Round About the Cauldron Go…

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Today has been a very busy day for me magickally.  I started the morning half asleep at my desk.  Nothing seemed to be waking me up.  I reached in my drawer to get a selection of stones and crystals that I keep in there, along with a small black candle and a small white candle.  I sat everything up and proceeded to call on goddess to restore my energy.  Now, I know that a lot of folks think that magick should be enveloped in ceremony and ritual….but I happen to believe that magick and the power of the gods and goddesses can be accessed at any time.  I don’t necessarily have to have on my best ceremonial robes.  That’s what I happen to love the most about witchcraft….I don’t have to be like you and you don’t have to be like me and we are neither one wrong.

As soon as I was feeling more myself, I settled in for work…which seemed like a full day of refereeing.  On my break, I checked in on Facebook to see where a friend had asked how many cauldrons we all had.  I stated that I have three.  I have a small copper cauldron for incense, a medium sized one that fits perfectly in the middle of my altar, and a large one…for when I have to haul out the big guns.  She asked if the largest one was the most powerful…not per se…but I answered that it is the one that I dance around and wail like a banshee when I really want to see results.

Another Facebook friend had requested healing energy for her own pet.  Having just dealt with an ailing fur-friend, I felt compelled to do some major magick on her pets behalf.  I pulled out my mini-altar and proceeded to do some energy work, but with the intent of doing some ‘heavy duty’ work when I got home.  I fidgeted at my desk the rest of the afternoon.  I was ready to throw myself with abandonment into the workings of magick.

2013-08-08 20.47.17I pulled into the parking lot of the condo complex at about 4:30pm.  I was so excited about working in the courtyard…I had been looking forward to it all day.  I went inside and gathered everything I would need to accomplish my goals.  I hauled the big cauldron out onto the patio because suddenly the courtyard was caught in the midst of a brand new downpour.  I poured some brandy into the cauldron, followed by different herbs, a little cat hair…and a whole lot of intent.  I struck a match and watched as the flames danced around the bowl of the cauldron.  I have been growing mandragora officinarum and decided that it would make a wonderful addition to the brew.  I like its protective properties as well as its warding abilities and its invincibility. I carefully dug the root out of the dirt, dusted away the soil and pulled one of the delicate little root hairs and added it to the pot before burying the root again.
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I called on the elements…the directions….Bast, Hekate, The Morrigan.  I laid out my intent before them.  I began to dance and sing around the cauldron.  A fast hard rain began to wash through the courtyard.  I could feel the steam as it hit the ground.  I was amazed at how clean and new everything looked with the rainwater dripping from it.  I am constantly amazed at how magick can give you a new perspective on things.  As I sat down in front of the cauldron, I was dripping with both a little rain and a lot of sweat.  I watched the fire smolder down into a wonderful aroma of dried herbs, brandy and smoke.  I leaned against the brick of the patio and basked in the abilities of the goddess to be able to use the intent that I had been conjuring all day.

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I got up and went inside and gathered three blackthorn sticks and my knife. I started carving and scraping and whittling into that wonderfully stubborn hard wood.  What will they become?  More wands?  An athame handle?  The possibilities are endless….it’s all in the intent.  There is so much that I want and need to do over the next few days….work with the blackthorn…that’s a given, work on my staff…it’s time to add some stones, organize my magick supplies and tools…am I really up for it?

I still feel it stirring inside of me…..there is something strong stirring.  I am giddy with anticipation.  I have yet begun to tap into the magick!

Blessed Be!

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As the Crow Flies…

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Two weeks ago today, I went to meet up with some new friends for brunch. As our time together ended, we looked around us because we heard the noisy caws of a crow. We scanned the skies and noticed that the crow was getting closer with each caw. Finally as we looked toward the eave of the house, there perched the crow on the eave above the door. One of my friends is familiar with my writings about Mama Crow. He said, “It looks like she followed you.” There was a part of me that wanted to believe that, but there was that tiny ounce of doubt too. I chatted with him later on and found out that the crow left after I did. I have read about crows being able to recognize people’s faces. My hope is that Mama Crow has become so much more than a guide….a presence of spirit….a representative of the Morrigan….but maybe also, a friend.

