Transitioning Back Into the Magick Within Us

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Tonight is two nights after Samhain.  This year, Samhain brought in cold and howling winds and rain.  As I communed with my ancestors, I listened intently as the wind hammered against the side of the condo.  The trees whipped back and forth.  One could feel the cold prying its fingers in through the window sills.  It reminded me of an old quote from Mary Poppins,

Winds from the East…Mist coming in

Like something’s a brewing, about to begin

Can’t put my finger on what lies in store…

But I feel what’s to happen, all happened before!

In the new year that is coming upon us, it seems that my theme is to be slowing down.  I am one of those people who, if not careful, will allow myself to become a frenzy of work and home life and everything else in between.  Most of my life is lived at full tilt…just like most other people.  Ever have those weeks when magick can become an afterthought?

I love the quote at the start of the blog.  We let life on a daily basis push magick away from us.  We let circumstances and emotions push the magick all the way to the back of our minds.  Then when everything else seems exhausted, we think, “Oh yeah, I am a witch.”  Shall I raise my hands, wave them about and scream ‘Guilty’ at the top of my lungs?

Last week, I spent the majority of my time nursing a sprained ankle.  Last night, I ended up in the emergency room because when I drifted off to sleep, moments later I would awaken myself gasping for air.  I amaze myself sometimes.  I am the first to send healing, Reiki, or any other magick to anyone else…but I tend to lose my brain and any magickal abilities when it comes to myself.  Thinking back on it…if I had just stopped, calmed myself and done some Reiki and magick combined, I would have been fine.

Well, the diagnosis came back just as me and the doctor suspected.  I am fat.  I am sedentary.  I don’t exercise enough.  His solution?  Lose weight.  Exercise…walk.  Get outside more.  I laughed out loud.  My medically, scientific minded doctor was telling this nature-loving witch that he needs to be outside more.  He asked if I had a dog that I could take on long walks in the brisker fall air.  I told him I did and that we normally take short morning walks.  He asked my habits.  After reluctantly admitting that I am mostly a couch potato, my doctor looked at me, laughed out loud and said matter-of-factly, “You have become far to domesticated.”

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Domesticated?  I became a bit indignant.  I have always considered myself a bit of a wild man.  I am not like the ones in the earlier quote.  I am not domesticated.  After I pushed past my hurt feelings, I started thinking to myself…”When was the last time you ran through the woods or outside?  When is the last time you were able without gasping for air?  When is the last time you let a youthful sparkle shine from your eyes?  When was the last time that child-like wonder escaped from you with the sharp intake of breath that comes from seeing magick happen up close and personal?”

After arriving back home, I sat and thought about a game plan.  The doctor and I agreed that organic, healthy eating habits would be best.  Lean proteins, lots of green leafy veggies and plenty of fruits and nuts would help to get my body functioning more normally.  Exercise…such an ugly word.  Thankfully we are heading into the darker months of the year…this time of year is an energizer for me.  I function better in briskness and cool.  Mine and Friz’s walks are going to have to become longer….he will be more than happy.  He pulls constantly when we walk…as if he knows that I need to expend more energy…as if urging me to move more.

My dear friend Cindy posted a photo on her Facebook page.  This photo said, “November s the month of transformation.  It is time to prepare for the coming winter and a time to strengthen communication.”  My preparation is to be more brisk walks….music that inspires magick penetrating my headphones…a chihuahua for motivation…and healthy, delicious foods.  It is time for re-teaching.  It is time to listen to the heart of the Morrigan…there is a battle waging inside me now.  It is up to me.  I want to encourage that wild part of my spirit to surface…that heart of wolf who runs with the wind…that heart of crow who flies higher and higher.  2014-11-02 15.33.57

As the earth goes to sleep, it is my time to listen to my body, my heart and my spirit.  I sat in the woods this morning huddled in my cloak, Friz tucked underneath with my personal sized Book of Shadows in my hands (it is kind of like my ‘spells on the go’ book).  I am sitting there trying to write a spell to accomplish what I want accomplished.  Maybe it was writer’s block…maybe I was thinking too hard.  I decided to take a hint from my most magickal little blue dog.  I raised my head, nose to the wind.  I could smell the leaves around me….the cold tickled my nose.  It was exhilarating!

