I love Joel Robison’s photography. It seems to portray every emotion that I could ever think of feeling. His work gets right to the heart of people.
I had errands to run this afternoon. This meant that I had to go out into the midst of people. As I grow older, I despise being around crowds more and more. As I strolled through the mall looking for jeans (nope, I don’t wear cloaks and robes all the time), I constantly had to dodge couples with strollers, endure screaming children, and watch others who felt way too entitled, run sales clerks ragged. As I stood in line at one store to purchase that one pair of jeans, one of those self-entitled people pushed her way in front of me. “I only have the one item. I don’t have time to wait in line.” Yep. Wrong thing to say to this witch. I could feel those flying monkeys raising up inside of me. I could feel the poison beginning to drip over the apple. I looked at her solemnly and quietly said, “You need to get back in line.” She ignored me and pushed me out of the way. The push was all it took. “Get the fuck to the back of the line, bitch!” roared up from my chest. She stood there with her mouth gaping open staring at me. Again, quietly, I said to her, “Get to the back of the line. Your lack of manners and your sense of self importance aren’t going to get you anything with me.” She slowly backed away from me to the tail-end of the slow moving line.
The second part of my journey took me to Michael’s. I needed a few more fall leaves for the top of my buffet. As I walk through the store, I hear a mother screeching at her child across that store and the child screeching back. This went on for the entire 45 minutes I was in there. I got in that line and who do you think I got behind…the banshee and her brat. They are yelling back and forth at each other as they stand in line. In fact, they are yelling so much that they don’t hear the cashier call them up to check out….five different times. She screamed louder. I told her that the cashier was calling her up. She then screeched at me. I looked at her with fire in my eyes…”Listen, you loud-mouthed screeching heifer who is apparently passing all of your wonderful qualities down to your wretched child, move your ass to the checkout, shut your mouth, and get out of my sight.” My mama always told me to offer directions to folks who needed them.
The final part of my journey today, brought me back home. As I settled in for a much needed nap, I hear the upstairs neighbors. It sounds as if they have the whole entourage of Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey’s Circus up there. I hear thump….crash….boom. My dogs nerves are shattered. My cats are hiding in the closet. I walk purposefully up the stairs to the door of the condo. I ring the doorbell. The guy answers and his words are, “What’s the problem?” “Oh, I don’t know. Could it be the fact that you and your children sound like herds of wild horses running across my ceiling. It isn’t like we haven’t discussed this before.” He responds, “I don’t think they are loud.” As I walked down the stairs, I told him that it’s ok…from this point forward, the police will be called, the landlord…whoever I need to call. I am tired.
I needed the woods desperately. I could feel my blood pressure climbing higher and higher. I needed to ground. I needed time with my dog and no one else. Friz and I head past the condos and back toward the edge of the woods. I had my mini Book of Shadows with me. Everything inside me wanted to spew out curses. I was lying on my stomach in the dirt turning page by page. I came across an entry from over a year ago. I read it slowly. As I read, I realized that I wasn’t battling people. I was battling the demons or oppressive energies of society. People are so stressed now. They honestly don’t know whether to wind their butt or scratch their watch. I look around and I see people moving in auto-pilot. At least I have nature. I can look in their eyes and see that there is absolutely nothing there.
All I can do is try to insulate myself. I have to keep myself surrounded in magick at all times. It is hard to remember when tempers flair. As I absorbed the coolness and the energy from the earth, I listened for the heart beat of the Earth Mother. This time of year as the veil grows thinner, it is almost as if I can hear my grandmother in my ear. “You have to move like the trees in the breeze. You have to move like water…let things flow around you and through you….as long as there is movement, it will filter out the negative.”
I stayed in the woods for a long long while this afternoon….hours. When I finally pulled myself off of the ground, my body was cold. I could feel it down to my bones. I think I realized today…I need to be in the woods more. I need not to hear the voice of society…I do that enough at work. I need to hear the wind, the leaves, the wisdom of the trees. After all, isn’t that where the witches of old sought council? Animals….trees….spirits. I need to stop being bound by the devils that society has welcomed in and entertained. I need to remember how to fly.