I have noticed that when challenges surface in my life, Mama Crow makes herself more evident. Last week when my car battery died, Mama Crow was on the post in the apartment complex making so much noise on my lunch, the day before. Whenever a challenge seems to await me, there is Mama Crow…carrying on like no other. It seems that there is one woman in the apartment complex who just seems to have it out for me. She tends to catch me just as I am about to get in my car to go back to work from walking the dogs….she wants to rant at me because my car is parked in front of my condo and she thinks she should park there because she wants the shade tree. I stand there rolling my eyes as Mama Crow bounces from branch to branch in a nearby tree, raising a ruckus.

The Morrigan has made her presence known so much more in my life lately. I realize that she is one of the dark aspects of the goddess and I do realize that I am at the croning part of my life…I shouldn’t be shocked that she is becoming more of a presence. My life, as of late, seems that it is in a constant state of change….I realize that the Morrigan is also a goddess of transformation and change. I embrace these changes….I allow them to be a part of me….it does not mean that I don’t kick and scream the whole way.

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Worry has always been a large part of my make-up. I get this from my Mama. My mama is one that worried if the phone didn’t ring exactly four times before being picked up….she worried if we sneezed once ( had to be the flu)….she worried if we ate a tiny bit less than we normally did. I didn’t get the worry gene that badly, but I am a worrier. I am one that thinks constantly about where I stand with my job. If any little thing seems off with my animals….I worry….I let my thoughts overtake me.

Last night, I went out with friends to celebrate my birthday, which always falls on Lammas. We started the evening with dinner, then went to a piano bar afterwards. I had several drinks and was feeling good, but not enough to be drunk. We got home at about 1:00am and I headed to the woods by myself. I laid down on the ground….I could feel the coolness of the dirt beneath me. I knew I needed grounding….so much happening as of late….so many things swirling around my head…things I won’t share in a blog, but things that those closest to me will know. I missed my little blue chihuahua laying on top of me and beside me….but he was sleeping too peacefully to rouse.

I have been feeling, as of late, that something major is happening magickally. There is an energy working its way through the atmosphere. Though my heart is at peace, my mind and my spirit have been racing. I have sensed something in each of the animals. Merlin has taken to sleeping under the new altar table I placed in the bedroom. Tamira wants to be touched constantly…even if it is nose to nose. Bella craves time under the moon….she walks my partner to death at night. Friz longs for magick…..as I write this, he is not feeling like himself. He has been trembling and his tail is tucked. I have been using Reiki and healing magick on him all night. But still, in the midst of this…I know something powerful is coming2013-08-03 00.34.29

I have been out tonight walking the perimeter of the condo….using the last of the waning moon’s energy. As I walked, I sprinkled stinging nettles…uttering spells to banish negative energies…to banish negative people from stepping foot near my sanctuary…banishing sickness, hurt, confusion, fear……casting away all things that might hinder my household from thriving, from prospering….calling out the names of my friends who I know have had a rough time of it lately….banishing those things from their lives that have interfered with them living the most abundant and productive lives.

As I walked, I could feel Lady Luna looking down at me, nodding her head in agreement as I borrowed and shared her energy. As I walked toward the place where two paths joined next to the condo, I could sense the breath of the hounds of Hekate…..them sensing the nervousness and fear and worry I have over my own dog. I could feel their strength, their passion….my worry took a back seat as I reached out to see if I could feel their coats. The breeze greeted me and sent the energy they gave forward. Finally, I could sense the Morrigan….always accompanying me through the battles of day to day life. I hold the utmost respect for her, knowing that she holds the very balance of life and death in her hands. I could feel the winds shifting….I could feel my spirit shifting….I could feel my mind shifting. The time for fear and worry is past….it is time for action. We as witches have to move past circumstance….for we will be tested every moment. We as witches must live by spirit and magick.

