Slipping Through the Open Gate….or Taking Off the Harness and Living the Untamed Life

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Now y’all haven’t heard me talk about our little Bella much.  She is the “wild girl” in our little pack here.  I often let y’all in on Friz’s life and how much he tends to be like me in nature and all the warm fuzzy stuff that he does.  Well….truth be told, Bella is more like that part of me that not everyone gets to see.  She lives life for Bella and Bella alone.  If she wants it, she takes it.  If she wants out, she goes.  If you are in the place she wants to be….you move.  If Bella is a reincarnation of anyone from history, it would have been one of the Egyptian queens or one of those strong women that made history by being just a little naughty.

I love Bella to death…but she can be challenging at times.  She has to be watched like a hawk.  She is the dog that will eat something just because she wanted to know what it tastes like…whether it was edible or not.  Bella takes life by storm and lives every moment like a bat out of hell. 

All of this being said….we have to section the house off with baby gates.  It keeps Bella safe from Bella.  She is on a restricted diet, but one of her guilty pleasures is waiting for my partner to absent-mindedly leave the gate that has access to the cat food open.  So many times I have caught Bella slowly sneaking toward the opening and closer to the cat food…her mouth open in the anticipation of getting a tasty little forbidden morsel.  When she hears “Bella, NO!!” escape your lips, she looks up at you defiantly and in a huff she tromps away.  Bella is determined that it is not she who has been domesticated in this household….and that we are but her minions.  How dare we put restrictions on her life and tell her what she can and cannot do.Photo Oct 13, 6 23 03 PM (1)

So, with all that being said,  I decided to take Bella on an excursion this morning.  We went to the pond.  I put on her little pink fleece jacket….it was bitter cold out and the little lady does like her comfort.  Before I could even get her harness on, she bolted out the door at full force and then on out the gate.  Thankfully it was early, so there was no danger of cars pulling in and out.  As I went outside of the gate calling her name, I looked down to the side and there she sat, wagging her stubby little butt, staring up at me as if to ask, “What took you so long.”  Hmmmmm, this one is too smart for her own good.

I suited her up in her harness and we walked toward the pond.  Her ears were swaying back and forth as she did her little bounce walk.  You could see it in the way she walked…she was going on an adventure….with or without me.  When we got to the pond, I sat down under my friend Oak and started to relax into my routine.  Well, with Bella, there is no routine.  She goes at full tilt.  She wanted to be up and moving.  I decided to try a little experiment (I would not suggest doing this if you don’t know your dog beyond knowing.  I know, for a fact, that Bella will never go too far from me.  She may run, she may dart…but she will stop at a certain point.  This has been proven at the dog park.  She won’t let me get beyond a certain earshot or line of vision.)  I took the leash off of Bella’s harness.  She danced, she leapt, she ran in circles….and she explored.  She sniffed everything.  Every few minutes, she would check back in with me or bring me some odd thing that she had unearthed or pulled out of a patch of weeds.  I had to laugh as I watched this wild child at play.  Hurricane Bella was a force to be reckoned with. 

It made me think….how many times do I sit around and wait for somebody to leave the gate open, or for that matter, take off the harness of day-to-day issues before I run around free of cares and all that burdens me.  I didn’t realize it until this morning, but food was a harness that was holding me back.  It wasn’t until I began my healthier lifestyle choices and watched the fat come off that I started feeling more energetic…that I was able to dance under the moon and not get winded.  I watched that little weiner dog do everything she could on impulse this morning.  I had to admit to myself that my life is too planned.  I can give you a schedule for everything I do….including rituals and playtime. 

I can see the gate opened….right there at the edge of my pasture.  I feel that it is time for me to make a run for it.  I know that right outside of it lies spontaneity and freedom.  It has seemed lately that my brain has felt way too cloudy.  Work hasn’t been hard or stressful for me…it has just been way too busy.  Homelife hasn’t been tense or out of control…it has just been too busy.  I have got to spend more time outside of that gate…unharnessed and ready to laugh and play and just be joyful.  I have all the elements around me that allow for that.  I have a wonderful partner….really great friends….incredible animals who encourage me every day to tap into that part of me that is just as wild as they can be. 

