sadness, but tears of joy and excitement. Friz lifted his head to mine and licked the salty tears from my cheek. He is such a tender little soul.

I feel a stronger call to nature this year…..the need to join with her and rebuild and fortify. I feel a stronger call for the animals….a need for more communication and protection. As I have said before, I feel a call to simplicity this year…my life will become less cluttered this year. If this takes major changes on my part, so mote it be. I can barely contain the excitement.

As we walked back home, I still felt physically weak, but spiritually uplifted. So many wonderful things in store for me and those around me. Magick is a wonderful thing…..it encompasses all those things that we cannot quite fathom and takes us far beyond.

What magickal workings are in store? Lord and Lady only know. I open myself up and say, “So Mote It Be.”

Blessed Be!2012-12-28 12.44.59

The first photo, of the full moon, was taken by a wonderful, talented friend of mine, Jason Williams

The Day Before the Night Before Christmas

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It is the day before the night before Christmas. The week has been a busy one. So much energy expended in preparation for the Solstice Celebrations, and Yule, and now…Christmas. I was raised celebrating Christmas the way most children do….Santa Claus, reindeer, lighted trees, presents. I still enjoy sharing those traditions with my partner and family.

My partner and I travelled to North Carolina this past weekend to celebrate Christmas with my mom and dad, nieces, grand-nephew and my aunt. For some reason, it seemed that everyone was having trouble getting into the holiday spirit. My mom kept telling me that she needed to finish her shopping….she needed to finish decorating…she needed to…she needed to. I told her to stop. I told her that the only thing she needed to do was spend time with us. Gifts have never been something that were necessary to make my Christmas a happy one. Growing up, we were never well off, so presents were always inexpensive or handmade. My parents always concentrated on the magic that Christmas held. My prize possession, to this day, is a hand-crocheted Santa Claus that my mother made. She would set it next to my bed every Christmas Eve and tell me that he would watch over me and help the real Santa to find his way. Santa always found his way to me…so there was no reason for me not to believe in the magic that the handmade Santa held.

I remember hearing bells outside of the window in the nearby pasture and then moments later noise on the roof. We were always encouraged to believe in those things that you may never actually get to see. I decided that this was my year to pass on that tradition. My little grand-nephew, Dakotah is a beautiful, little blonde, blue-eyed energy ball. You can look into his eyes and see such a wonderful heart….a heart full of fascination….a heart that believes in all the magick that the world can hold. I decided to introduce him to the magick that I have held in my heart for so long.

Yesterday before I started the long drive back to Atlanta, I bundled Dakotah up and took his little hand, and we walked together to the back woods behind the pasture. I wanted to introduce him to the most magickal place I ever knew. As we walked further and further from the the house, we heard something behind us. Dakotah has this little habit when he hears noise. He puts his hand to his ear and whispers, “Sound!” He looked around us and we see this baby goat following us. My dad raises pygmy goats. The babies are no bigger than grown cats. My dad’s goats are overly tame. He works with them the way you would a dog.2012-12-23 13.32.44

I had taken this same little goat with me to the woods the day before, so it wasn’t surprising to me that he would be right behind us today. Dakotah was enthralled with the fact that we had a special guest. He walked slowly with one hand in mine and the other on the little goats head. It was a sight to behold.

We headed toward that clearing that was so familiar to me. I could see the excitement in that little wild child. In the distance, I could see the clearing with the pond. I picked Dakotah up and the little goat walked beside us. Dakotah got excited. I talked about the fairy folk to him and about the Lord and Lady. I talked to him about the horned God. He looked at the little goat and said, “Horns?” I said, “Yes, just like that little goat.” As we sat against a tree…with me leaned against it and him in my lap, he said, “No shoes.” He is so much like his great uncle. I told him that we could dance instead. He so loves to dance. We stood up and danced around the tree….he was laughing at the top of his voice. It was wonderful hearing the woods around that old pond ringing with fresh laughter. His laughter echoed and he stopped, put his hand to his ear and said, “Sound.” I laughed out loud. He apparently thought it was funny too, so he joined me. 2012-12-23 13.41.08

He reminds me so much of myself at his age…..intrigued and mesmerized by everything. Able to see the magick that is swirling around him….I love the magick that children are able to see. It is sad that as people become adults, that they forget, sometimes, how to see the magick around them.

