Sitting outside, minding my own business, playing with my phone and eating my lunch while overhearing a small group of inconsiderate Buckhead Bettys talking smack about everything from their husbands to the maids and everyone in between. When a bird flew by and crapped in one of their salads. You should have seen the look on her face and heard the shriek she let out when she bit into a spoonful of bird crap.
This is from the Facebook post of a friend of mine. We have all been fed crap at some point in our lives. We have been told that we aren’t doing something correctly or that something we believe isn’t the truth or that we are wrong for being who we are.
In looking back, in so many ways, I was a chameleon. I was always changing to blend into my surroundings. I think back to my high school years…I was neither jock nor redneck or geek or popular. I blended with all of those crowds. It was easy to fade into the background, never having enough voice to speak to who I really was.
As I aged, I became more confident in who was inside my skin. It became easier to say the “G” word. I was confident enough to walk down the street holding hands with my partner. Charlotte, North Carolina was not quite as confident in my ‘gayness’ as I was. I remember being beaten up a few times just for standing strong and believing in who I am. I couldn’t understand why other people should be allowed to show the love they had for their significant other in public places, but I couldn’t.
More years added more callouses. I came out of another closet…the broom closet. Once more the chorus of background voices started singing the “you need to…you ought to…you’ve got to…” serenade. People can’t seem to understand that others have to walk their own path. We feel the need to push them bound and gagged down the path we think they should follow.
Social media has become a great source of access to those practicing the Craft, but with the many groups, it can also be a great source of judgement for those who may be new and walking with a bit of uncertainty. Don’t get me wrong, there are groups out there that are honestly interested in the growth of those new to the Craft. It is when I see others take a holier than thou attitude when it comes to aiding someone in their journey that starts that slow burn in me. I also have no time for those who will question or ridicule a path that someone walks because it doesn’t mirror their own.
Our lives are an evolution. We are constantly growing…branching into many different directions. We have to allow others to walk, to fall…but we have to be willing to pick them up. We have to be willing to change. The world around us shows us that change is the only constant in our lives.
This morning, when Friz and I made our way to the woods, I could smell change in the air. Even though it was still warm-ish out, there was a crispness in the air. I carried Friz most of the way this morning. It had been a week since we had seen each other (I was away on business in Florida). I honestly have to say that as we rounded the corner to the column where the Green Wizard normally shows himself, I felt a bit disheartened when I didn’t see him. I walked toward the woods with Friz cradled in the crook of my arm. We got to our little clearing and I started unpacking…candles, bones, magickal what nots…and breakfast. Just as I settled in, I heard a rustling that startled me. I turned quickly and let out a short yelp as the Green Wizard rushed toward me. Friz was all excited. I think I peed a little just from the surprise.
He fell onto the leaves laughing and I did a mock scowl. He chuckles out an apology. I can’t be mad….after all, I was so disappointed when I didn’t see him…and it was so good seeing the twinkle in his eyes coming back. We talked about everything and nothing all at once. He asked about the trip to Florida and I questioned him about his journeys for the week. We talked about the approaching change in seasons and Mabon. We talk about things to come. The Green Wizard’s mood becomes more somber, “You know you are the only person who doesn’t look at me and see a homeless bum. You have taken the time to get to know me. You understand who I am. You have taken time to understand my hopes and my dreams…to know that there is more to me than ragged clothes and a wandering path.”
I explained to him that to some degree, we are all wandering. We are all ragged and dirty from all that life throws at us and throws us into…but we continue the journey. We find who we are buried in those moments when no one else is looking at us…when we fade into the background. It is in the silence that we learn to hear and recognize our own voices.
I read a piece written and shared on Facebook by a dear friend of mine, Cindy Maluna,
Mabon…September 22. The second of the three major harvests, and also the autumn equinox. The balance between light and dark. Southern hemisphere….Ostara…spring equinox. The days grow shorter, darker from here on out. Things die, or will become dormant…a necessity. This marks the descent of the Sun God….he will return at Yule. Just a short time actually…and the coming months are full of activities to keep us busy. We’ve enjoyed the veggies…will savor the fruits…and survive the winter. We will. We’ll order bulbs…plan our gardens….tend our houses. You can’t change the cycles…one balances the other…death. Rebirth. You have to look at it with practicality, with realism. Our bodies change, we grow old, we die. Those who give birth….our legacy…goes on. Those who don’t have children….you leave your mark on this world…your thoughts, deeds, yes…you are still part of the great thread of life. We’re entering the Crone stage….and believe me…it’s an awesome time…can’t have children anymore? Give birth to yourself….create this special time of YOU. I move slower, ache more, take longer to do things….but I enjoy what I do, what I create….I savor it. I love it. You have so much to contribute to this world…until the day you die…you have opportunities right in front of you. Don’t miss out by looking back… what you were…..create what you will be. Harvest, eat it up…and enjoy. You are on this Earth….make it count. Become a legacy….welcome Mabon. BB
I explained that it was through Magick, through our own legacy of the Craft, I came to know and to understand him and him, me. I walked him through my own daily journeys….learning every day to be a more genuine, effective me. Those closest to me see my failures…they watch me fall. More important than anything in the world, though, is the fact that they see me pick myself up, brush off the dirt and keep on moving. I have only one desire and that is to be the best I can personally be. I fully intend to be the witch I am.