We tend to forget that life today can keep us scheduled to death.  Always doing something that is required of us.  Sometimes we just have to do something because we want to….just because it was birthed into us at the beginning of the age.

That gate is open.  You better run…..NOW!!

Blessed Be!

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Here Comes the Sun….

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I woke up this morning with a craving for sunshine.  It was a consuming feeling that overtook me the moment I lurched from the bed.  For the past two weeks, it seems that it has been overcast and dreary and rainy here.  Now, I know that sometimes those conditions come with the winter season, but I also know that I need to feel that lightness that comes with a morning walk under a misty sunrise in the south.

Thankfully, I was rewarded, when I looked out the window.  The sun was just beginning to come up over the courtyard wall.  I hurriedly fed Friz and harnessed up that little blue chihuahua and made a mad dash for the gate. Poor little guy’s head must have been spinning, because he looked at me like an animal caught in headlights.

It is really funny.  A friend had posted on his Facebook. wall wanting to know if you considered yourself a Sunrise or a Sunset type of person.  I have always strongly identified myself with the twilight hours and the moon.  Then again, I have always had a strong love for the sun. 

Most of my treasured memories center around a wonderful strong morning or afternoon sun.  I remember vividly going fishing with my best friend on a coolish spring morning while the sun slowly burned the dew off of the grass.  I remember going camping at the beach with my mom and dad as a kid and my dad getting me up early to watch the sunrise over the ocean.  Even memories of home…being greeted by the sun as I walked out the back door toward the chicken coop and the goat pasture.  I used to watch the baby goats dance and jump in the rays of the sun as I put their food out.

This morning, as Friz and I moved through the gate into the glorious light of the sun….I felt a transformation in my spirit.  I could feel that sunshine warming me up from the inside out.  It is also so funny watching that little blue chihuahua sometimes…..it is so evident that he mirrors so much of me.  When he felt that sun on his face, he leaned into it.  He closed his eyes and raised his little face up and it was like he was breathing in the sun.  Then the little booger got really playful.  I decided that this would be a good day for a trip to the pond.  The woods are wonderful, but the sun is masked by the canopy of trees above and I felt that Friz and I both were craving more sun-time.

As we started that familiar trek, I looked down beside one of the cars outside the courtyard and there stood black and white cat.  He is getting braver and braver. Now he is within 10 feet of our condo.  Hmmm…wouldn’t surprise me to see him curled up in the courtyard one morning.  I will have to make him up a sleeping box under the patio porch.  As this thought plays across my brain, the motley crew of a little blue chihuahua, a black and white cat, and a middle aged witch in his cloak head out on an adventure by the pond.

When we arrive, you can smell the sunshine as it caresses the blades of grass.  I leaned against that old oak and could hear it asking me where I had been.  My senses seemed to super sensitive this morning.  The smells, the sounds, the sights all around me were much more vivid and alive.  As I waited for Friz and Black and White Cat to make themselves comfortable in my lap, I quietly thanked Brigid for the warmth and beauty of the fire of the sun…for the blaze that I could feel her stirring in my own spirit.  I thanked Cernunnos for keeping that wild part of me alive that I might experience newly the power of outdoors and the strength of the animals.