I also watch the way he interacts with animals. With people, he can be a bit rough, but when he is around animals, he is just as tender and gentle as a soul can become. My mom’s chihuahua is petted gently by five tiny fingers. He stands in front of the cage of African Grey, Harry, and respectfully carries on conversation with him. Who would have thought that he would converse with the feather and fur people. He walked beside that baby goat with his hand on his head and you would have thought they were a part of each other. Total silence as they walked side by side.

The one thing that I wanted to share with him this Christmas was not a toy. It wasn’t the loudness and revelry that the holiday brings. I wanted to give him a bit of the magick that I hold dear. I wanted him to experience the wildness that only nature can provide….the stirring that only the Lord and Lady can give….the companionship of the fur people.

He gave me those same gifts.

Blessed Be!6349_10151574832417656_1603280446_n

Walking Hand in Hand with the Ancients

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Today was, at its best, challenging.  Well, let me just be bluntly honest….I was in the pissiest mood I have been in for a long while.  I was over answering phone calls with bitchy folks on the other end, tired of answering questions that had basic common sense answers, tired of dealing with inadequate co-workers.

I set up my mini altar on my desk early on today.  I had some tealights and crystals within reach, but it didn’t seem to be helping my mood.  I needed to vent and I needed to vent badly.  I vented to some friends on Facebook….in private.  I also vented at my roommate when I went home for lunch.  I went back…..I was seething.  Not over anything in particular, but over everything at the same time. I huddled in the corner ignoring everyone around me….then at 3pm I heard a noise outside my window.  I looked up….I recognized that sound.  A familiar caw greeted me as I watched a crow on the grass just outside my window.  I felt a peace pour over me.  I picked up my quartz stone and held it tight.  I kept myself in my corner until time to go home at 4pm.

When I got home, I decided that a trip to the woods was in order.  I needed the solitude.  I needed to be away from people.  I needed time to regroup.  I heard Mama Crow calling to me in the distance.  I harnessed up the little blue chihuahua and we walked slowly toward the woods.  I found my way to a familiar tree.  I felt rather primal…..all the emotions from the day welling up inside me.  I decided I needed to call on wolf energy.  I had one of the amulets I have been making in my pocket.  I pulled it out and started some breathing exercises.  Steadily and rhythmically my breath came.  I pushed myself into a trance-like state.6946_10151562886092656_933734159_n

I called to the ancient spirits around me.  I could feel animal energy moving around.  I could feel the energy of my ancestors…..I cried out loud for the energy of the people….I needed to feel the breath of the Cherokee move around me.  I felt the need to dance in the circle of trees.  I have found that when my heart feels like it is in that dark place, dance motivates my spirit.  As I think about it, it felt as though my heart had gone into hibernation…..almost burying itself….waiting for the light to show itself.  Today, I had to go seek out that light. 

Exhausted from the dance, I rested against the tree.  My mind went back to the summer I spent on the Lakota reservation in South Dakota.  It was a feeling I will never forget.  My grandma and our tribe were mountain folk, woodland people.  This environment was foreign to me, but familiar at the same time.  One afternoon we climbed buttes to pass the time.  As I huffed and puffed up that rocky terrain, I cussed as I would stick my hand against something thorny.  I longed for the familiarity of grassy wooded areas and trees.  One of the men that was with me told me that we all have the same blood running through our veins..just different tribes.  He told me that the same grandmothers and grandfathers that watch over him were walking with me that day.  He reminded me that we were all a part of Wakan Tanka or The Great Mystery.  He picked a handful of wild sage and explained to me the sacredness and the power that the sage held.  We sat on the top of that butte for an hour talking about the power and sacredness that was within all things.  He started to chant…it was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.  I knew his song was Lakota. 

