Be the Witch You Are

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Sitting outside, minding my own business, playing with my phone and eating my lunch while overhearing a small group of inconsiderate Buckhead Bettys talking smack about everything from their husbands to the maids and everyone in between. When a bird flew by and crapped in one of their salads. You should have seen the look on her face and heard the shriek she let out when she bit into a spoonful of bird crap.

This is from the Facebook post of a friend of mine.  We have all been fed crap at some point in our lives.  We have been told that we aren’t doing something correctly or that something we believe isn’t the truth or that we are wrong for being who we are.503155

In looking back, in so many ways, I was a chameleon.  I was always changing to blend into my surroundings.  I think back to my high school years…I was neither jock nor redneck or geek or popular.  I blended with all of those crowds.  It was easy to fade into the background, never having enough voice to speak to who I really was.

As I aged, I became more confident in who was inside my skin.  It became easier to say the “G” word.  I was confident enough to walk down the street holding hands with my partner.  Charlotte, North Carolina was not quite as confident in my ‘gayness’ as I was.  I remember being beaten up a few times just for standing strong and believing in who I am.  I couldn’t understand why other people should be allowed to show the love they had for their significant other in public places, but I couldn’t.

More years added more callouses.  I came out of another closet…the broom closet.  Once more the chorus of background voices started singing the “you need to…you ought to…you’ve got to…” serenade.  People can’t seem to understand that others have to walk their own path.  We feel the need to push them bound and gagged down the path we think they should follow.

Social media has become a great source of access to those practicing the Craft, but with the many groups, it can also be a great source of judgement for those who may be new and walking with a bit of uncertainty.  Don’t get me wrong, there are groups out there that are honestly interested in the growth of those new to the Craft.  It is when I see others take a holier than thou attitude when it comes to aiding someone in their journey that starts that slow burn in me.  I also have no time for those who will question or ridicule a path that someone walks because it doesn’t mirror their own.1375283_10152309486609007_5108159257972466424_n

Our lives are an evolution.  We are constantly growing…branching into many different directions.  We have to allow others to walk, to fall…but we have to be willing to pick them up.  We have to be willing to change.  The world around us shows us that change is the only constant in our lives.

This morning, when Friz and I made our way to the woods, I could smell change in the air.  Even though it was still warm-ish out, there was a crispness in the air.  I carried Friz most of the way this morning.  It had been a week since we had seen each other (I was away on business in Florida).  I honestly have to say that as we rounded the corner to the column where the Green Wizard normally shows himself, I felt a bit disheartened when I didn’t see him.  I walked toward the woods with Friz cradled in the crook of my arm.  We got to our little clearing and I started unpacking…candles, bones, magickal what nots…and breakfast.  Just as I settled in, I heard a rustling that startled me.  I turned quickly and let out a short yelp as the Green Wizard rushed toward me.  Friz was all excited.  I think I peed a little just from the surprise.

He fell onto the leaves laughing and I did a mock scowl.  He chuckles out an apology.  I can’t be mad….after all, I was so disappointed when I didn’t see him…and it was so good seeing the twinkle in his eyes coming back.  We talked about everything and nothing all at once.  He asked about the trip to Florida and I questioned him about his journeys for the week.  We talked about the approaching change in seasons and Mabon.  We talk about things to come.  The Green Wizard’s mood becomes more somber, “You know you are the only person who doesn’t look at me and see a homeless bum.  You have taken the time to get to know me.  You understand who I am.  You have taken time to understand my hopes and my dreams…to know that there is more to me than ragged clothes and a wandering path.”

I explained to him that to some degree, we are all wandering.  We are all ragged and dirty from all that life throws at us and throws us into…but we continue the journey.  We find who we are buried in those moments when no one else is looking at us…when we fade into the background.  It is in the silence that we learn to hear and recognize our own voices.