I sat and just listened for the longest time.  I heard Mama Crow, of course.  It seemed as though I was getting another lecture.  Maybe this time it was for being away from the pond as long as I have.  I looked overhead and saw four Canadian geese flying.  That unmistakeable honk from the lead goose and the rear goose were penetrating the morning sky.  As I looked around, I could see the beginnings of daffodils springing up.  Here in Georgia, they show there leaf shoots in late January and early February…which still amazes me.855587-shoots-of-spring-flowers-daffodils-in-early-spring-garden

As I leaned against my friend Oak, I could feel the sun’s rays warming me from head to toe.  I watched as it glistened on the coats of Friz and Black and White.  I put my hand on their backs thinking I could feel the warmth of the sun through them.  I did, however, feel the peace of sleep and the warmth of their bodies absorbing that sun-strength.  I watched as a sleepy yawn escaped Friz and Black and White stretched so long that he just about fell off my lap.  As he raced toward righting himself and looking at me with his, “You did not just see that” look, we all began our slow walk back to the condo.  Of course, Black and White disappeared the way he always does just shy of the condo….probably to do his morning hunt (even though he did just devour a half a can of cat food).  What can I say, we like our food around here.

As I opened the condo door, I could see one more creature who was craving the sun this morning.  Merlin.  He sat on the edge of the end table chattering away through the window.  I have always said that when he does that, he is talking to the fairies.  He looked at me with eyes pinned by the sunlight, said his customary “Merrrp” in greeting and went right back to discussing what he needed to with the fae.  Of course, all the picture frames and anything else that was in his way was lying down on the table.  I just decided to clear the space for him…after all, we all deserve to have our place in the sun.2013-01-20 09.27.08

Blessed Be!

Nights Wide Awake with the Fae

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Let me start this post by saying that I dearly love fae. These wonderful little elementals are such a carefree, mischievous part of the magickal kingdom.  I have spent many an afternoon and evening playing and working with these truly remarkable beings.  I am always careful to be mannerly towards them and I always leave an offering of milk, honey and cake after incorporating them into my magick.  I even have an elder tree (it is confined to a pot, otherwise it would overtake the area as a hedgerow) in my courtyard as an offering and dwelling place for them.

I adore the fae so much, that I forget sometimes that you must work with them with care.  Always taking a step back, sometimes keeping them at arms length.  It is far too easy to get swept up in the magick that they pour out before you.  As I write this, I remember stories that my Irish great-grandfather used to tell me about the leprechauns or ‘little people’ of dear old Eire.  He would tell me stories of men who would drink with them and chase after them….only to be led to the fairy mound and never be heard from again.

Now, he never presented them as evil or mean….just full of frivolity and mischief.  It was in getting caught up in their joy and their lust for drink that humans would forget themselves and those around them and wander into the world of the fae that sparkled and glittered with every new step.  Each breath taken would always seem like the first.  Once a part of that world, it was easy to forget the mundane existence that was left behind and desire for life of the fae would overtake them.fae_forest_by_imagineapplescruffs-d319m6z

Last weekend, I had the luxury of spending time in the woods here…..a lot of time in the woods.  A couple of afternoons, I had fallen asleep in those woods…curled up underneath the trees that had become a comfort to me and nestled in amongst the dead leaves that covered the floor of the woods.  I had also forgotten that the fae can be a bit like ‘ticks’ as a friend reminded me. LOL!!  They can attach themselves to you and affect many different areas.  Unfortunately for me, the area affected was sleep.  Whenever I would try to rest at night, I would hear music or windchimes (knowing the air was still and my windchimes were put up for the winter) and I would smell strong floral smells.  I love the smell of honeysuckles and that scent wafted through my brain and nostrils all week long (unfortunately all of this combined has me going on about 30 minutes of sleep for the week).

The Morrigan is one of the goddesses I work with regularly and thank goodness she watches out for me.  I was discussing some things with a friend this evening and she reminded me that the Morrigan was indeed warning me today to not have my head buried in the garden, so to speak.  I came home for lunch and there were crows everywhere in and around the courtyard.  They were in the trees having a fit.  They were cawing non-stop and were not flying away as I got close….they were, however, restless.  I took a video of them and in the midst of not being able to catch most of them on camera, you can still hear the ruckus.2013-01-18 11.53.55-2

Lady Morrigan was warning me that although I wanted to be part of the fae world, that I must set boundaries.  I must decide what I will and won’t do or allow.  I sat in the courtyard tonight and had a long talk with my little elemental friends.  I explained that while spending time with them is wonderful and fun, I have got to sleep.  I told them that they could play as they want in the courtyard, but needed to be invited inside.  I had to explain that the animals inside needed their calm time too.  I look forward to a long and restful sleep tonight.