It is a hard thing for me to see past myself most days….but I constantly get lessons from the gods and goddesses. The spirit knows what the mind and body need. Tonight, as I told a dear, dear friend about Frisbee….she told me that he has absorbed and absorbed so much lately. She reminded me about what I felt about something happening magickally with the regards to the animals. She happened to mention that maybe Friz needed grounding. An hour or so after our texting, I took Friz out for his final walk of the night. After we had walked for a few minutes and he had peed, he lay down in the dirt. I remembered what Maluna had told me, so I sat down beside him. I rubbed him as he absorbed the power from Mother Earth herself. Then I brought him in, kissed him on his head, placed my amethyst on the kennel, lit the healing candle I have….and I sat down at the desk to finish writing. He needed grounding. His spirit knew better than I did….better than he did.

Now, he sleeps…just as I will. I will dream of the things to come. The changes….the struggles…the triumphs. That is the way of the spirit.2013-08-03 16.25.56

Blessed Be

Haters Gonna Hate…

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A few years ago, I worked for a dreadful person. She had a way of making you feel as if you could accomplish nothing on your own and that anything tried without her assistance would fail. When I left that position, I remember feeling as if every part of my ego…my self-confidence had been crushed. I doubted everything I did and I questioned every word I spoke. She had a way of making you feel that she could crush you at any moment and leave you lying in the rubble of what you considered your life.

I am a pretty strong person. I have endured a lot….so for anyone to make me feel that way was unusual. I look back and still can’t believe I allowed anyone to have that kind of power over me. After all….I am that male witch who pretty much says what he thinks….does what he wants…and to hell with the rest. Then again, sometimes our foundations get shaken a bit. Sometimes those things that are comfortable to us get taken away and we are forced to stand only on our beliefs.

A couple of weeks ago…on a trip to Walmart, mind you…I was shaken once again. This time, it did not bring self doubt and questioning. This time, it brought about determination. I was leaving the store, and as I walked to my car, I was confronted by a man with a bible in the crook of his arm. He calmly asked me if Jesus was my Lord and Savior and if I died tomorrow, where would I be. I calmly thanked him for his concern for my place in the afterlife and told him that I was fine and proceeded to walk on to my car. He then rushed in front of me, raised his voice a bit and asked if I was prepared for what life without Jesus would bring. Again, I thanked him for his concern, told him I was fine, and proceeded to walk. Once more he pushed himself in front of me and raised his voice even more and yelled his question to me. “Are you prepared for the day that Jesus returns?” I finally was so frustrated….after all, I was just trying to get home before the ice cream melted. I stopped dead in my tracks and said, “I am a witch.” I did not raise my voice…my face was dead-pan. This man proceeds to get in my face and screams at me like a Banshee. My personal space was being invaded over and over again. He was screaming so loudly and being so confrontational that the Walmart security came out and interceded.

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Now, being a gay man, I am used to protests and arguments. I have walked through Gay Pride Celebrations surrounded by picketers. I have listened to the screams of “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” I have even endured the “God Hates Fags” rants. I have even been beaten up for who I am…..but this time I stood there. I was not moving. I was ready for whatever was going to come at me…and quite frankly, I was ready to give back. I felt the power of the Lord and Lady stirring inside of me. Honestly, I was not angry…..I don’t know what the emotion was that was cycloning inside of me. A mixture of confusion and sadness and hurt maybe…..my roommate told me later that I never should have told him I was a witch. I told him that I may as well go back in the closet then…..I may as well try to live life as a straight, church-going nobody.

I told him that the moment I begin to compromise any part of who I am, I may as well crawl under a rock and die. Being a witch is so much of my makeup….just as much as being gay. If I were to try to compromise on either, then I am nothing more than a shell of a man. Cernunnos, Pan, Hekate, the Morrigan are all a part of me….they help to create that person of adventure and obstinence and love and power that I am. They are the creators of destiny within me. They are the dream-givers in my life. The Morrigan is the reason I have any fight and warrior spirit at all in me. Pan and Hekate nurture in me that taste for the wild and my love for the beasts of the earth. Cernunnos pulls out the love of the forest and the hidden places. Without each of them, I am but a lump.

