I have had a lot of time over the past few weeks to think about many things and observe many things. One of the things I have noticed….particularly on Facebook is the viciousness that tends to spew forth from people. I find it quite disheartening that anyone who has beliefs or feelings that are different than the majority is attacked in pack mentality and then stalked to see if they are still standing.
I have witnessed this in many different arenas. You would think that we, as witches, would remember the power of words and intent. We utilize this every time we work Magick. We invoke the Goddesses and Gods. We call on the elements. We create elaborate and beautiful spells. A phrase comes to mind with all of this…..”You kiss your mother with that mouth?” We have no problem going before the Goddess as the powerful witches we are…full of intent and strong Magick, but we also have no problem tearing a fellow witch to shreds with just as much intent and Magick…whether we realize it or not. I have learned to just separate myself and stay silent. I am not saying that I have never done this. Sometimes my own personal hurt gets in my way or my ego gets dinged a bit.
We are also just as vicious and careless with the words that we speak over ourselves. I had a bit of personal experience with this over the past few weeks. I had the flu, which turned into pneumonia. I was asked how I was doing. I kept responding, “I feel like death.” or “I feel like I am dying.” I started to feel worse. Hmmm, wonder why? I learned that I needed to acknowledge the positives that I was feeling daily. “I am not completely better yet, but I am feeling a little better every day.” With this, I am not ignoring the sickness, but I am not giving it the upper hand either.
Another little medical issue I have been dealing with and learning to respond to is a lump I found in my chest a few months ago. When I first felt it, the doctor did a fine needle aspirate of it and determined that it was a fatty lump. When I went back for treatment of the pneumonia, he felt it again and said that it wasn’t as moveable as it was at first and seemed firm. It was determined that when I was over the pneumonia, we would biopsy it. That is set for next Friday.
Now to say that fear set in is putting it mildly. Every voice in my head told me that I am dying of cancer. Panic tried to step in. A dear friend of mine had to remind of the power of words. Whether it is cancer or not, it is all about how I approach things. My mind and heart will always be stronger than my body. The power of Magick is always going to be stronger than my body. I had to resolve within myself that I accept things as they happen. I should never breathe them into existence before they come to being. What is going to happen is going to happen. I am stronger than all of it.
I have lived through many things in my life. I have been called Fag. I have been spat on. I have been beat up for being who I am. I have been called fat, ugly….you name it and I have probably been called that. Yes, those words have hurt me tremendously and have always and will always stick in my mind and heart….but those words were mostly spoken by people who have no clue who I really am. Even those who were closest to me who spat out those words never really knew the “me” inside.
Another thing that I have seen done is when someone lies to make themselves look good in the eyes of others. That can be just as harmful. When we tell ourselves and others lies about who we are, it causes things to fester inside of us. When you constantly skirt around lies so that people won’t find out the truth, that lie can eat at the inside of us until we can’t breathe. I will compare this to me trying to pretend I was straight…all the while knowing that I was gay. It began to eat at my insides until I felt like I was going to have a breakdown….which eventually I did. The truth was freeing for my mind, heart and spirit.
We had a guest in our home this weekend who did not know that I am a witch. I struggled with the thought of “de-witching” the house. My better judgement won out. You see, I made a prejudgement of him. He was inquisitive and open and very excited. He taught me something new about myself.
I went walking this morning to the pond with Friz. As we walked, snow flurries whirled around us. I have always found snow to be very purifying, cleansing. Parts of this blog were also whirling around my brain. I started to ponder what would happen if I made a conscious choice to make the words that come out of my mouth healing words…encouraging words. I started with Friz. His response to words of praise was immediate. He wiggled, he licked and he wagged.
What would happen if we chose on a daily basis to keep our words venom free? What if we pulled the claws in and offered hands of healing and powerful magick that lift up and encourage those around us? What if, we were honest with those around us, but temper that honesty with love? What if we actually went out looking for the positive in other people? How about we start looking toward the Lord and Lady once again and stop looking for the boogie man around every corner.
This is my intention.