I read a piece written and shared on Facebook by a dear friend of mine, Cindy Maluna,

Mabon…September 22. The second of the three major harvests, and also the autumn equinox. The balance between light and dark. Southern hemisphere….Ostara…spring equinox. The days grow shorter, darker from here on out. Things die, or will become dormant…a necessity. This marks the descent of the Sun God….he will return at Yule. Just a short time actually…and the coming months are full of activities to keep us busy. We’ve enjoyed the veggies…will savor the fruits…and survive the winter. We will. We’ll order bulbs…plan our gardens….tend our houses. You can’t change the cycles…one balances the other…death. Rebirth. You have to look at it with practicality, with realism. Our bodies change, we grow old, we die. Those who give birth….our legacy…goes on. Those who don’t have children….you leave your mark on this world…your thoughts, deeds, yes…you are still part of the great thread of life. We’re entering the Crone stage….and believe me…it’s an awesome time…can’t have children anymore? Give birth to yourself….create this special time of YOU. I move slower, ache more, take longer to do things….but I enjoy what I do, what I create….I savor it. I love it. You have so much to contribute to this world…until the day you die…you have opportunities right in front of you. Don’t miss out by looking back… what you were…..create what you will be. Harvest, eat it up…and enjoy. You are on this Earth….make it count. Become a legacy….welcome Mabon. BB2014-09-20 18.38.13

 

I explained that it was through Magick, through our own legacy of the Craft, I came to know and to understand him and him, me.  I walked him through my own daily journeys….learning every day to be a more genuine, effective me.  Those closest to me see my failures…they watch me fall.  More important than anything in the world, though, is the fact that they see me pick myself up, brush off the dirt and keep on moving.  I have only one desire and that is to be the best I can personally be.  I fully intend to be the witch I am.

Blessed Be!

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The Energies Around Us

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My partner and I took a long weekend trip to Savannah last weekend.  It was a wonderful trip…we were able to spend time together, get to know each other all over again.  It was a wonderful time.  So many old sights and old beautiful buildings…it truly is one of the oldest cities in the south.

One thing that I have found as I have visited many areas in North and South America, is that with old cities comes energies…lots of energies.  Years ago, when I visited Ecuador, as we traveled the mountain villages of the Quituan people, the ancient energies permeated the atmosphere around us.  It was the same as we walked the lands of the Lakota on the Standing Rock Reservation in South Dakota.

I had always heard that you couldn’t walk two feet in Savannah without walking over a dead body.  After visiting the city, I can believe it.  There is energy coming from the Native American spirits buried beneath the city.  There is energy coming from the settlers and those who died from yellow fever who are buried in mass graves throughout the city.  There is pirate energy left by those who ran rum and shanghaied sailors….and there is energy left inside the houses of the long-dead rich who showcased their fortunes through these grand homes.2014-08-30 10.58.17

To be honest, as wonderful as our trip was, I was surrounded by what felt like constant static electricity all weekend long.  We would come back to the room at night and we both would completely sack out.  I realized later that this came from the constant buzzing of spirit energy around me.

On Sunday night, we took a tour of the Sorrell-Weed house…equipped with EMF detectors, recorders and cameras.  I listened as people tried to provoke spirits.  We were warned not to get left behind.  Of course, we are all in the basement and I walk around a corner, only to be warned from a distance that it is the corner of the basement with the most activity.  I turn around only moments later to find that I have been left alone in the basement.  I ran to the courtyard to join the group and am standing over an area of bricks to be told that where I am standing is where the lady of the house plummeted to her death.  I moved quickly.

I realize that we are around spirit energy every day of our lives, but this was so much concentrated energy.  This was old energy…energy that has had centuries to build.  I also realize that we need to ground and cleanse after that much exposure to that much energy.  I dealt with this energy most of my week last week.  Every day that I worked, I faced the harsh, unresolved energy that most often raises its head in anger.  This anger came through the tongues of my customers.  By the end of the week, I was exhausted.  I was not going to have time to myself until after I got back from my partners Friday night bowling league.2014-09-05 14.08.57

When we got home, I made a run for the woods.  If I could have crawled inside of one of the trees, I would have.  I needed to feel grass.  I needed to feel dirt.  I needed the feel of tree bark against me.  I needed the calmness of the elements.  I nestled myself against a large oak tree.  I closed my eyes and called to the elements to pour over me…to cleanse me of any residual energy that may have come with me from the trip.  I dozed off against that mighty oak, comforted by the heart of the tree and the earth beneath me.  I was awakened by the scream of the cicadas swarming around in the night air, but still so masterfully hidden.  I stumbled back to the condo…rejuvenated but still tired.  I crawled into bed and dreamed of witchy things.  It is funny….I think sometimes that I am the only witch who seems to have Harry Potter-like dreams.  I soar on broomsticks and watch as magick flows from my wand.