Earlier in the week, during an online search, I found a wonderful little ball-jointed sprite doll.  I immediately fell in love with it and ordered it.  It is called a realpuki soso doll from Korea.  It brings to mind all that is wonderful about the fae and I will enjoy having it nearby whenever I need a smile or a giggle.2013-01-12 20.05.00

Blessed Be!

Riding the Brakes and Rubbernecking

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Over the past few days, it has been raining off and on here in Atlanta.  I am not fond of driving in Atlanta traffic in the rain.  Wait….that may be a tad understated….I loathe driving in Atlanta traffic in the rain. 

I am not one that speeds.  I typically drive within the speed limit…but that is just it.  I drive.  Here in Atlanta, when it rains, most of the population ride their brakes.  On the way to work this morning, it did not matter which lane I got in, the person in front of me rode their brakes the whole way…then when someone rearended another brake-rider, traffic came to a dead halt so that every car passing could rubberneck.  I never understood that either.  It isn’t like you really know that person or really intend to stop and help. 

Of course, this got my brain reeling.  How often, in our own lives, do we “ride the brakes?”  We let fear of the unknown or the opinions of other people dictate how we live our lives.  Personally, it would be really easy, as a witch, for me to live my life that way.  I mean, who wants to deal with people thinking that you are just a few bricks shy of a load because you “stir energy,” or “believe in fairies?”  On a daily basis I deal with raised eyebrows and giggles when I don’t behave the way that the world around me does.

I remember when I “came out of the broom closet” to my partner.  I just knew that he was going to laugh at my spiritual practices or he was going to lump me in the category of the Sanderson Sisters from Hocus Pocus.  The relief that flooded over me when he told me that he was fine with whatever I believed or did because it was what made me, me.  Fear had tried to put the Craft on the backburner, but truth made the magick flourish.

Riding the brakes can go another direction also…in today’s society, it is far too easy to become buried by day to day activities and troubles.  I am as guilty of this as the next person.  Back in October, I was told by my doctor to decrease my stress….yeah, ok, right.  I live with two gay men who apparently know no other name in the household when it comes to resolving issues.  I have four pets…end of that sentence.  I have a job that changes constantly with more and more requirements each week….and even with the lifestyle change that I have undertaken, I am obese. 

Many days and nights, it takes everything I have just to spend a few minutes in meditation or in the great outdoors.  I put my foot through the floor board to try to get the world to slow down around me.  If only my memory weren’t too short.  If only I could remember that it is in the meditation and in the time outdoors that I am renewed.  If I could just stop twisting my neck out of joint trying to see what everybody around me was doing and concentrate on what is going on right in front of me there might be a better flow.537393_193957130744475_2044726616_n

I read the above quote on Facebook a couple of weeks ago and it struck me as profound.  If you think about it, when you feel disheartened, dispirited and depressed….that is when you need your spirit stirred the most.  Dancing gets your circulation going.  When you put your whole self into the dance…when you feel it down to the soles of your feet…it brings life back to the body.  If you are like me, when you sing, it comes from the deepest part of your being.  Singing moves my spirit like nothing else…that is when raw emotion touches every fiber of my heart.  Stories….I love a good Fairytale.  It makes the brain race forward and the imagination take you on exciting journeys.  Silence helps us to feel ourselves….truly feel who we are.  It allows us to touch our own souls.

