Yesterday was so nice here. It was like spring had come on full force. I got up early and took a walk around the complex. I was greeted by so many different plants raising their heads to the sun. So many shoots are coming up. Inside my own courtyard, there are hostas starting to show themselves. Hydrangeas are beginning to green up. On the outside of the courtyard, the daffodils and muscari are greeting spring full force.
As I walked down by the pond, I could see a sea of daffodils springing up….dancing in the wind. I looked over to a nearby tree and there sat Mama Crow. The caw, this time, wasn’t a reprimand….wasn’t a warning….it sounded like the course laugh of an old aunt who had smoked way too much in her life.
As I went back into the courtyard, all I could think of was sitting in the sun. I had on a sweatshirt, which became way too hot, so I went inside to change into a lighter shirt and to get the fairy house I have been working on for weeks. I still had some gluing to do and the fumes would have been way too noxious to stay indoors. I loved feeling the textures in my hands. I used natural items to decorate the house. The stones, the sticks, the moss…..my roommate told me as I was working on it last week that he dreamed about the house one night. In the dream, he said he kept hearing over and over again that I needed to bless it. I told him that I didn’t think I needed to bless the fairy house because I wasn’t going to use it for magick. He said, “But you are. As you work on it, you are healing and centering yourself. You are visualizing yourself there. You are using it as a way of grounding yourself. Now, I am not a witch, but that all sounds like magick to me.” Who’d a thunk it?!?? I guess maybe a little witch has rubbed off on him! LOL!!!
This has been a hard and very rough winter for me. I feel like I might have accomplished more by hibernating….but alas, humans aren’t allowed to do that. We have our jobs, and families, and responsibilities. This winter, it seems that I have been eaten up in so much sickness…whether it be a cold, a sinus infection, the flu, pneumonia, depression, and cancer scares. I have a wonderful support system though. When I am sick, I tend to isolate myself. I just want to be left alone to hibernate. I have friends who know me and refuse to let me brew and steep.
I was told by friends, when I came down with the flu, that I needed to be up and moving….that I didn’t need to lie down constantly. Instead of listening, I laid there….wallowing in the sickness. It reminds me of watching yeast activate. You add it to all the right conditions and ingredients and it bubbles and multiplies and that yeasty smell kind of overtakes everything. I was bathing in that yeasty smell on a daily basis. I did everything I shouldn’t have done and pneumonia bubbled up inside of me. When the doctor discussed the lump on my chest with me, I decided that I wasn’t going to do the same with that. I jumped at the chance to have it biopsied….started checking into natural anti-cancer agents. Then when the report came back that no cancer cells were seen, I decided that I should still look for natural immune support….one of which is just getting out in the sunshine.
After I finished working on the fairy house yesterday, I took Friz for a walk. He was a complete handful. He loves the smell of flowers and digging in the dirt. He danced, he pranced. We can learn alot of lessons from our animals. He did everything that I wanted to do, but tend to stifle because somebody might be looking. I always did hate conforming. As we walked, I decided to do like Friz….so I danced and pranced and when he stopped to dig, I did too. He thought it was grand fun. He looked up at me as I was kneeling down in the dirt with him and I swear that pup was smiling as I put my hands in the dirt and started to dig. It made him dig harder….which made me laugh. When we got back to the courtyard, we were exhausted. I sat on the patio sofa and he curled up on my lap. We both dozed off. I woke up to such a strong presence of the Goddess. The breeze was caressing me…I could smell earth and fire and air and water. I could sense the fae playing close by.
A friend said it best. “You are healing….after a long…horrid winter….you are reborn!”