Distraction….that is the million dollar word. Lately there seems to be so many different things pulling at me. I don’t tend to be the stretchy type lately either….rather, I break or end up running around like a crazy man.
It has come to my attention, especially over the past few days, that I let myself become side-tracked far too easily. I am too much like that dog in the movie “Up.” I can be talking one minute about the power of magick and…..”Squirrel!!!” I throw myself into many things at one time and end up swirling like a cyclone. My body rebels and my immune system retreats and sickness overtakes. When sickness comes on, it seems to take forever to get my body back in line.
Over the past month, we had been preparing for a Halloween party. This is a party that we look forward to every year. We did a group costume this year and I spent weeks searching for all the right accessories. I scoured eBay for deals and went to every costume shop in Atlanta. I threw myself into the costume with all four feet. The issue wasn’t the costume, but more the fact that there were other things that really needed to take precedence.
I am an ‘all or nothing’ type of guy. I feel that if I am going to do something, it can’t be done halfway. When I was working in the theater, I was introduced, through a show I was doing, to clogging. Clogging is a type of folk dance in which the dancer’s shoes are fitted with taps and by striking toe and heel, a rhythm is created. This dance is quite popular in the mountains and foothills of North Carolina….where I was raised. It wasn’t enough for me to learn how to clog. I had to become a part of a team and dance competitively. While it was enjoyable, I wonder what ever made me pursue it. Was it just another check mark on my blackboard of life?
Last night, late, I needed some air. I decided to spend some time in the courtyard. It was coolish…but not too cool and the wind was still. I sat on the stoop of the condo and stared at the mandrake plant that I have been nurturing since early summer. That plant has been a lesson in patience. They are very particular about light and condition and temperature. I have had to tend that plant with kid gloves. About a month ago, I started to finally see some growth. Growth does not come quickly with a mandrake either. What started as a bump in the soil, is now three small (and I do mean small) leaves….and this is on a two year old root.
The only thing that it concentrates on is growing stronger. It pulls from the elements and slowly gathers the strength and nourishment it needs to become the perfect specimen….when the time is right.
Samhain is upon us and in the midst of preparation, I have let myself meander away from what it means. I have let other things push and pull me until I no longer feel that I know which direction I am headed toward. Even the crows realize it. Normally, I am besieged by throngs of crows on a daily basis….with Mama Crow leading the noisy choir. When I go through times like this…the crows grow silent. I haven’t seen or heard a crow in at least a week.
I have decided that Samhain, for me, this year….will be a new beginning. This is a time to call on the ancients, the ancestors to help strengthen my resolve. The coming year for me will be the “Season of the Witch.” This is my time for growing…..not that quick, over-fertilized growth….but a slow methodical growing time. In this year I will become even more intimately acquainted with herbs and potions. I intend to absorb everything that the stones and crystals will give me. My time with the Lord and Lady and the elements will be even more deliberate. I have been on this path far too long to let it just be the shocking revelation of ‘Yes, I am a witch.’
It is my time to revel in what it means to be a witch. It is time to let that part of my spirit sing out. Let the magick that is within me flow. The power behind my beliefs should flow from me as easily as my own name flows from my lips….it is that much a part of me.
I have seen too many try to show themselves as something they are not. We are not Harry Potter….not Samantha from ‘Bewitched.’ We are not the ladies from ‘The Witches of East End’ or ‘Practical Magic.’ We are, however, a strong group of individuals with energy and power that cannot be matched. We are people who have healing in our very fingertips….our backbone is strong…..we hold access to the spirit realm and the playgrounds of the fae. We are not here by accident and we were born to fly. We were given relationship with those who many toss aside….the animals follow us closely and give us access to their hearts and spirits. We are many traditions and many beliefs….but one strong heart grounded strongly in the old ways.
I look forward to the wonderful things that are coming for me in this new year. There are no dragons to be fought….but there are plenty to ride. On Samhain night, as the moon rises in the sky and the clock strikes midnight, I will whisper my desires into the ears of the Lord and Lady. I will offer myself to the elements and I will begin a journey of growth led by the spirits of the ancients and those ancestors who desire to teach me. I am a witch…nothing more and I sure as hell will not be anything less.