This past week was a thought invoking week. My brain has been mulling over so many things. One of those things was the result of a wonderful new friend’s post on the Weathered Wiseman Facebook page. She had simply posted, “I am thoroughly enjoying your blog!! I found you on The Pagan Black Book.” I responded by telling her that I couldn’t be more thrilled to hear this and I offered her blessings upon blessings. Later in the comments, someone asked, “Are there dark blessings? I didn’t know that.” I didn’t think anything about the comment. My response was, “Everything is a mix of dark and light. It’s all about finding balance. I don’t just work with the Dark Goddess. I also work with Brigid, Cerridwen, Cernunnos…I always try to work in blessings.”
This made thoughts fly through my mind like snow flurries. Why are people so afraid of the dark? For that matter, why are they afraid of anything that they perceive as dark? Is it because the darkness is so mysterious? Is it because darkness is seen as unpredictable? In light, you can see everything that approaches you. In darkness, you may hear what is coming, but you may not see it right away.
This morning I experienced the truth in that last statement. Friz and I had gone to the woods early…before the sun came up. It was dark. The trees were very stark looking standing in front of me. Add to this, the fact that I have horrible vision in the dark anyway. I picked Friz up as a safety precaution. I didn’t so much want to carelessly step on my dog. We sat down next to one of the trees and I leaned back and closed my eyes. As I sat there resting, I heard a rustling. I shrugged it off. I figured it was a cat, possum, a ground bird…everything that didn’t threaten or make me nervous. I continued to sit there with my head back and my eyes closed. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I yelled. My trusty guard dog barked after the fact because he recognized the scent attached to the hand. It was only after I composed myself that I realized that I had picked Friz up and run quite a few feet.
As I composed myself, I realized that the Green Wizard and his ‘not such a puppy anymore’ pup was standing in front of me. As I stood there breathing heavily, he apologized for scaring me…explaining that he thought that I had heard him. I told him I did, but passed it off as being noise from an animal. He leaned down and stroked Boomer and laughed saying that I was half right.
We settled down and I reached into my backpack and handed him a couple of sandwich bags that I had filled with biscuits. I had intended to feed the birds and animals with them, but I would bring more back later and the Green Wizard looked like he needed them more at the moment. I pulled my black candles out of the backpack along with my crow skull (I longed for simplicity this morning and what better for the dark part of the year and the dark moon). As I lit the candles, the Green Wizard asked me, “Why black?” I explained to him that black was for protection and banishing any negative energies. I told him that the crow skull was a representative of the Dark Goddess, the Morrigan.
As we talked about the different attributes of the Morrigan, I explained that many people are afraid of her and that she is seen as a dark, harsh, killing force. He smiled crookedly and said that people have a way of misconstruing things that don’t make sense to them. He agreed that it was fear of the unknown. I asked him if he saw me as a dark wizard. He laughed out loud and told me that I was the farthest thing from it. He said that if nothing else, I was a very passionate wizard with very strong beliefs and convictions. He went on to say that my practices fall back to the ways of the ancients as far as the herbs and roots I use and that the skulls and bones I use may make folks wonder, but that the honor I give to the animals and the protection and healing magick that I use would give evidence to the true nature of my heart.
I started to ponder the word ‘passionate.’ When we think of passion, we often think of something mysterious and brooding. Does passion come from that ‘feel-good, love and light’ part of us? No. It doesn’t. Passion comes from a part of us that stirs deep inside of us…it is that part of our energy that can be unpredictable and sometimes untouchable. Our passion tends to be something that we guard closely. It is something that we don’t give away or show readily. It comes from that hidden part of us. If you were to ask someone what their passion is….first, they will hem and haw….then they will nervously giggle…then they will say quietly, “No….it’s stupid.” We are leery of sharing that deep, hidden part of us with anyone.
I know that some people refer to this part of themselves as their ‘shadow-self.’ I remember a conversation some years back with a friend of mine. He was just beginning to delve into that darker part of himself. He was starting to see himself as he truly is…a mixture of light and dark. It was after this soul journey that his passion became more a part of his everyday life and his business began to flourish.
Searching for your passion is not for the faint of heart…nor is it for the brainless. Wars have been fought because of passion. Men have died at the end of a sword controlled by passion. Relationships have thrived and been broken to pieces because of passion. On the other side of the coin, though, new world’s have been discovered because of passion. Lives have been saved because of passion.
A dark wizard? No, I am definitely a combination of the two. My passion? Magick. Completely and fully….I love watching energies swirl around me. I thrive on seeing what the elements are capable of. It gives me chills when I experience the Gods and Goddesses. Am I afraid of my dark side? Oh no….I have learned to embrace it and walk fully empowered by it and that part of me that calls to the light.
Here is a spell I concocted to stir that passion in all of us. All you need is some hot red pepper jelly, some cream cheese and crackers.
I start by taking out two of the crackers, spreading them with the cream cheese (a nice big dollop)….and then heaping that over with a nice spoonful of spicy hot red pepper jelly. As they sit in front of me, I envision that part of me that I wish to access…that passion that I have kept hidden for so long:
Both hot and sweet, I call to you.
Stir in me what I’m to do.
Awaken passion deep inside…
No more to slumber or to hide.
Dark and Light I now embrace,
And with myself come face to face.
Heat and cool now intertwine.
A balanced life, now is mine.