I will add one more to this list.  Make a little magick.  This doesn’t have to be some elaborate ritual.  Just do something.  For the kitchen witch it may be as simple as whipping up a delicious treat, for the craft witch making something cute and simple, for the garden witch digging in the dirt might do it.  Remember….it is in the intention.  If you do something with the knowledge and intent that what you are doing is magickal…..the worlds will open up before you!  Trust me….I have been fortunate enough to be shown the magick in a simple walk.  If you see yourself as ordinary, you will be ordinary.  If you see yourself as the wonderful witch, wizard, or alchemist you are….then guess what??  You will see magick unfold right before your eyes.  After all, believing is seeing.2012-08-24 14.51.02

I have had to think today about what makes me put on the brakes and stare out at what others have crashed into.  So many things try to distract me.  It is time for me to lose the distractions, put my foot on the gas and move forward….Can I help it if magick sparkles fly out of the tailpipe?

Blessed Be!

Epona: Dancing Through the Stables and Riding Toward the Sunrise

epona2Epona: “Divine Horse”; “The Great Mare”; Goddess of horses; Mother Goddess. Fertility, maternity, protectress of horses, horse-breeding, prosperity, dogs, healing springs, crops.

She is a horse goddess with fertility connotations. A popular equestrian goddess closely allied with the Celtic trade in, and domestic use of, horses. Concerned with healing, and with the fertility of domestic animals.  She is arguably the only Celtic goddess to have been worshipped in Rome itself and her popularity was spread throughout the regions of Roman occupation.

Epona is typically with mares and foals, usually riding sidesaddle or merely in association with horses. She also holds cornucopiae sheaves of grain and other fruits suggesting an ancillary role as a vegetation goddess. Epona is also, on occasion, linked with dogs and birds. 
 

Last night, I went line dancing for the first time in eight years.  I have to admit, it stirred some wonderful memories.  As I shuffled and glided across the dancefloor, I was taken back to a time in my life when cares were few and far between. 

Growing up on a farm, you often helped other farmers during the spring and summer.  I have worked pig farms, chicken farms, dairies….but one of my favorite was spent helping a neighboring horse farm.  It was one of the first times I ever got a glimpse of the true magick and power inside of an animal.

I have to confess before I get too far in that I had never really heard of the Goddess Epona until I was introduced to her by a friend this past year.  This friend embodies everything that a goddess to the equine population should….she is beautiful, strong, graceful, and quite a bit of a spitfire.  Her passion for Epona started something ruminating in me.  I had to find out more about her.  I had to know this Goddess who showed herself so evidently in my friends love and passion for horses.

As I studied and meditated, I was often drawn backward in time to my own contact and work with some beautiful animals.  My first contact was with a horse named Coal.  Coal was, of course, jet black.  He was the horse I learned to ride on.  My friend, Nancy, lived on a farm in South Carolina.  I was very young and she was very persistent that I should learn to ride a horse.  Coal seemed to me to be the biggest horse I had ever seen.  She also had a Belgian Shepherd name Beatrice.  For some reason, Beatrice did not like anything about me.  It was her goal to make sure I didn’t make it off that farm alive.

I had finally given in to learning to ride Coal on an overcast Sunday afternoon.  Beatrice was put into the house to keep her away from me.  I was taught the correct posture for riding and how to ‘steer’ Coal.  He was so gentle.  It was like he knew what I wanted and needed before I did.  As we rode, I could hear Beatrice barking wildly in the background.  I was fine as long as that barking stayed in the distance.

We had been riding for about 45 minutes and were working our way around the horse ring when suddenly Coal came to a dead halt.  I had a weird feeling in my gut when I heard Beatrice barking five feet in front of us.  She snarled and growled and I saw my friend’s sister running toward us.  Beatrice had broken a window to get to us.  As scared shitless as I was, I remember hoping that she hadn’t hurt herself leaping through the window. 

