Have mercy!!! This week has got to be the most stressful I have ever had…possibly in my life. Since I took this new position at work in July, I have become responsible for 20 different accounts. This means that I trouble shoot anything from company setup to payroll to tax setup and research. This past week at work, I end up with two companies that won’t sign off on quarter end tax submission. I have to research why they owe what they owe. I have the companies yelling because they think they shouldn’t have to owe it and I have the tax department yelling because the customer needs to sign off. I have to orchestrate getting all of this done….on top of all 18 of the other companies screaming for attention.
Add to all of this, stress at home…talks with the roommate. Having to be more blunt than I have ever been….trying not to be hateful, but not compromising either. Letting him know that I am in a difficult situation and that I don’t intend to stay there.
Oh and one more thing….the nutritionist and fitness guru launching 20 emails a day at me because I only lost a pound at the last weigh in….having to put my foot down and tell her to back the f*** off.
I could feel myself crumpling like a Halloween Whopper wrapper. I was strung so tight that the wrong word would have just set me off. One customer threatened to report me to someone higher up because she didn’t get the answer she wanted. And then I received the text:
You know I’m sending you everything I’ve got. I love you!
It was in this instance that I was reminded to breathe…that no matter what I did, it wasn’t going to be perfect. I decided to engage a manager that I trusted at work. He told me that this wouldn’t be the first time or the last time that something like this happened and that communication was my gift and to stick with it. I reached out to the customers constantly through the week, and on Friday at 4pm, they signed off.
My boss called me into her office and told me that the one thing that makes me different from many others on the floor, is the fact that I actually care. She high-fived me and told me that I had done a wonderful job of coordinating the whole process. One of my co-workers imparted some words of wisdom to me:
The greatest peace you will ever know is when you accept that you don’t know everything, and you never will. You learn what you can, teach others, and be courageous in your journey.
In my office, we have a phrase that we use a lot. We talk about ‘effective partnering.’ We try to be an effective partner internally and externally. This week, I found that it is also a living and breathing practice in magick.
Even though I am a solitary witch, I have found that magickal partnering manifests in many ways. The most obvious is typically through that common Facebook post, “I am dealing with xyz, can you all please send a little extra energy?” With each reply of “You got it.” or “Sending,” we have joined in magickal partnering. We are, in that moment, sharing a part of our energy and even our own spirit.
Another area of magickal partnering that we often forget about or take for granted is that bond that we share with our ‘spirit animal’ or familiar. I can’t tell you the times this week in the midst of my stress that Friz curled close to me and joined his energy with mine. At one point I observed that if he could have crawled up into my skin, he would have.
Mama Crow appeared at every corner…knowing that I needed strength for the fight. A warrior’s greatest enemy is not the battle. It is the fatigue that comes from fighting. She constantly cawed to me to remind me never to grow weary of wielding the sword…never grow tired of bearing the shield, but to stand strong…feet planted for battle.
I also found comfort in partnering with Nature and the elements through this week. As I sought refuge in the woods, the trees reminded me to stand strong, but to remain pliable. The storms are going to come one after another, but if I allow stress and anger to rot my spirit, I will be dead inside and will topple over with any catastrophe that I am confronted with. If I learn to move inside the storm, then I stand a better chance of standing strong afterwards.
Many witches I know seem to be afraid of showing vulnerability. No one can know that there are battles that we need help fighting….we are strong and can win on our own. Not all the time. Sometimes you need someone to lean on….you need those in your life that will support you, build you up, and call you out when you need it.
Even as a solitary, that brotherhood and sisterhood is an undeniable part of the Craft.