I closed my eyes and basked in the ethereal around me.  The atmosphere was smokey, and for a moment my breath caught in my chest.  After that tiny silver burn eased, I could breathe fully, deeply….taking in the spirit of my surroundings…truly being “inspired.”  My companion took out his lighter and I watched as the leaves of the sage burned and smoldered.  The smell still permeates my nostrils as I sit in silence.  He moved the sage around me in a clockwise motion…still breathing out his sweet song.  It was like nothing I had ever experienced.

Later in the evening, my friend gave me a small hand drum.   I loved the history and the stories he gave me as he presented me with this gift that carried deep traditions and spirit.  It was during the time I spent on the reservation that I grew to appreciate the spirit in all things.  I felt that special bond with the animal spirits.  My friend told me that it was no surprise to him that I felt that closeness.  My penchant for “crow medicine” was something he told me to never take lightly.  Because the crow is the voice of the spirit world…he told me that I must always be diligent to walk in truth.  Truth was never really an issue…it was the tempering that comes with wisdom.  One must learn how to help someone to swallow a medicine that is not necessarily pleasant tasting. Shoving the spoon down their throat forcefully only chokes the individual……I am still learning.

He also taught me how to call on wolf.  Always approach respectfully…in a non-threatening way.  Always remember that wolf is a teacher and is willing to show you something new about yourself and your surroundings.  Wolf energy helps you to focus on relationships  and will help you seek out hidden places.  I call on wolf a lot.  He helps me to find my way when I feel most lost.

As I pulled myself away from the memories of South Dakota, I felt Friz stir in my lap.  He always looks at me as if I have been on a long journey and he is so happy I have returned.  I have always been able to see the piercing glint of wolf in his eyes.  I have tossed my shoes to the side while I was in my dream-like state.  As I stretch I push into the dirt with my toes…it feels natural and fulfilling.  I feel flushed as I rise up off of the carpet of leaves and pine needles…much like I felt on top of the butte that afternoon so long ago.  I thank the spirits and the elements as I ready myself to go home.  Sometimes the best medicine is the medicine of old friends and those who guide us.

I walk hand in hand with the spirit of the Ancients.  They comfort me and guide me.  They call me by name.  They know me better than my closest friend.  They shield me and nourish me.  They are all around me.

Blessed Be!

I Have Loved the Stars…

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I went walking tonight by myself in the dark.   It was about ten o’clock and the dogs were asleep on the bed with their other daddy, the roomie was napping in his bedroom….I found my brain overcrowded.  So many things have happened this week.

I had a strange call from my mom on Tuesday at lunchtime.  She told me that my niece (who I raised) was robbed at gunpoint on Monday night.  She was on her way to her car after work and a strange guy came up behind her.  He forced her into his truck and took her phone, bank card, identification cards…everything in her purse.  He told her that if she told anyone, that he had her information and would come and kill her family.  There was good surveillance footage of the guy and he was caught just a couple of days later.  He is currently in the hospital…..what he did was part of a gang initiation and he was supposed to kill her.  Bless Goddess, that did not happen.

Friday, I heard the news that all those babies and their teachers were killed at Sandy Hook Elementary school in Newtown Connecticut.  Such a tragedy as this should not befall anyone.  Innocence was shattered as horror overtook it from the barrel of a gun.

I have been haunted by a particular quote all week long.  It has drifted in and out of my mind like a beautiful haunting melody.

I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

My niece said it best the other night when I talked to her about what had happened.  She said, “I have always loved people.  I cannot allow this to change that.  I cannot let my fear of what happened take away a large part of what makes me, me.”   My mother told me today that she admires her so.  She said that she is making herself push through…..her hands shake constantly and she moves more calculatedly…but she is showing that she is more powerful than the criminal could ever be.  No survivor of any crime is a victim…no matter what, they are exactly what their strength and power shows….survivors and victors.

