As I sit down to the computer tonight, it seems forever since I have written anything. Sometimes life overtakes us and other times we are just taken over. Over the past couple of weeks here in Atlanta, we have had our annual Gay Pride…I spent a good part of that weekend with friends (my partner was sick, but still he said, “Go on without me. I will survive.” He has such a spirit of courage ;)….along with the spirit of Gloria Gaynor). We walked the crowded thoroughfare of Piedmont Park, enjoyed the sense of community, and experienced the Pride Parade. The weather was beautiful…the leaves in the midst of change, but the weather around them warm and breezy.
Then Monday came. We were back in the throes of day-to-day life….my partner was back on his feet. I went to work Monday morning feeling energized and then Monday night, the god of all stomach viruses hit me. Most people who know me, know that I would rather be sick in any other way but vomiting….well, this virus did not get that memo. I tossed my cookies from late Monday evening up until this morning….a total of three days. I have been stuck inside the house constantly…well, except for the few hours I ventured to work to get middle of the month requirements done. Other than that, I slept….a lot.
When I am sick, my dream life is something else. Normally I take the opportunity in sleep to conquer all those things that come at me in my awake life. I find it fascinating that when I am sick and need to send magick to others….I do it in my dreams. My body and magick are so much stronger in those places between sleep and awake. In those dreams, I have seen healing, employment issues resolved…and powerful things done with the wave of a wand and the spoken word. I have even awakened speaking the words of spells that I had no recollection of ever writing.
This may not be a traditional post for me, but it is something that I needed to write….a place where my spirit was far more active than any other part of me. A place where I wasn’t contained by what anyone believed or said.
As Samhain approaches, the veil is getting thinner between this world and the next. It never shocks me when I am visited by spirits when I sleep….especially this time of year. As I closed my eyes last night, I was visited by many…very few whom I recognized. Even though they were not familiar to me, there was a comfortable feeling…a knowing. I dreamed of my roommate and I standing beneath a streetlamp. He did his usual thing…he looked at the light and it went out. I remember faces…only faces coming toward me. They weren’t trying to scare me. I looked beside me and saw Friz…then in the next moment, he had turned into a rather large wolf with his same little blue chihuahua markings. In the next moment, I was over a cauldron….throwing bits of herbs and hair and roots into the mix calling for peace as these spirits walked closely to the edge of the veil.
I could feel myself turn in my sleep and then there was a tree. The tree was stark and black and empty. I was the only one at the base of this tree. I put my hands on the trunk of the tree and watched as this tree began heaving and crying. Wolf-Friz was close to my side…not moving away. Then I saw the fae coming near…..they were wearing muted tones….the colors of winter. They were begging me to come sing with them, but Friz would not let me go. I remembered in my dream that my grandpa once told me that if you went away with the ‘wee folk’ that you would never return.
As I drifted in and out of the “sick-sleep,” I kept seeing faces of those I love and cherish dancing in front of me…..I could feel their needs. I would reach out to each one and feel them floating away as each was greeted with a kiss from a gray colored female. I knew somehow that with each kiss their needs were being met.
As I ushered sleep away, I looked beside me to see a little blue chihuahua yawning widely beside me. Always faithful….never moving from my side. He moved toward my face and softly licked my nose as I struggled to be awake.
With each deep sleep, I can feel my body healing. I feel my spirit active…even though my body isn’t. As the night fell, I visited gardens and farms and townhomes. The only way I can describe it is to say that I got a taste of the old magick….that magick that the ancients before us.
As Samhain gets closer and the veil thins even more…..let us open ourselves even more to the lessons that not only spirit has to teach us…but also let us be open to those that we may overlook normally.