Leaves swirl around me with abandoned delight…

My breath hangs in front of me here in my sight.

As the earth darkens around me, seeds of growth sown

New beginnings, new disciplines, a new heart will be shown.

Magickal workings encompass me round…

I listen and act so that blessings abound.

My body and mind and my spirit align…

Victory, health and prosperity are mine.

By word and action and now by deed,

As I will, so mote it be.

As if on cue, I hear Mama Crow behind me.  I look up and there she sits, looking down at me.  She offers that guidance I seek.  She flies.   Reminding me that I need to always remember to do the same.  Friz and I head back home, we wrap ourselves in a blanket on the sofa and ‘rest our eyes.’

Later today I read my dear Maluna’s posting:

Man changes our clocks.  Animals and some of us listen to our bodies….never mind human reasoning…it is what it is….Moon up…leaves down…I look at the positive….more time to see and spend with the silver globe of light….Full moon this week….work for healings, positive change for some….with the swirl of the holidays upon us…the temptations of wondrous delicacies…it’s time to take charge of your body…your eating habits….. bundle up and get outside…walk, yoga, dance…clean house…(yes it burns calories)….incorporate fruits and veggies in your diet of comfort food…and yesssss we all want the hearty, heavy creamy stuff….just balance with nutrition also. Excellent few days to put this program into motion…many depend on you…be healthy, for yourself…and those who love you! Now….go dance under that glorious moon…she’ll always dance along with you! BB

 

So here we go!  Blessed Be!

 

 

 

 

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Leaving the Winter Behind

BLIZZARD WORCESTER

For some of my friends, this year has brought a rough winter.  They’ve been faced with, and buried by, tall snow drifts.  And this winter, I feel we have all been buried in some fashion…whether it be in snow or ice or emotions or pain.  This past year has been a year of death and endings; this winter has been exhausting.

I have watched those I care deeply about struggle and trudge uphill, only to be met with cold winds and pushed backward by other forces or energies.  So many have been confused and been made to stumble against the blizzards life has brought.  So many have taken to hiding from life itself; never wanting to leave the comfort of their own space….others have gone recklessly into the streets causing havoc in the midst of their own turmoil.

My partner just got back from visiting his family in South Dakota.  He said the wind was so cold (-40°), that it felt like it was biting to his very bones.  Ever felt that fear….that dread…that went to your very bones?  This winter has brought that for many.  I have heard so many complaining of sickness and depression/discouragement.

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This morning, early, I took to the woods with Friz.  It was a bitter cold….I was wrapped up in my cloak and had Friz in his hoodie (I think I need to invest in a chihuahua sized wool cloak for mornings like this).  I packed my small cauldron away with my other altar supplies in my backpack.  When we got to the woods, I unpacked and set up the altar.  I lit the charcoal pellet inside and sprinkled incense over it.  I lit the candles and placed the skulls.  I invited the elements and the directions.  I welcomed my familiar spirits wolf and crow.

I found the most incredible thing at my local metaphysical store here in Atlanta.  It is called flying paper.  You write your spell…wish….intent on the paper and set it on fire and it flies off.  I wrote in black ink, my intent onto the paper and the names of those who needed my magick.  I watched with childlike eyes as the papers drifted up above me and disintegrated….breathing my intent and magick into the universe.  I could feel a lightness in my own spirit as I looked in front of me and could see wolf and crow dancing and playing with each other.  Friz was tugging on my cloak and play growling.  This past full moon…..something happened…even though the cold of winter is still upon us, the warmth of spring can be felt and smelled.  It is, of course, a distant feeling and scent….but it is still there all the same.  This I feel in my bones.

I feel a hope and excitement stirring inside of myself.  As I sat in front of the cauldron, I pushed all of those feelings into giant balls of intent and moved them out to all of those I know are in deep need.  It is that same energy that surrounds the bulbs nestled in the earth…..that anticipation and promise that a beautiful blossom stands at the end of the wait.