Coal never reacted to Beatrice at all.  If she started toward us, he would turn as if to initiate a body block.  He never bothered to try to kick her.  He never got spooked.  I look back and think that I could not have had a better teacher in that first riding session.  It is because of him that I continued to learn.  He became a trusted friend over the years, and as I think back, I can still feel the sadness that I felt the day I watched him ride into the summerlands with Epona guiding him.

I also remember the summers of rodeos and time with the horses.  I know that many people do not like rodeos.  I absolutely love them.  It was on the rodeo circuit that I got to see the true human/equine bond.  Some of those men and women treat their horses better than they treat most other humans.  It was not unusual to walk around and see a cowboy or cowgirl conversing with their horse…and to watch the communication of the horse with the rider.  You haven’t experienced the power of the Goddess until you have looked into the eyes of a horse.  You can see fire and passion, but you can also see strength and peace.  You look at him and you know that he honestly had the strength and power to crush you, but the control to keep himself from doing that.  Wild-Horses-Harvest

This one thought came in an epiphany…..it is in my time with horses that I did learn control…it was in the teaching I received while learning to ride….it wasn’t so much about learning to control the horse…it was about learning to control myself.  Isn’t that the way it is about most things in life.  It isn’t about the situation, but it is about how you handle it.  It is in reigning in a horse that we learn to reign ourself in.  Horses mirror us in so many ways.  That wild part of us longs to go at full tilt.  We push and we push until we are forced by our own body to relax.  The reigns of everyday life move us left and right into decisions and circumstances, but that wild part still lies underneath….that fire.

I have heard the phrase used regarding “breaking a horse.”  Most horse trainers that I know would disagree with this terminology.  It once referred to breaking the horses spirit.  Putting that horse under your control.  It is not about “breaking the spirit” at all, but learning to work with that spirit. It is that same spirit in the animal that excites us.  It is that spirit we long for when we climb on and feel the motion of that magnificent being beneath us.

For Christmas this year, I gave my partner a romantic horseback riding afternoon ending in wine in a pastoral setting.  Just me, him and the horses.  I have longed for and needed that contact with these magnificent creatures.  I can feel Lady Epona stirring that wildness and calm all at the same time.

When stress seems to take over, I go back to a vacation 10 years ago in the Outer Banks of North Carolina.  I was allowed a very special gift.  I got to watch the wild horses on the island run.  There is nothing quite so spectacular as seeing a creature unburdened by the cares of the world run at full tilt racing the wind.

Lady Epona, help me to leave the cares and stresses of day to day living behind and feel the wind caressing my cheek as I call on your strength.

Blessed Be!Alone-a24173267[2]

Fanning the Flame of Brigid

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Brigid is the Celtic triple goddess ruling healing, poetry, and smithcraft. She is one of the great mothers of the Celts. Brigid is best known for her associations with healing, poetry, and smithcraft. As a healing goddess, she governs childbirth and the birthing time.  As a goddess of poetry, she governs not only the inspiration and writing of poetry, but also divination and prophecy. As a goddess of smithcraft, she governs the forge’s fire. It is for these reasons that she is considered the “Bright Goddess” and is associated with the element of fire. In all her forms, she brings to one inspiration (a fire quality) and provides the spark for motivation. She is also the goddess of the hearth-fire, the fire of the home, since she contains the mother and fire aspects.

The festival of Imbolc on February 1 is dedicated to Brigid. Imbolc is associated with the lactation of ewes (Imbolc meaning “in the belly” and Oimelc meaning “ewe’s milk”) and is one of the four major Celtic festivals (Samhain, Imbolc, Beltane, and Lughnasadh also known as the greater Sabbats).

