Frazzled Witches

Today’s world is what I have come to call a 24/7 society. I remember as a child that most businesses closed by 6pm in the evening and only some were open on Saturday until 6pm or 7pm and nothing was open on Sunday. Then again, that was small town life in the Bible belt. It just seemed easier then to get some solitude.

If you look at the lives of the ancients, most of them lived away from the towns, either close to or in the woods and forests. I look at them now and I think of how smart they were—even though at that time it was done for survival reasons. Unfortunately, as witches today, most of us are thrown right into the midst of day to day jobs away from home. We are nurses, veterinary assistants, domestic engineers, factory workers, teachers….you name it, the list goes on.

I have found that I can compare my life to those of the ancients in certain ways. They worked from sun-up to sundown–whether in the fields or at jobs in the town they travelled to. They dealt with the constant stress of survival. Oh, so we don’t deal with that, huh? Looked at your checkbook in the last 24 hours? Wondered where money was going to come from for the power bill? Wondered just how few groceries you can get by on this week? And of course, how certain is that job that seems to be stressing you out? Survival.

The ancient witches and wisemen had to do their rituals in secret to avoid persecution. Some of us live our lives with a “Fuck it” mentality. “If they don’t like what I am doing, they don’t have to watch.” I tend to fall in that category. But there are still those of us who are in the broom closet. Everything comes in its own time. So there is still that “What if someone finds out I am a witch” thought that lingers over some. Again, stress.

We, as witches and energy workers, have got to take time today to recharge. Remember here, I have five fingers pointing back at myself. I have heard for years and years that you become like those people you spend the most time with. Think about that for a moment. If we spend more time just hanging out with our gods and goddesses—–who do we become like??

I find that in my frazzled times, it is important for me to call on the elements….but most importantly the element that I most identify with. When I need to recharge, I am most likely going to build a small fire in my cauldron (no matter how hot it is) and I will lie in the dirt close by it and just let goddess do whatever she needs to at that time. As a matter of fact, I will often speak out, “My dear lovely Lady, I am empty right now. I have nothing left of myself inside of me. Do what you will and what you need to do.” I will hold my wand close to my heart….the tip is aqua aura ( I understand that this stone is to bring out your inner beauty). I absorb the energy of the fire, the earth, the air, and I will also keep water with me to constantly drink as to bring that element into me.

On Lammas, which was also my birthday, I did a very heavy-duty ritual. I had been going through a very rough time myself and was just finally back to normal, so I decided to give back. I spent my time in circle, did my drawing down of the moon, did energy work for those that I knew were in need, and did my weather witching. I danced in celebration of the harvest. Just as I was about to close circle, I distinctly heard the voice of the goddess say to me, “This is just as good a time as any to go ahead and soak up a little extra energy.” I poured myself out onto the ground and I could feel her using the power of the moon to fill in the cracks and crevices that were left over from an exhausting week. I felt like I was positively glowing when I finished. Goddess gave me another gift that night. She gave me the first blossom on my moonflower plant. It glowed gloriously in the moonlight.

I went to bed that night revived. As I slept, I dreamed wonderful dreams. I dreamed that my partner and I were walking hand in hand in a cave where the walls were all aqua aura crystals. The floor was amethyst. We walked and smiled at each other as our fur-babies walked quietly in a circle around us. This was an important dream of healing. You see, he and I had some really rough times over the past couple of weeks. There were times that we wondered if we were still supposed to be together.

I had another dream that night. I dreamed about a wonderful friend of mine. I know that, he too, had been a bit frazzled. In that dream, I saw him as plain as day sitting in a creek-bed. He was doing magick. He had a beautiful blue stone with him. I felt the need to ask him the next morning if he had an affinity to any particular stone. He did mention aquamarine and amethyst, but later I got a text that told me that he had received a piece of pale blue celestite in the mail. He went to the creek to work some magick. It was a time of renewal for him.

I know when we don’t feel like ourselves, that those are the times we don’t really want to do anything. Those are the times that it is most important to spend time with the Lord and Lady. Those are the times the most can be done with you because you are empty, tired, undone. Those are the times that Magick truly can happen in the most wonderful ways!
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A Child of Lughnasadh–Harvesting the Seeds I Have Sown

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I was born on August 1.  I am very much a fire sign as you have read before.  August 1 happens to be the celebration of the first harvest.  The Lughnasadh festival is said to have been begun by the Celtic Sun God Lugh as a funeral feast and sporting competition in commemoration of his foster-mother, Tailtiu, who died of exhaustion after clearing the plains of Ireland for agriculture. This is the time for the harvest of the spring plantings and the harvest of the apples and grapes.  This is the beginning of the earth going into its winter sleep.  It is hard for many to see August as the beginning of Autumn, but  as Autumn begins, the Celtic Sun God enters his old age, but is not yet dead.

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I am very much a child of the harvest.  My birthday has always been a time of reflection for me—especially as I get……**gulp** older. Lughnasadh or Lammas has always been a “sow what you reap” time in my ritual.  Yes, I celebrate the coming of the abundance of what I have put out into the universe.  I think about the kindnesses that I have shown and been shown.  I think about all those great things that we like to envision ourselves as having done.  I also think about the things that could have been done better.  Have I given truth to those who have needed it?  Have I poured into those who were empty.  What types of seeds did I sow in my spring?

When I was in the pastorate of mainline churches, I was allowed to spend time with people in their final moments.  I watched as many began to spew forth the regrets that they had and hoped for some absolution before crossing over.  I also watched as some looked peacefully out into the universe and blissfully drifted into another area of existence.  I have always vowed that my life would have as few regrets as I could manage and that peace would be my escort into the summerlands…..therefore I use my birthday and Lammas to look back over the past year and then move forward toward the death of regrets. 

I look back at the springtime of the year and wonder to myself.  Have I planted seeds of joy, friendship, encouragement, healing?  What is it that I desire to harvest with the celebration of the first fruits?  I spent time slowly walking through the courtyard today looking at each plant deeply.  The wheel seems to be turning earlier than usual this year.  The plants began showing themselves in February instead of March or April.  The Magick I have poured into this courtyard this year……I have celebrated with friends….mourned the loss of loved ones….cried for healing for myself and others. The plants, the walls, the ground have all heard my deepest longings and happinesses and pains.  The fae who work that area know me intimately. The Sun God and the Moon Goddess know me by name.  I hear them whisper it often in the warm Summer breeze.

I know that soon the warm sweat that pours from my forehead as I work with the plants will soon be replaced by the clouds of chilled air that come from my mouth. As the Sun God and Moon Goddess prepare themselves for death, the remains of the legacy they leave behind are strongly evident.  It is that legacy that gives us hope for spring.  What legacy do I leave behind on a daily basis?  I look at myself in the mirror.  I am far from death, but then again we aren’t guarranteed anything.  What do I want to be remembered for?  I want to be known as a lover of people and animals.  I want to be known as a healer of spirits, hearts and minds.  I want to be a helper….a friend. 

I sit patiently in the courtyard watching for those seeds to sprout.  I feel the anticipation of the harvest.  Yes, I am impulsive.  Yes, I can be brash.  There is an old saying in the south, “I may not be where I want to be, but thank heavens, I ain’t where I once was.”  Each line on my face, each age spot on my hand represents a seed just waiting for the hope of sprouting and being harvested and used for its perfect purpose.  I stand ready.