If you think about it, we sometimes tend to see ourselves as weak.  We don’t see ourselves as strong as we truly are.  I have to admit, with everything that has happened this week….it would have been very easy to let fear creep into my heart.  It is far to easy to see evil shadows lurking around every corner.  It is important for me to remember, though, that most of the time, those are the shadows of people who are just as afraid as I am. 

I have to admit, tonight was my first venture past my courtyard under the night skies in a week.  It was hard walking past the eyes of neighbors I did not know…wondering what was going on in their minds.  I walked into the wooded area at the edge of the complex…..where I have been so many times before…..I felt the darkness looking menacingly over my shoulder.  I heard a rustling in the leaves and my breath caught in my chest.  I laughed in relief when I realized it was black and white cat.  My guess is that he smelled the sardines in my jacket pocket.  I looked up through the clearing in the trees and got a good look at the stars and the moon.  All I could think about was how many times I have been guided by them.  I remembered the quote again….I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

I began to meditate on the attributes of the Lord and Lady.  How many times they have experienced death and rebirth…..change, cycles.  I have lived my life imbued with the power that they have…..no one can take that power from me.  It doesn’t mean that I act stupidly or throw all common sense to the wind…..but they have given me a power to overcome, to walk in power, to fly above….they have given me magick.  It is that magick that has always been a source of comfort to me.

I took some candles with me into the woods tonight.  I lit one candle for healing, one for peace, one for protection, and one for love.  I prayed to the Lord and Lady to send all of these things to the people of Newtown and to my niece.  As I sat with a purring black and white fae cat in my lap, I listened to the whispers of the wind and felt the glow of the moon and stars radiating against my skin.  I knew the Lord and Lady heard me.  I can feel the magick welling up inside of me.

The events of this week tried to stir fear, confusion…..but the Lord and Lady turned it into a week of power, strength and some of the most amazing magick.

Healing stir, protection, power

I call on you in this magick hour.

Light inside the darkest places

Fear is gone and will leave no traces.

In perfect love and perfect peace

Nightmares and terror now will cease.

By Water, Earth, Air and Fire

God and Goddess hear my heart’s desire.

By all that’s good, go forth from me

As I will, so mote it be!

Blessed Be, y’all!magick

The Simpler Ways

winter sunrise

As I sit here writing this post tonight, it is really difficult believing that Yule is upon us…..Atlanta is not known for its winter-like conditions. Today was warm and pleasant out. Nothing would have led anyone to believe that winter was weaving its magick around us.

I spent the day at the mall with my partner Christmas shopping. He is not pagan, so we celebrate the holidays with many different traditions woven together. The mall during the holidays has got to be my least favorite place to be. Contrary to popular belief, people do not seem to get nicer….but you see impatient, rude, ill-behaved folks growling and spitting at the sales associates and each other. This is why I decided that, for myself, this year needed to take on simpler ways.

We put up the tree the day after Thanksgiving. This is a way for us to bring the outside in. We adorn the buffet and anything that doesn’t move in greenery. This year, we decided that the lights on the tree needed to be reminiscent of our childhood. We incorporated the large colored lights in amongst white lights into the decorations. The decorations essentially became anything that would reflect light. Each year I take the time to explain to those in our household that Winter Solstice and Yule are celebrations to welcome back the light into our homes and lives. As the tree glimmers against the darkness outside, it is such a magickal feeling telling the stories of the Oak King and the Holly King and the coming forth of the Horned One. With the emergence of the Horned One, comes the rebirth of the Sun.tree

This year, my promise to myself was to avoid getting so wrapped up in the doing, doing, doing and just to enjoy the moments around me. To embrace the “now,” so to speak. I have decided that the gifts that I give will be hand-made or activity gifts…..things that will get us out into nature.

