It has gotten to the point that I do my best writing at night. I sit here with a cup of hot wild blueberry tea with some mugwort mixed in and sweetened with a bit of honey….soothing to the spirit. It seems like just yesterday that we greeted 2013 with optimism, excitement and enthusiasm. I just knew that this year was going to be a year like no other. Boy, was I right.
2013 held many surprises…good and bad. Through the course of the year, I have seen friends come and go. I have watched as death took family, friends, and four-leggeds. I look at the past year and can see how I have grown because of situations and circumstances. I have also seen areas of my own life that need to be improved upon.
The coming year for me, is to be a year of Truth. I have always been one who thought that honesty was the best policy and I believe that being honest with oneself is the greatest truth one can find. This year, I intent to be more honest with myself, first and foremost, than I have ever been. It is time for the rough edges to come off even more. It is time for the Weathered Wiseman to open himself up to more magick than he could have even fathomed.
It is also time for truth to be the first thing that pours out of my mouth. I have told you before that I am a horrible liar. I have never even been able to tell those sweet little white lies that everyone tells to spare hurt feelings. My face always gives me away. My goal for this year is to temper that truth with as much love as I can muster.
The truth is never easy for any of us to take. It is especially hard when we have concocted a truth from lies we have told ourselves. We have made something that was never real to begin with and given it life. We have created something that grows legs of its own and walks about creating destruction.
The second thing I intend to do with this new year is to get an even stronger backbone. It isn’t to say that I don’t have a pretty strong backbone now…..but I want one that can’t and won’t be bent. When I plant my feet, that is where I will stay.
Trials have hit me this year….we have all had a plethora of them. I have stood strong…but in 2014, I intend to stand stronger. Does this mean that I won’t cry…won’t hurt? Hell no. It means that through those tears and pain there is gonna be one strong man standing to face the issues. I will not be pushed down. Nothing is so strong that I cannot overcome it.
The third thing that I intend to pursue this year is Peace. I have grown tired of becoming frazzled at any little crisis. I have become over-tired of being anxious. Worry is not a good trait to have. Worry makes one old before your time. Worry causes health issues. Anxiety causes blood pressure problems. When I was pastoring, there was one scripture that always amazed me. “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.”
If you look around you at the grasses and trees and the flowers in the spring….they don’t sit around and worry about where their nourishment is coming from. They trust that the Lord and Lady will take care of them. They are tended by the nature spirits. Don’t we have that same gift? We have been given all the elements….right there at our fingertips. Yet we are so afraid to utilize them. We have been gifted with magick. We are so quick if someone asks, “I need a little extra energy…mojo…juju,” to pipe up with ‘Sending!’ But honestly are we just saying that or do we truly believe that we have been gifted the ability to manifest it?
The final thing that I fully intend to embrace with the coming of 2014…..is Living in the Magick. You have heard the phrase, “Living in the Moment.” Well, I am going to live every moment in magick. I intend to let magick permeate every part of my being. I want to see it manifest itself more powerfully than I could ever anticipate. I am going to walk in the energy of the universe around me….constantly surrounded and guided by the gods and goddesses. I will hold dearly to all of the elements and to the spirit guides around me.
I went to the woods with Friz this morning. It was hazy and cold and drizzly at times. My mind was racing over many things that have happened over the past few days. I wore my cloak (it seems, when I wear my cloak that the world disappears around me and I am transported at that moment into a world of magick) and gathered my backpack with all of my supplies. When we got to the woods, I unpacked everything and got it all set up listening to Friz doing ‘play growls’ with that little calico. She had somehow slipped in as I was attending to the business of magick. I settled in front of the skulls and candles and made my circle…I called on the elements and my spirit guides. As I sat there, I heard a major rustling in the trees above. I heard Mama Crow, but then as I looked up, there were many crows gathered in the tree tops. I sensed the presence of wolf and welcomed him in. I talked back and forth to Mama Crow and her entourage as I communed with the god and goddess.
As I sit there in deep conversation, I am reminded of one of the Native American legends of Crow: A white crow warned buffalo every time that hunters approached. This led to hunger and starvation in the village and the crow is eventually captured by the hunters and thrown into a fire. But it escapes before being completely burned, being only blackened by the flames; black becomes its permanent color. As the crow flees, it promises never to warn the buffalo of approaching hunters again. The crow becomes a type of phoenix that rises from the ashes, symbolizing renewal, transformation and promise.
I call up to Mama Crow, “Is this what you wanted me to remember? Is it time for renewal, transformation and the promise of better things?” I only hear a cacophony of crow calls above me…but in the midst of those crows, I swear I can see one old female crow up there smiling and the sounds from her sound more like a deep laugh.
I complete my ritual and pack up. As Friz and I walk back to the condo, I feel something deep building inside of me. Hope? Determination? I even thought I felt that backbone get a little bit stronger.