Who I am is as much alive as the elements…..It is Fire that stirs my passion….Water that soothes and offers healing…..Air that calls to spirit…..and Earth that strengthens and grounds me. If I were to compromise my relationship with them….if I were to call to one more than the other….there would be no balance inside of me. Asking me not to be gay or not to be a witch would be like asking a wolf not to be a wolf and a crow not to be a crow…..it defies their very essence…their very spirit and brings confusion to the universe.

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I was told many years ago by a Lakota medicine man that the worst thing that I could ever do was to pretend to be something I wasn’t. “To lie to yourself confuses the spirit within.” He explained this to me using a piece of frybread. He held the frybread in his hand and he tore pieces off. He explained that each tear represented a lie that I told myself. When he finished tearing, there were nothing but pieces and crumbs left…..no matter what he did, he could not piece them back together. He told me that inside me was something unique that only I could offer the world and those around me. I could not do that if my spirit lay in pieces in front of me. “Not all those that you meet on the Good Red Road will like what you hold inside of you….but that is not your concern…..live your life honestly before Wakan Tanka.”

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As I write this tonight….I sit here in tears. The Lord and Lady have used this to rekindle in me exactly who I am. My heart is leaping and under my feet, I can feel the heartbeat of the earth. I smell the breeze through the open window. No one….I mean no one can ever take my heart…my spirit…the essence of who I am away from me. I am stronger…mightier than what I even dream.

I am, along with those gods and goddesses who surround me, the creator of destiny….not just any destiny…..MY DESTINY!!

Blessed Be!

An Offering for Hekate

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This week has been hectic.  Not a bad week, just hectic.  It seems as though I “ran around like a chicken with my head cut off”….as some of my older kinfolk might have said.  Part of the issues I have faced this week were at work….seemed like everytime I turned around, there  were little fires that needed to be put out.  Another part of the issues surrounding me this week had to do with a friends pet. 

My friends dog of 14 years suddenly became ill.  His kidney levels in his bloodwork had gone through the roof. Having worked with animals for well over 10 years,  I realized when my friend told me this that it was not good.  The poor dog was throwing up, wouldn’t eat and was very lethargic.  I knew for a fact that my friend would not put this poor animal down, so I concentrated all my energy into making him feel as good as he could.  The vet suggested giving fluids every day, so I made arrangements to come by every evening to give fluids and help entice him to eat.

By the third day, I could feel my empathic abilities kicking in tremendously. It had not crossed my mind that they would work stronger with animals than with humans….but my bond with animals has always been quite a bit stronger.  I have a deeper connection with animal spirits and energies than I ever have with humans.  I know that sounds odd, but the animals were my friends and teachers growing up….not so much men and women.  I knew that I could trust the animals with every secret and every hurt. 

In the process of working with this dog, my body was growing tired and weak and I didn’t have much energy or appetite.  I had been spending excessive amounts of time outside lounging under the moon to try to replenish any energy I could get.  I found myself under the moon every night.  I conferred with a friend and she suggested that I go to the crossroads and talk to the Witch Queen Hekate.  I had already been mulling this over in my own brain…but of course, I needed the push.

Good luck finding a crossroad in a condo complex…..especially without scaring the neighbors half to death.  I already have one that refers to me as a Brujo and runs every time I come out (I am not entirely sad about that)….he happened to be skulking outside my courtyard during one of my rituals and got a glimpse of me with wand in hand and my cloak on and cauldron blazing.  I headed out as close to the woods as I could and happened across and area where some type of animal had made trails….looked like it could have been deer, but it could have also been some of the other wildlife scampering about.  I looked for an area where the trails crossed over each other and found it just inside the woods.  That was a magickal happening…..kept me hidden enough not to scare anyone….and what better than animal trails to be used as a crossroad in magick for another animal.