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We have waited patiently through the winter…through the harsh and bitter cold.  It is now time to begin the work.  It is time to dig our way out. We come out of hibernation much like the bear…..gaunt and ravenous.  We have used up the magickal stores that we gathered and tucked away for the winter months.  It is now time to dig into those most magickal parts of our spirits.  It is time to nourish our spirits….come out of hiding and watch the magick unfold in front of us.

You can’t tell me that you haven’t felt it stirring.  You can’t deny that something has taken grip of your very spirit and sparked your thoughts and feelings…..something new….something powerful.  I feel it…..the animals feel it……the elements feel it…..the very earth beneath your feet feels it.  Her heart begins to beat with the beat of excitement.  A time of rebirth and newness is around the corner.  As I lay on the ground this morning in front of my cauldron, I placed my ear to the ground.  I could feel the heartbeat of the earth mother…..pregnant with more magick than we could ever fathom.

For some reason, most of us truly fear what the Lord and Lady have called us to.  We are afraid of the magick that we pursue so hard.  We run toward it and just as we see that it is right there in our grasp, we pull back……afraid that what we have so desired may actually happen.  We long to see our gifts and abilities work in full force, but at the same time, are so afraid of it that we dare not tap into what sits right in the palm of our hands.

Do not be afraid to travel a new path;

It may be the way to find what you’ve been looking for all along.

It is time to release all that has held you back through this rough and bitter winter.  Release…what a freeing word.  Release everything that ever held you back.  Don’t you deserve to live in the fullness of the Earth Mother’s heartbeat.  Release that anger….that bitterness…that lack of confidence.  We are walking…..no, running toward a new season.  Take off your shoes and run barefoot toward your destiny.

For Once in your Life, Do Not Live Your Life Afraid!

Experience the freedom of singing out loud and not caring if every note is perfect.  Even if you don’t have a stick’s worth of rhythm, dance to the drumbeat of the Earth around you.  Look at yourself and see the beauty that is you.  Let that inner lion roar….let that inner wolf howl at the moon. You are capable of things that no other person is capable of and you have a purpose.  Fear and self-doubt only stifle the magick.   The more your heartbeat lines up with the Earth Mother….the stronger that heartbeat will be.  This morning,  I sang along with a wolf and a crow.  I sang to a chihuahua.  I laughed with the wind and I danced along to the rhythm of the heartbeat of Mother Earth.  Today, my little blue chihuahua and I, walked in the woods alongside Brigid and Cernunnos.  Our intentions flew like fireflies dancing across a night sky.

My hope for you this year is that you don’t hold onto those things that bind you and your magick.  My hope for you is that you live a life of magick fueled by the heartbeat of the Earth around you…that you learn to sing with the winged ones and the four-leggeds…..that you learn to dance with the wind…..and that you can change the world around you with your intent and magick…..that more than anything, you learn to let go of all those things that don’t serve your spirit in the most powerful of ways.

Blessed Be!

Howling at the Moon…

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It seems that this week has been the week of secrets. At work, I have been told things that I am not to share with another living soul. Co-workers have corralled me and told me things that I am supposed to guard with my life. Our roommate has told me things this week that I am to take with me to my grave. Even my partner has started sentences this week with the phrase, “now don’t tell anyone.” I completely hate this. Anyone who truly knows me, knows that I cannot lie to save myself. Whenever I try to divert attention from a subject or even try a half-truth…..my face, my body language….everything about me gives me away. I turn blood red. I stammer and stutter. I fidget. So why have I suddenly become the keeper of secrets?!?

This week has also been a week of constant change. Little things inside of me. I shared a while back that I had a small tumor that showed up just to the left of my right pectoral muscle. I had it biopsied and it turned up to be a fatty lipoma. Well, not long afterward, a friend shared a bit of information that she had accessed months ago. She had heard that Agaricus Blazei (mushroom) was good for getting rid of tumors. I ordered some right then….didn’t question it. Well, the good news is that the fatty tumor has been shrinking more and more each week that I take this mushroom capsule. It is now barely noticeable.mushrooms_65DD849291544

This same friend introduced me to Hawthorn capsules to help get hypertension under control. Since starting this regimen, I am also pleased to announce that my blood pressure has been remarkably lower. I am almost to the point of being excited to see my doctor at my next checkup (well that and he is also amazingly hot).