Over this past week I was encouraged, in preparation for Imbolc, to do a detailed study of Brigid.  I have to admit that my knowledge of her was a basic one.  I had only ever known her as the Goddess of the hearth fire.  In my mind, I guess I always pictured her as the quiet little house-witch ever-diligently tending the fire of the hearth where sustenance was being prepared as a strengthener for that weary witch who called on her.  Let me just say…I was so wrong.  I guess I should have honestly known better.  I have never known the Celts to have “settled in and comfortable” goddesses. The ones I have studied in the past have all been powerful, strong battle-strong goddesses.  I ask the forgiveness of the Lady Brigid for my desperate misinterpretation of her.hearth_and_hound_2_by_beautifuldragon322-d4mbez6

As I began studying, the first aspect of Brigid to show itself was the healing goddess.  It was not surprising that birth and the anticipation of the birthing time came forth.  As we come into Imbolc, it is in anticipation and preparation of spring.  It is shortly after this Sabbat that we begin to see the tell-tale signs that spring is around the corner.  Hibernation ends in February and March for those animals that do and they begin making babies.  It was always such a wonderful time in the spring on the farm when all the animals would start having little ones.  I remember vividly helping many a mama goat deliver twins or listening as the first faint peeps could be heard under the setting hens.  All of these memories stirred helped me to see Brigid as a goddess of beginnings.  As the darkness of winter starts to fade, she brings the light of new possibilities.  It is in that time that we come out of our own darkness…blinking constantly as we adjust to the sunlight of a new day blazing down on us, finally absorbing the warmth that floods us with hope.

This led me to the second aspect of her personality: Poetry.  This took me to a study of the word.  Back in my time as a minister, I studied Greek and Hebrew…..for far too many years.  In Greek, the word poiema means “a work” or “that which has been made.”  So this shows Brigid as a goddess of action.  She is considered to be the goddess of inspiration, divination and prophecy.  All of these traits combine in the form of a Creatrix…once again bringing forth the mothering part of her nature but that part that is very much ever-moving and ever-changing.  As I meditated on this part of her nature, I sat in front of my cauldron with flames licking forth from the belly and I called on her to awaken in me the things that are to born out of my heart and spirit in the coming year.  It was in that time that I felt an excitement and stirring deep within my own belly….much like those flames reaching higher and purposefully out of my own cauldron.  I know what visions and dreams were given and shown to me in those moments, and I look forward to sharing them with you as I watch them unfold.

The next aspect of her personality that came forth to me was the goddess of the forge’s fire.  Brigid is the goddess of smithcraft.  If you look into the history of smithcraft, it is only in the direct heat of the fire that metal is made maleable.  It is in that heat that impurities are burned off and the metal is able to be shaped into what the smith has need of.  It is that same thing that Brigid offers.  In the light of spring, we are given the chance to start over…to become anything we desire to become.  In those days, we are given the chance to fly again.  It is only in the light of spring that plants reach higher and higher, face to the sun, becoming all that nature intended for them to be.  Brigid offers us that same option.  Our potential is limitless.  We are built to grow, to change, to become.  We are one large compilation of energies….our energy is designed to work with and play upon other energies.

In the midst of this study time, I was forced to look eye to eye with myself.  Am I sitting on my broadest part waiting for life to come to me?  Brigid has awakened that part of me that may have actually been a little afraid to dream, to visualize.  She also stirred the wild man inside again.  For some reason, whenever I tend to become far too civilized, the horned one and a fiery goddess begin whispering in my ear.  When I get too busy to listen, I get a louder call to get back to that wild part of myself.  As I sat in front of the fire of my cauldron, I swear I could hear the flames laughing….urging me to laugh along with them in anticipation of the newness that life was about to take on……the dance of the wild man welled up inside and I couldn’t help myself.  The excitement of the Fire Goddess called me to dance and sing and move….always forward. 

Anticipation.  Inspiration.  Motivation.  Sounds like a hell of year is about to unfold.

Blessed Be!imagesCAVMK0TZ

Running Alongside Your Destiny

When cold winds are calling,
And the sky is clear and bright,
Misty mountains sing and beckon,
Lead me out into the light.

I will ride, I will fly,
Chase the wind and touch the sky,
I will fly,
Chase the wind and touch the sky.

