Walking Backwards

2013-03-30 19.35.34 HDR

Yesterday morning was overcast.  There was a bit of a drizzle of rain as Friz and I made our way to the pond.  I needed the pond yesterday.  This week has been a rough one all the way around.  Wrenches were thrown into everyday life, clients were more irate than usual…..I was yelled at more all week than I have been all year.

My mind, my body and my spirit were tired.  I felt more drained than I have in a long time.  It is a feeling that you have been beaten so much that you just don’t know if you can get back up.  My neck and shoulders hurt from carrying the stress of the week in them.

Friz could sense every bit of this on the walk.  He was more subdued than he has ever been.  He padded along softly beside me, knowing where we were headed.  When we got to the pond, we found a stump where one of the trees had been.  I know for a fact that the tree wasn’t dead, but the maintenance folks around here have been cutting down trees with a vengeance this week.  This just added to my tension.  I felt something welling up inside me and a muffled sob came to surface. 

I could feel so many thoughts rifling through my mind.  The first was that humans just don’t know how to leave things alone.  Everything has to fit into our way of thinking.  We have to squeeze and mash and tear and beat something until it fits into the box of a world that we have created.  We do it with everything….the environment, animals, and other people.

I have to watch myself….especially around my own animals.  Because I live in the city now, it is easy for me to forget that animals are animals.  I find myself sometimes expecting the dogs and cats to force themselves into a mold that I have created.  The dogs hear a noise, it’s natural for them to bark in response.  In my mind, they should know that we live in a condo (or glorified apartment) and that they should be quiet.  No barking for you….restrain your voice.  The cat knocks over a picture frame trying to look out the window, we scold him for knocking something down that we have placed a value on…not him.  We are the ones who have confined him (technically a wild animal) to the indoors with only a glimpse of the outside through a window. 

Animals are such wonderful spirits.  They can pick up on our moods…they offer their own type of empathic consolation.  They have adapted to the fishbowl that we have placed them in.  Our environment has had to learn the same.  We go ripping through forests with saws and bulldozers….all for the sake of progress.  God  and Goddess knows, Atlanta does not have enough empty office buildings or condominiums.  The tree that was cut down over the course of a day (even though there was nothing wrong with it) unfortunately was probably blocking someones view.  .

We humans have also become so completely intolerant of each other.  If someone elses lifestyle or belief system doesn’t fit with mine….I am going to tear them to shreds…beat them down until they can’t stand anymore.  We watch to see where their spot of vulnerability is and that is where we strike.

I have watched this week as the arguments for and against Marriage Equality have taken place.  I am so blessed….so fortunate to have surrounded myself with friends and family who feel that there should be no difference….that love is love.  But on the flip side, I have experienced co-workers who argue and spit comments about how “that’s not how God intended it to be” and if I hear the phrase about “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve”  one more time, I may vomit.  Humans don’t like to feel like their little closed-in box of a world is threatened.

I have also witnessed the intolerance of religion all over Facebook this week.  So many witches getting their knickers in a knot because other witches want to celebrate Easter and Ostara.  I have so much fun with both.  I celebrate Ostara…my altar is adorned with flowers and eggs and rabbits and crystals. When Easter approaches…my altar is adorned with flowers and eggs and rabbits and crystals….Hmmmm.  Again, I feel like someone feels like their own little boxed in world is threatened.  Personally, it takes a little bit more than an Easter egg and fluffy chicks for me to feel threatened.  If someone wants to believe that Jesus rose from the dead…more power to them.  That is hope for them.  We as pagans have way more than enough Gods and Goddesses who are resurrected.

Trust me….I get it.  I have my own comfort zones.  But I sit back and watch as the world goes back to a survivalist mentality.  If it threatens me….I get rid of it.  I think that it is amazing that we put dogs down on a daily basis for acting the same way that humans do.  We have become the growlingest, snarlingest, teeth-baringest bunch of folks around.  We have decided that it is our job to back-stab, bitch-slap and bad-mouth anyone who doesn’t see eye to eye with us….hell, lately it is just as bad if someone looks at us cross-eyed. 

I am not, by far, High Priest “Stick Up His Ass” by any means.  I don’t care to be.  My tradition is my own, paired with teachings that I have received from those I trust and the Ancients.  I don’t really care if you don’t like it or not.  I am not you….nor do I ever care to be.  I am gay….I am a witch…I live a pretty regular life…I love my partner, my family, my animals, and my friends.  It isn’t your job to decide what is right or wrong in my life.  I am a grown man…I make those decisions.

Isn’t it time that we all leave the venom to those animals it is given naturally to?  Isn’t it time to not always have to fight about something? 

I have been beaten and mocked and made fun of for being gay.  I have been mocked and made fun of for being a witch.  I look forward to the day that both of those things are not shocking to others.

Blessed Be! 2013-03-30 19.32.52 HDR

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4 thoughts on “Walking Backwards

  1. Wonderful! Will there come a day??? Doubt it….but you have enough strong ones on your side….as you are for many…with that..we take comfort….BB

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