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I unpacked my backpack.  I brought out my cauldron and candles and had my wand at the ready.  I brought out the offerings to Hekate.  I had a muffin and a small amount of wine.  I also brought offerings to Hekate’s hounds as I was sure that they would play a vital part in this magick.  I brought out the dog treats and laid them on the ground beside the muffin.  I started the ritual by inviting in the directions and elements and then I called on Hekate.  As I called her name, I could sense the stirring of the elements around me.  I could smell the wildness of the woods…I could feel her presence. 

I explained the situation with my friends dog.  I could feel her walking around me listening patiently as I went through the details.  I remember finishing by saying that I understood that it was not my decision as to how long this dog was going to live, but that I did not want to see him suffer.  I received a distinct whisper in my ear, “The time is near….it won’t be long.  Guard yourself…you must be strong.”  I whispered my thank you into the breeze around me and prepared the offering.  I poured the wine into the ground and put the muffin and dog treats in the center of the circle.  I thanked the directions and elements and opened the circle.  I found a nearby tree and settled underneath for a quick nap.  I woke up to find black and white cat curled up on me.  I scratched his chin and told him I needed to get home.  I loaded my backpack and headed out toward my own unit.  I guess I forgot to pack my cloak away….the neighbor that calls me Brujo stood ten feet from me.  He didn’t stand there long.  Again, I here the word spring from his lips and he was off like a shot.  I just make sure I keep my protection spells armed up and the protective plants all around the condo.

I went back to my friend and told him that it would not be long before his beloved pet would bound into the Summerlands….he replied that he knew.  The only request I made is that he would not let the animal suffer.  He promised me.  Right now, the dog is holding steady…but we both know that it won’t be much longer.  We have to be as faithful to him as he has been to his owner over the years.

Hekate represents the three faces of life…youth, motherhood, and the years of wisdom and age.  She shows us daily each of these representations.  Wherever we are in those stages….she meets us.  Even walking us to the gateway of the Summerlands.  Most of us fear her for this reason.  We see her as representing finality….but she also represents beginnings….from each part of life to the next.  There is a reason you find her at the crossroads….each road takes a new and different path.  It is up to us to take the steps and help others find the right path for themselves.

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Blessed Be!

The Balance Between Light and Dark…

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Yesterday was the first day that I felt like I could breathe again. For the past two weeks, my chest has been heavy…my breathing labored by the layers of sickness that had enveloped me. What started as a flu became the constricting fingers of pneumonia wrapped tightly around my lungs. With steroids and antibiotics and a lot of rest….I have slowly plodded my way back into life.

Yesterday was so warm and sunny here. During my lunch hour I always walk the pups. I feel it is a good chance for them to stretch their legs and empty their bladders and it gives me a chance to walk away from the work-a-day world for a few moments. When I walked into the house, my nostrils flaired…an old familiar scent caressed my face. It was the smell of lilacs. My roommate had put one of those scent ports in with the very realistic smell of lilacs. As I walked back outside with one of the dogs at the end of the leash, I felt as though I had been french kissed by spring.

As the beginning of spring approaches, it is quite comforting to see the daylight stretch out to meet the twilight. It is like sitting really close to an old friend as the sun’s rays reach out to caress my cheek just a little longer than it did the day before. It was during this observation that I was hit with an epiphany. Everything in life has to have its balance. Without that balance, the world becomes off kilter in so many ways.

The ultimate example comes through much time spent with the dark goddesses. In studying the natures of the Morrigan and Hekate, in as much as they are the divine Creatrix, they are also the takers of life. Without death, life continues on and on and on. With a beginning must come an end. How do you think you would feel living the life you live now…over and over and over again with no end in sight. Do you think it might become monotanous?

I wish I could say that my life has been all sunshine and bubble gum, but it has not. For every high in my life, there has been at least one low. Do the lows discourage me? Sometimes, yes. I honestly have to say, though, that without those lows, I would not embrace and soar as strongly on those highs. If everything in my life went exactly as I planned it, then there would never be any need for hope, anticipation, excitement.