One of the gifts that I will be giving my partner is a romantic couples horseback ride that ends in a pastoral setting with wine. For those friends closest to me in the Craft, I will be making amulets that carry Wolf energy and the energy of the Horned One. This year is about bringing nature and energies together to bless those I love. 379507_10150593745917656_631665278_nSanta, to me, represents all that is good in human nature. He reminds me that somewhere deep inside people is a desire to help and guide others. He encompasses those traits that I see in Lord and Lady, and reminds me that we need to take care of those who need it….especially the animals. This time of year is a time of commitment for the present and for the New Year for our household…..always making sure that we give to nature and to those beings in nature. The holidays are always for hanging suet and making sure that there is food and warmth for those that need it. The feral cats around here get boxes with blankets placed inside just outside the courtyard.

I guess the biggest promise I have made in this holiday season is to give more of me. I realize that this can sound a little egotistical….but what I mean is that I choose to be actively present with those I am around. This includes the elementals and the Lord and Lady and all the animal spirits. I got a wild lesson from the fae this weekend. I let myself get a bit too busy and I haven’t talked to them as much in the past month. On Friday night, my roommates keys disappeared. We tore the house apart. They were nowhere to be found. We looked in most places two and three times. A friend suggested it was the fae….it made me think. Another said that they were under a stack of mail…this made me wonder. Yesterday…late afternoon, he found his keys hidden under a stack of mail that we had looked under and through several times. So last night, late, I went and spent some time with the fae in the courtyard. I sang and listened as I heard the whispers in the breeze…watched the leaves rustle.

As we get closer to Yule, I tap deep into myself…..I pull on the energies of those who move deep inside my spirit. The wolf, who is a path finder, a bringer of new ideas returning to the people to deliver teachings and to allow us to learn and participate in knowing our heritage and spiritual path, sharing good medicine. There is Crow who is the keeper of magick and those things sacred and is the messenger. Hawk brings foresight and perspective. Last but not least is Owl…who is all seeing and holds wisdom.

These are the things I long to carry into the new year and wish that I could impart to you. I would love to take away the regret and hurts of the past and the anxiety and fear of the future and teach you to hold onto the magick that you have in your hands right now….in this moment. To show you the spirit of the Goddess in you. To walk hand in hand with the fae and the elements and to be able to dance with the moon.

When I lived on the farm, life was very basic. You did what was needed when it was needed. When I moved to the city, I was a bit overwhelmed. Stress was introduced. It takes work on a daily basis to reconnect with nature and elementals and animal spirits. I am learning, thanks to those mentioned and the hands of the Lord and Lady, to enjoy and be present with them. The gifts they have given me for Yule is teaching me to be….just be. It can be that simple.

Blessed Yule!379859_10150582335272656_1778153051_n

Finding Your Way Through the Dark

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I told you all in my last post about the dream I had where I ventured into the woods with Wolf and Crow (actually several birds in one). In that dream, I found myself inside a cottage or hovel deep into the woods. There was a fire in the fireplace and anything I could imagine for potion making.

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I have found myself using this place as my “happy place,” so to speak, this week. I don’t know if it is because this place came to me in a dream, but it has been extremely easy to just close my eyes and visualize myself next to the fire. I also found myself, when stress came into play, closing my eyes briefly….only to find myself standing at the table putting the ingredients together for the most powerful concoctions. This week taught me a lot about visualization and intent.

I found that I could put myself in a place that relaxed me and comforted me…just by closing my eyes for a moment and thinking about the place I longed for….I know that for many people this sounds like a form of escapism. I say bull crap. Sometimes the most magickal thing we can do is mentally remove ourselves from a situation to keep from choking the living shit out of someone. I found, at work, that it actually helped to diffuse the situation. I did not react to a negative behavior and therefore the person pitching the hissy-fit calmed down.

