You’ve changed. You’re daring.
You’re different in the woods…
You’ve changed. You’re thriving.
There’s something about the woods…
The past couple of weeks have been challenging around here. I have had the flu, an upper respiratory infection, and a blocked salivary gland. In that time, I have worked, I have traveled, and had the opportunity for far more activity than rest.
Friday, my body required me to pause long enough to have to be checked out. I woke up Friday with the left side of my face swollen so big that it actually scared me. There was a tremendous amount of heat coming from it. I texted my boss and headed to my doctor. He looked at my jaw and put his fingers all in my mouth and told me that he was sending me to Emory for a CAT Scan and Kidney bloodwork. I looked down at the prescription he gave me to hand them with his instructions. The first words I read: Cancer Check. My heart sunk as I read and I called my roommate to see if he would go with me.
We got there and spent a huge amount of time waiting. I remained patient, knowing that the flu season had officially started in Atlanta. I watched as a little grandma across from me wept and whispered how much she hurt.
When I was finally ushered into one of the rooms, I endured the smacking of fingers against veins and listened to the nurses tell me what I hear all the time, “You don’t have much in there as far as veins. I am going to have to use the back of your hands, legs, tops of your feet.” They all seemed amazed at the amount of swelling in my jaw and neck. “That just happened overnight?!?” I would nod and smile.
After the CAT Scan and bloodwork, the doctor seemed certain it was a blocked salivary gland. She prescribed antibiotics and lots of sour candy to get the saliva flowing. I promised as I left that I would check in with my own doctor yesterday morning.
I followed through and went to my doctor yesterday. He was surprised that the swelling had not reduced much. He brought up the fact that there had been a resurgence of mumps lately (which I, of course, had never had). I went back home to my sour candy and antibiotics that would give an elephant diarrhea.
Late last night, I had been house bound as long as I could be. I begged Jay for a trip to the movies. We went to see “Into the Woods.” This has always been one of my least favorite musicals, but I thought that it might make up for my having to be away from my woods for so long.
After the movie last night, I drifted to sleep. In my dreams, I walked the woods over and over with Mama Crow and Wolf at my side. I dreamed of Frisbee dancing alongside me. Funny, I was never the baker, or Red Riding Hood, or Jack in my dreams….but always the witch…always searching for those perfect ingredients for healing.
I woke up this morning as the rain was still spitting and hissing through the clouds. I couldn’t stay inside one more moment. I had to be apart of the outdoors. I had to be a part of that which I had been born of. The elements called to me…I could hear the birds and the wind. They longed to dance and play.
I pulled on my cloak and roused a wild little chihuahua. We made our way through puddles and mud into a place where we feel more at home than on our own sofa. I had brought a tarp and blanket. I have found that after a good rain, it keeps us from being soaked but still allows us to feel the ground under our rumps. As I closed my eyes and inhaled the smell of the damp outdoors, I could hear the sounds of nature around me. I had the feeling that I would see the Green Wizard this morning…just one of those knowings that brew deep inside of you.
Of course, his first words are, “Oh my gosh, what happened to your face?!” I explained what had been going on. He laughed and asked if I had dried arnica, dried calendula, charcoal, and lavender oil back at the condo. I told him I did. He told me to go get it. He was already digging out red clay from an area behind us and getting handfuls of other things as I walked back to the condo.
I came back with the requested items and he added them to the clay mix. After everything was mixed thoroughly, he plastered the muck behind my ear and down the side of my jaw and neck. He told me to leave it on for a couple of hours and then I could wash it off.
Today was a singing day. We would take turns breaking out in songs that just came to our heads…..some based in pure nonsense, some serious. We took turns dancing with the dogs and the breeze. When we collapsed on the blanket…laughing and breathing heavy…he smiled and told me that he could tell that the Weathered Wiseman needed time with himself in the woods and that he would give me my time. Part of me wanted to object because we were having such a good time, but there was that part of me that knew he was more than right. I rubbed Boomer under his chin as Friz did one more play pounce on him. The Green Wizard picked Friz up and rubbed him on his neck and then put him down in my lap.
As I watched the Green Wizard walk off through the woods, I am sprawled out with that wild chihuahua bouncing on my belly. I listened as Mama Crow crackled out her sounds of approval. I speak out loud to her, “Mama Crow…what is coming? Where will the magick take me?” She laughed her course laugh again…in a way telling me that no matter what, I need to meet it with flexibility and all the magick I have in me.
I close my eyes and ponder over my dear friend Maluna’s words:
Cold, Wolf, Chaste, Ice Moon, Sunday at 11:53 pm. Looks like ice and cold are on tap here. Winter is about to descend on us with a vengeance….Things are bare…except for the evergreens, and the Ivy that surrounds our house….ever green…ever Goddess. It’s pouring rain…it will turn to ice tonight….the deadliest of the Water forms (in my book)…it shows no mercy. My thoughts and studies turn to Brigid….goddess of springs, holy wells…fire…and for me she represents the waters of our land right now. Old farmers are saying the water content is low….for the coming growth season we welcome the rains and snows…one of the reasons I don’t get depressed this time of year….what is happening now….will benefit the summer. This is the full moon before Imbolc….February 2nd…full Quickening Moon….the 3rd. I have a full month of workings before Imbolc….confused? It’s ok….this works for me…you’re welcome to try it if you like. I’ll work this Cold Moon for the abandoned and abused animals….wildlife has a tendency to survive Nature….or not….that is their law….humans and their cruelty kill more than the Elements…I provide as much food and shelter possible….opening myself to the fires of Brigid for warmth….protect them all…please. Deepen your winter journey….work to provide for others, help those in need, the elderly…use the warm and cleansing energies…If you focus positive energy on the future, understand what is happening in the coming months….(granted, we don’t LIKE it) but it’s much easier if you accept and acknowledge the flow of Nature. It’s challenging….and rewarding to work with the Elements….without Earth, Air, Fire, and Water….we would not be….I give thanks for their gifts…and survive. BB
That is the one thing about life and magick…it is always moving forward. We have to choose whether we move with it or not. Nature is always changing, as shown by the seasons. The wheel doesn’t wait for us to catch up.
It is never more evident than when I am in the woods that I am a part of that.
Oh, and by the way, after two hours with that muddy salve on my neck, jaw and ear…the swelling had almost completely gone.