So this may be an odd question….Does my magick incorporate areas of light and dark? Yes, it does. Now before you get your feathers in a knot….remember that I do not prescribe to a primarily Wiccan belief system…my beliefs are mine and mine alone. I don’t ask permission or opinion on them. I am just sharing with you. As I said in my last post, I strongly believe that I don’t owe anything bad to anyone…they are their own worst enemies.

As far as magick goes, I have also said before, that it is all about the intent that goes with the working. If I feel anger when doing magick, it is going to show in the intent. If I feel sexual or passionate, same thing. Some of the most powerful magick I have ever done has been the result of “righteous anger.” Is anger bad? Is it a ‘dark’ emotion. No. It is all in the control you exhibit. If you have no control over yourself, then anything you do can take a bad turn.

I feel that certain areas of magick take a darker part of ourselves. I know that when I work with the spirits of my ancestors and others, I have to reach into a place that I don’t visit very often. Getting closer to the veil seems to be a darker place. Did I say evil? No. Did I say bad? No. Just darker. Just as a walk outside in the moonlight is darker than a walk outside in the sun. Darker. When I commune with my familiars, I go into a darker place….a misty, very different place full of movement.

I think that the world around us would teach us that dark can be wrong….but I learned a long time ago that dark only meant ‘devoid of light.’ Even then, darkness is not to be feared. It is to be respected. As I walked back from the garbage area tonight at the condo, I chose the darker path. I chose that path as an experiment for myself. I couldn’t see two feet in front of me, but I heard everything. Every little sound caressed my ears. Every little insect, every little rustle of the leaves….I listened. I asked the Morrigan and Hekate to show themselves to me in that darkness. They have never disappointed me. Was there fear? Only the quickness in my heart at the unfamiliarity of my surroundings. Was there excitement? Yes….knowing that all my senses were alive.

I have always known that inside of me was darkness and light. I have never really been afraid of it. It is what has made me who I am. I don’t blow rainbow bubbles out of my backside, but I don’t spew black vomit either. I have just simply learned to embrace all of myself. I accept the jovial, easy-going goof with the bad temper and the over zealous sexual appetite and I am ok with that.

Blessed Be!2012-12-16 09.29.56

Finding Your Way Through the Dark

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I told you all in my last post about the dream I had where I ventured into the woods with Wolf and Crow (actually several birds in one). In that dream, I found myself inside a cottage or hovel deep into the woods. There was a fire in the fireplace and anything I could imagine for potion making.

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I have found myself using this place as my “happy place,” so to speak, this week. I don’t know if it is because this place came to me in a dream, but it has been extremely easy to just close my eyes and visualize myself next to the fire. I also found myself, when stress came into play, closing my eyes briefly….only to find myself standing at the table putting the ingredients together for the most powerful concoctions. This week taught me a lot about visualization and intent.

I found that I could put myself in a place that relaxed me and comforted me…just by closing my eyes for a moment and thinking about the place I longed for….I know that for many people this sounds like a form of escapism. I say bull crap. Sometimes the most magickal thing we can do is mentally remove ourselves from a situation to keep from choking the living shit out of someone. I found, at work, that it actually helped to diffuse the situation. I did not react to a negative behavior and therefore the person pitching the hissy-fit calmed down.

I love the place that I live. I have worked very hard to make it comfortable and inviting. To build an open but enveloping cottage-style experience from the moment you walk through the door to the moment you leave covered in cat hair. It is very evident that a witch lives here. My smaller cauldron is in the middle of my buffet and it is flanked on the left by my huge cauldron. The buffet is loaded down with crystal points and stones and different magickal items that friends have sent me. My gryphon statue stands regally to the right side next to my carved candlesticks. My big gold framed mirror (which I got for a steal at Goodwill) hangs proudly over the buffet. I love that mirror. It depicts pastoral scenes with stags and doe all through. I love the tribute that it pays to The Horned One. The antique lamp reflected from below pays tribute to my ancestors. I enjoy the fact that my living room alone is a call to the “witchy-ness” that lives within me.