Where dark woods hide secrets,
And mountains are fierce and bold,
Deep waters hold reflections,
Of times lost long ago.

I will hear their every story,
Take hold of my own dream,
Be as strong as the seas are stormy,
And proud as an eagle’s scream.

I will ride, I will fly,
Chase the wind and touch the sky,
I will fly,
Chase the wind and touch the sky.

And touch the sky.

Chase the wind, chase the wind.

Touch the sky

Today was the first day I have felt 100% since before Christmas.  I have been wheezing, sniffling, and snorting….forcing myself to do the things that I normally take pleasure in.  I have had to make myself go to the pond and to the woods.  I knew that going there would draw strength and healing into my body.  I have been forcing myself to work through the entire sickness, rarely taking time to rest.  Just when I would think I was back to normal….I was knocked on my ass again. 

Ever since I woke up this morning, I have been feeling the call of the outdoors.  It has felt as though the fae themselves have been calling me, beckoning for me to come out and play.  It was all I could do to sit still in my cubicle until 4pm.  My desk is right by a window, so I sat most of the day dreaming of being out in the sunshine and feeling the breeze against my face….even though it has been colder than I-don’t-know-what here.

When the clock hit 4, my body lurched from my desk.  I practically leapt at the door.  I jumped in my car and got home as quickly and safely as Atlanta traffic would allow.  I rushed into the condo, stripped out of my scrubs and put on my jeans, a sweatshirt and raced out the door.  I felt something welling up in me.  I haven’t run in years….haven’t been motivated to and haven’t felt the need.  As soon as I hit the sidewalk, I started to run.  This wasn’t a jog or a leisurely run….this was a hard, fast sprint.  I could feel all of the elements swirling around me.  I told a friend later that, if I had hair, it would have been blowing  in the wind.  I ran around the complex three times.  I could feel leaves and twigs crunching under my feet.  As I got to the gate of the courtyard after the third lap, I was breathing heavily, but I was completely exhiliarated and every circuit I had was popping.

I walked into the condo….gathered up my cloak, wand, and little blue chihuahua  and made my way to the pond.  Friz and I slowly circled the water.  Black and white cat has gotten to the point that he just joins us wherever we are.  He is rubbing against my legs and against Friz.  I inhale the moist air around the pond and we head toward the woods.  Like I said, it was like the fae were calling me to frolic with them.

As we entered the clearing, I felt the familiarity of my spirit friends…wolf and crow.  Energy was high today….it was as if there was an anticipation of something wonderful and powerful looming.  I have been saying that this year holds something big…..I can feel it deep in my bones.  I feel something life changing coming….something that will change me down to my very core.  I can smell it in the wind.

I have loved the Pixar movie “Brave” and have watched it many times since it came out on DVD.  I watch as a young Merida fights to be able to follow her own destiny.  She tests and tries everything around her to be able to live her own life.  Our destiny is just within reach.  So many of us, however, are afraid to open our eyes and see it.  I know, this year, my destiny is right in front of me…..I am ready to grasp it.  No more fear on this end.  I refuse to live my life sheltered away from the adventure that life brings.  I stand poised….ready to jump on the horse of destiny and ride wherever it takes me. 

I think about the past couple of years.  I have allowed people to trample me, cripple me emotionally, manipulate me….I am no one’s clay to sculpt but my own.  I am a masterpiece yet to be unveiled.  Most people would say that at 46 years old it is time to settle down and hibernate.  I say that it is a wonderful time for new beginnings.  Time to initiate wonderful changes.  My destiny has yet to be fulfilled.  I am looking forward to a fantastical ride!  I have wonderful travelling companions….Gods, Goddesses, fae, spirit animals, animal helpers, witches and all sorts of wonderful friends.

As Merida said at the end of Brave:

 There are those who say fate is something beyond our command.  That destiny is not our own, but I know better.  Our fate lives within us, you only have to be brave enough to see it.531902_538910342793421_951664636_n