I love the place that I live. I have worked very hard to make it comfortable and inviting. To build an open but enveloping cottage-style experience from the moment you walk through the door to the moment you leave covered in cat hair. It is very evident that a witch lives here. My smaller cauldron is in the middle of my buffet and it is flanked on the left by my huge cauldron. The buffet is loaded down with crystal points and stones and different magickal items that friends have sent me. My gryphon statue stands regally to the right side next to my carved candlesticks. My big gold framed mirror (which I got for a steal at Goodwill) hangs proudly over the buffet. I love that mirror. It depicts pastoral scenes with stags and doe all through. I love the tribute that it pays to The Horned One. The antique lamp reflected from below pays tribute to my ancestors. I enjoy the fact that my living room alone is a call to the “witchy-ness” that lives within me.

cauldron

It is, however, wonderful to have a place that calls to me most every night when I lie down. As I drift off to sleep, I do my meditation and breathing work. I visualize where I want my dreams to take me…as I fade into the world of dreams, I find myself walking down that quiet forest path. Again, I have two friends at my side….Wolf and Crow (who sometimes decides she wants to be an owl or hawk….I think based on my needs at the time). We walk slowly down a makeshift path….we look into the trees above and all around…then we see it….the little vine and grass covered dwelling next to a pond. I can hear the whispers of the ancients as I reach for the door handle. A familiar voice whispers coursely into my ear, “It’s time.” I recognize it immediately. It is the voice of Hekate. I walk toward the hearth…the fire is already burning. This time there is a mirror hanging in the corner next to a bouquet of drying lavender. I look into the mirror and am completely shocked…..I am older…substantially older. My long white beard lays softly against my robe. The laugh lines are deeper than they have ever been….and I know that they are laugh lines….these are lines brought on by joy and happy times. I have started the potion making. Wolf lies down by the fire and Crow perches on the chair. Looking at them relaxes me. Wolf has eyes like that little blue chihuhua back home…they are so inquisitive. I always end up relaxing by the fire with Wolf asleep with his head on my knee and Crow asleep next to or on my shoulder. I always wake up at home in my own bed.

wolf and raven

Just as it was turning dark this evening, I took that little blue chihuahua for a walk in the woods. The dreams I have been having are so vivid that I find myself searching for that little cottage. In the distance, I know I hear Mama Crow. I turned to my right to see if wolf was beside me. It made me think…..”You know, I love being a witch!” Because of the spiritual path I chose, I have access to all the elements. They talk to me and I talk to them. I get to commune with some of the most fantastical animal spirits and familiars that one could ever imagine. I get to go places through visualization and astral travel that many people never get to experience. Hell, I even get to shape-shift on occasion.

As it got darker, a humid deep fog drifted in through those woods. It was magickal watching the light and dark play through the mists at the same time. Friz stuck his nose straight up in the air to take a deep whiff of what was happening. You could almost hear the fae singing softly. It’s funny, I have been going into those woods for a few weeks now and my biggest fear was getting lost. Who would have ever known that I would find myself waiting right there.

Blessed Be!

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This

dreams_don__t_turn_to_dust_by_alexsky0-d3hd56c

The past couple of weeks has been a whirlwind for me.  I have been in the process of preparing for a charity show that I was performing in.  Everything else in my life took a backseat.  I mean everything.  I sang my way through life oblivious to everything else around me.  I was immersed in only this….obsessed with making sure all was done to the best of my ability.  I haven’t felt that type of energy since my days in the theater.  I look back, and honestly the past couple of weeks are a blur in my memory.  The only things that come to the front of my mind are the dreams I have had in that two week period.