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It is, however, wonderful to have a place that calls to me most every night when I lie down. As I drift off to sleep, I do my meditation and breathing work. I visualize where I want my dreams to take me…as I fade into the world of dreams, I find myself walking down that quiet forest path. Again, I have two friends at my side….Wolf and Crow (who sometimes decides she wants to be an owl or hawk….I think based on my needs at the time). We walk slowly down a makeshift path….we look into the trees above and all around…then we see it….the little vine and grass covered dwelling next to a pond. I can hear the whispers of the ancients as I reach for the door handle. A familiar voice whispers coursely into my ear, “It’s time.” I recognize it immediately. It is the voice of Hekate. I walk toward the hearth…the fire is already burning. This time there is a mirror hanging in the corner next to a bouquet of drying lavender. I look into the mirror and am completely shocked…..I am older…substantially older. My long white beard lays softly against my robe. The laugh lines are deeper than they have ever been….and I know that they are laugh lines….these are lines brought on by joy and happy times. I have started the potion making. Wolf lies down by the fire and Crow perches on the chair. Looking at them relaxes me. Wolf has eyes like that little blue chihuhua back home…they are so inquisitive. I always end up relaxing by the fire with Wolf asleep with his head on my knee and Crow asleep next to or on my shoulder. I always wake up at home in my own bed.

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Just as it was turning dark this evening, I took that little blue chihuahua for a walk in the woods. The dreams I have been having are so vivid that I find myself searching for that little cottage. In the distance, I know I hear Mama Crow. I turned to my right to see if wolf was beside me. It made me think…..”You know, I love being a witch!” Because of the spiritual path I chose, I have access to all the elements. They talk to me and I talk to them. I get to commune with some of the most fantastical animal spirits and familiars that one could ever imagine. I get to go places through visualization and astral travel that many people never get to experience. Hell, I even get to shape-shift on occasion.

As it got darker, a humid deep fog drifted in through those woods. It was magickal watching the light and dark play through the mists at the same time. Friz stuck his nose straight up in the air to take a deep whiff of what was happening. You could almost hear the fae singing softly. It’s funny, I have been going into those woods for a few weeks now and my biggest fear was getting lost. Who would have ever known that I would find myself waiting right there.

Blessed Be!

The Music of the Night…

I have to admit to y’all. I do not like to be scared…or as we call it in the south, “skeered.” It tears my insides to shreds to think that anything would be out there to “git” me. I remember going to sleep as a child with my covers pulled all the way to my ears….guess those covers were magickal, because nothing ever got me.

I also remember sitting in horror as my grandma told me stories of the Booger Woods that were behind her house when my dad was growing up….stories of how a headless boar chased one of the neighbors all the way to edge of those woods. She would also tell me stories of “The Raven Mocker.” This was a Cherokee legend….a dead witch come back to prey on those that were ill or dying. The Raven Mocker will not come near a Medicine Man…or a Shaman. When I heard this, I told my grandma then and there that I wanted to be a Medicine Man. She laughed and told me that I didn’t have anything to be “skeered” of….I had plenty of medicine inside me…medicine so strong that I might not know what to do with it all. My grandma saw things in me that it took many years for me to see in myself.

I have always walked gingerly around anything that had to do with ‘spirits’ or ‘haints,’ as my mountain-born aunt would call them. I have always had a fascination/fear of them. Even as a child, I would dream about the spirit of those who had crossed over…sometimes letting my parents know that they had passed before they knew. In the dreams, though, I was never afraid of them. In my dreams, I have been approached by many different spirits to help them in their journey….most of the time it is one that is in trouble or ‘stuck.’ Lest you think I am constantly bombarded, let me just tell you that this only happens once in a blue moon. The last time was just after my grandma died, but I think that was to comfort me more than her.