My spirit has been in the midst of change too. I can only compare it to what a werewolf must feel during the transformation process. It hasn’t all felt warm and fuzzy….in fact, some of it has been quite painful. I have felt most of these changes down to my very core. These new feelings have made my mind, my stomach and my chest hurt.

It is almost as if I have become aware of myself. For the first time in my life, it doesn’t matter where I am….it is like watching a recorded program of my every move. I have had to listen over and over to every word I say. When I go to bed at night, my dreams replay the activities of the day, letting me hear and see myself over and over. I realized that I spent a majority of my day trying to be invisible….trying to keep from being acknowledged or recognized. I also realized that I spent a huge amount of my day being a peacekeeper or liason.

I had to stop and think, “Am I only an ear? Am I someone who lies low just so the circling vultures won’t see him among the dead? Am I slipping into indifference?” I listened to myself as my roommate asked me, “Is working out really worth it?” My answer: “What do you think?” Where is my head? I should have been screaming out, “Of course, it’s worth it! Can’t you see all the positive changes happening with your body? You feel better…your love handles are going away….you seem happier!”

I have often said it to others…..”Boy, get some gumption about yourself!” “No wonder you have become the keeper of secrets…..you’ve been keeping to yourself all week.” It is one thing to need time to yourself….it is something completely different to be absent when you are in a room full of people. It has been far too easy this week to keep my “witch” hidden….to leave him tied up somewhere in a corner.2013-01-02 22.49.41

Friz and I took to the woods this morning. Mama Crow has been noticeably quiet this week. I have made myself stop and listen….talking to the telephone pole in the distance, but no replies were heard. As we moved toward the woods, darkness still looming behind us, I heard a familiar sound. That raucous loud raspy voice was like music to my ears. I turned around and looked high. I could see her perched in the tree to my right. She was cawing non-stop….it sounded too much like a scolding for me not to stop. When she had finished her lecture we continued on to the woods.

I settled down under the biggest tree I could find. I unpacked my mini-altar…laid out the skulls and candles carefully. I did everything that has become second nature to me….trying to not be so mechanical. I settled down in front of the skulls and stared at them. I realized that I had become a victim of my own routine this week. I had been trying so hard at work not to make ripples, that I had just become complacent. I had been trying so hard at home to unplug that my flame was growing dim in the process. I was trying so hard to catch up on cleaning and cooking and crafting that I had forgotten to incorporate the magick that can be and is such a part of each activity. Walks with Friz had even become just that…..short trips out to pee and then back inside to ‘catch up.’ images

As I lay there on the leaf covered floor of the woods, I had again forgotten all about Friz. I had left him in his harness and the leash was attached to a low branch. Friz did the one thing he knows to do when he is alone or ignored. I heard one solitary sound……”Bowwooooooooooo.” It is such a pitiful soulful sound that when it comes out, you stop dead in your tracks. When you look at him, you get a look that says, “I really didn’t mean for that sound to come out.” It is a moving back into the primal part of who he is. I unhooked his harness from the leash and moved him closer into me. He was feeling frisky now. He danced around me doing his little play growl. When he finally stopped, he sneezed, blowing out one of the candles. I laughed and realized it was time to have a little fun with the ritual.2013-08-31 21.39.43

I crouched on my hands and knees and Friz did his play-bow in front of me. I responded in kind. We moved and play-growled and wiggled our bodies. It was nice to feel primal….even if it was the primal that a little blue chihuahua feels. We both collapsed onto the leaves…me, breathing hard and Friz panting. We could both feel the sunrise between the trees covering us. I rolled onto my back and Friz crawled onto my stomach (he likes the bounce he feels when he’s on it). I could hear Mama Crow just outside of the woods….but I could also feel her getting closer.

The secrets for the week, I whispered to Mama Crow. She can take them as far away as she pleases….no more hiding in the shadows for me. When I do find myself sitting isolated, you may just hear one lone, solitary “Bowwooooooooo.”

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Blessed Be!