I have always had vivid dreams….I dream in color and, most of the time, what I am dealing with in life manifests itself in my dreams.  My dreams of late have been unique, to say the least.  The most prominent dreams of the past couple of weeks involve me lost in the woods.  I am accompanied always by wolf and some bird, whether it be owl, or crow, or hawk.  In the dream, I end up at an earth covered, green cottage by water.  It has one door and one window.  Inside is everything that I could ever think of needing for potions and spells and all manner of sorcery.  Wolf watches me mindfully by the fire and the bird of the night perches on a chair or the table that I work on.  As I work on the magick in front of me, there is no question about what ingredient or word comes next.  I am going about everything I do with a fervor and a purpose.

In this dream, I see all manner of energy floating around me.  It seems to be there for the taking.  All I have to do is reach out.  Different colors represent different energies and I know which color is what.  Blue is for healing, green for growth, red for passion, yellow for happiness, orange for courage, and purple for knowledge…..I walk through the room trying to grasp some of each color of energy only for it to swirl out of reach.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Wolf.  The energy is coming to him. Each color encircles his head and he closes his eyes and inhales…..each one wisps into his nostrils and I watch as his eyes light up with the power of each color.  I look to the chair or table and notice that the same thing is happening with the bird.  I am working so hard and can’t even catch a smidgeon of the energy…..they do nothing, it seems, and it comes to them.  I sit down in a rocking chair beside the fireplace.  I am completely exhausted.  Wolf sits beside me and puts his head on my knee.  The bird sits on the chair top beside my head.  We all go to sleep.  I can feel the energy swirling in circles around me.  As I breathe deeply, I can feel each color of energy being inhaled.  I can feel them taking root inside.  I decide that I want to stay in this dwelling.  Everything I need as far as Magick is right there.  I get up and begin potion-making again….Wolf settles again in front of the fire and the bird flies toward the table…I wake up.

I realized looking back at this dream today, that it was mirroring everything that I have been dealing with over the past couple of weeks.  The bustle of life was evident….as was the premise of me “chasing my tail.”  It seems that over and over again this week that the thought of “animals having great empathic abilities” has bombarded me.  I have noticed that as my activity has gotten more fervent, that the animals in the house have become more anxious.  There have been no trips to the pond or the woods this week for me and Friz…only short trips outside to pee so that I could rush back into whatever was consuming me.  He stood at my feet begging me to sit down for just a moment….long enough for him to lie down on my lap and doze off.  It didn’t happen.

I have all this energy now that I don’t know what to do with.  The weight loss and change in habits have caused me to become fidgety with energy….not completely sure how to handle it.  I am feeling a call to meditation.  I need to slow down.  I need simplicity.  I need to find that dwelling place where I feel completely at ease.  I know where everything is, the right words, and I know what ingredients it takes….but I have forgotten the most important thing….the intent.  My intent is to be one with Lord and Lady….to take time and spend time in nature.  Last year at this time I gave a friend of mine some advice that I need to heed.  I told her to “put her hands in the dirt,”  to feel the earth energy, the grounding.  I have forgotten that I need grounding every day.  Animal energy is that of grounding….earth energy.  Wolf is a pathfinder and a teacher in many native traditions.  Wolf also teaches balance.  The crow is the “keeper of secrets or mysteries.” He brings transformation of the inner self. Hawk brings illumination of the past, present, and future. Owl brings vision of the situations at hand.

Even when I was too “busy” to see any of this while wide awake.  Goddess knew I needed to hear this message.  She sent messengers that she knew I would listen to and put me in surroundings where I would be open to hearing what she said.

Tonight before I wrote this, Friz and I went to the pond….we sat for a bit.  We also went to the woods.  We sat again.  I am learning slowly and surely that I am not a human doing….I am a human being.  Sometimes all that is required is to be.  The phrase is not “Blessed Do.”  It is in fact, “Blessed Be.”

If we could only take a lesson from our animal friends and familiars.  They live in the moment….not what is happening tomorrow….not what happened yesterday.  They envelop the energy around them as it happens….they don’t try to “catch it.”

My promise to myself this holiday season is simple:  Simplicity,  Live in the moment, and just Be.

Blessed Be!380798_10151538882172656_1102113718_n