This week, however, I have been dreaming non-stop….even to the point of having to watch daydreaming. Anytime my brain has been drawn from the focus of the present, I sense an urgency… a calling…a tweak in my own spirit. When I put my head on the pillow this week, my dreams have taken me directly into the woods. In this dream, I am in the woods surrounded by shadow people….but there is no fear in me. For some reason, I know these beings. I sense that they need me. In my dream, I transform into my chihuahua and then into a wolf. As I watch myself, it seems as though I am holding court amongst the shadow people. As the dream ends, I see them dissipate and as I walk out of the woods, I transform back to human. My partner says that I have talked up a storm in my sleep this week, and I always wake up with music that is tribal, yet Celtic, in my head. Since I haven’t felt threatened by the dream, I have just taken to pulling in protective energies ( just in case) and going on with business as usual.

Last night, I went walking…me and that little blue chihuahua. I don’ t know why, but lately I have been craving the night air. It seems as though my senses are keener at night and I am able to feel a new kind of energy. I have been sleeping later in the mornings and haven’t been to the pond since last weekend.

When we walk, that chihuahua doesn’t normally pull much. We normally walk side by side. Again, I had my headphones on listening to Omnia. I love how the melodies and beat speak to my soul. Apparently, I was mindlessly walking toward the place in the woods where I had gone by myself last weekend….the place that felt strange and forboding. As I walked, I could feel Friz pulling away. He really doesn’t like to explore new things as much as I do. I picked him up and carried him. He snuggled closer into my chest under my cloak (I gave into the fact a long long time ago that some of my neighbors probably think I am the village loon). I walk deeper and deeper into the woods. I look around for a spot where I can see Mama Moon the clearest. I settle in….I breathe in the mustiness of the woods…the smell of the decaying leaves. Friz pulls in closer. I remember the feeling I am experiencing….it was the same feeling I had on my first encounter with Lady Hekate. I closed my eyes and envisioned all my helper animals….my familiars, some would say…or power animals. Mama Crow, Wolf….I have Friz in my arms. One is missing. I turn around and look….I hear padding in the leaves…more of a tromping. Somebody is putting on weight…all the offerings I bring with me? It is black and white cat minus the harem. I settle in and close my eyes….strange for a kid who was essentially scared of the dark. I breathe in the mysticism around me. I can feel the magick. Funny, I have been dreaming of the circle of shadows only to end up in the midst of the Queen Witch. Omnia is singing “Wytches Brew.”

Thrice the brinded cat has mewed!
-Thrice and once the hedge-pig whined!
-Harpy cries: ” ’tis time! ’tis time!”

Round about the cauldron go,
in the poisoned entrails throw
Skin of toad and spike of bone,
sharpened on an eagle stone
Serpent’s egg and dancing dead,
effigy of beaten lead
Double double trouble you,
bubble in a witches’ brew

Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog
Lizard leg and fairy wing,
round about the cauldron sing
Double double trouble you,
bubble in a witches’ brew

Root of mandrake dug at night,
when the moon is full and bright
Slip of yew and twig of fern,
make the fire dance and burn
For our will it will be done,
when the hurlyburly’s done
Double double trouble you,
bubble in a witches’ brew

Double double toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble
Double double trouble you
Bubble in a witches’ brew

I welcome Maiden, Mother, and Crone into my circle. Again, she brings the power of the moon into our midst. I sing to her the needs of those I have been dreaming about. You can feel her sweeping about the woods. Encircling this sacred place. She has always embraced the Wild Man that has been a part of me. I can hear her cackle as the urge to move is upon me. She always stirs that Wild Man in the Woods part of my soul.

I finish up the ritual. I bow to the Queen of Witches and leave my offering. I walk out of the woods holding Friz and with a chubby little cat on my heels. He knows I have food. I give him his offering in thanks for his services. Friz starts to squirm at this point. He wants down. We walk slowly toward the condo…..although he was reluctant at first…he starts to bounce like a pup now, teasing my ankles and play-growling. He’s fierce, that one. LOL!

There may be more dreams in the future….there were none last night. I must be a willing vessel. My grandma was right….there is medicine there. I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface.

Blessed Be!

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