I woke up before dawn this morning.  Friz missed our weekend ritual as much as I did.  He spent last weekend boarding.  He had to trade his walk through the trees and grass and leaves for a cement floor and sleeping in a room with his sister.  He was ready for lap time with his Pop and morning woods time.  We made our way into the heart of the woods.  Even though the heat is still in the air, you can also smell the beginnings of autumn.  The wheel has begun its shift.  Leaves have started turning and falling.  This morning I took pumpkin scented candles with me and one called ‘smoke.’   As I lay there watching the flames lick the air, Friz curled up under my chin and drifted off quickly.  I could feel the heartbeat of the earth under me.  I listened as Mama Crow and Wolf joined us.  I took deep cleansing breaths….breathing in the freshness of the trees and leaves around me.

As I absorbed the calmness…I couldn’t help thinking about what I hold inside me.  I walk through each day with the power of magick.  Everything I touch, I impart magick to.  As I grow older…just as the Lord does this time of year, it seems that those beyond the veil become more approachable and not so hard to connect with.  As Mabon and then Samhain draw closer and the veil becomes even thinner,  I intend to spend more time among the trees absorbing their strength and calm…and when I lie down at night to sleep, I will continue to dream of flying.

Blessed Be.

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Mabon’s Entrance…Hearing the Whispers of the Wind

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This weekend has been wonderful!  Waking up to temperatures below 60 degrees…breezes dancing playfully through the leaves of the trees…watching the busy-ness of the squirrels, and hearing the crows lilting caws.  It amazes me…the way that the trees and greenery responds to the slightest change in atmosphere.  I have spent much time watching the leaves this weekend.  I have noticed that many are already beginning their color change.  They are shedding the strong green of summer for the vibrant oranges and reds and yellows of Fall.

When I got up yesterday morning, it was almost chilly outside.  I let the dogs do their quick morning potty and then I scooped Friz up inside my cloak with my backpack over my arm underneath it.  When I feel the beginnings of fall stirring, I am drawn more to the trees and flora and fauna of the woods.  We made our way to that all too familiar place and settled down among the leaves.  I set up my mini altar and laughed as I watched Friz dig himself out a nest.  Such a frenzy for a little squirt….leaves and dirt flying everywhere.  We got comfortable and I lit the candles. The soft breeze was calling to me from the tops of the trees.  I could hear it making its way downward to commune with me.  I love watching Friz when a breeze comes up….he lifts his head into it, opens his nostrils and inhales as much of the energy of the air as he can.  His eyes become dream-like and he is stock-still, if only for a minute.

I should have guessed that we would be visited by a little calico kitten.  I think she has fallen in love with Friz.  I have gotten used to hearing her scamper through the leaves in the woods….an energetic little critter…only to become ragdoll-like when picked up.  While we relax in the comfort of the woods, she comes up to me and says her ‘hello’s’…rubbing against my knees and hands and anything else she can get to and then going to Friz and lying down on top of him….I hear him snort at first and then he realizes that she is not going anywhere and I hear a ‘humph’ come out of him before he lies his head back down.

I close my own eyes and raise my head to the breeze, listening to the secrets that the wind can tell me…secrets that are so much older than I am…secrets as old as those ancients who have gone on before.  I feel that I have become so much more familiar with the elements around me.  It is almost as if my ancestor’s are showing themselves more through me.  I am learning to recognize an approaching storm by the feel of the breeze, I am learning to feel the heartbeat of the earth underneath me and learning how to listen to that heartbeat and access it in my own spirit.  I am becoming closer to the fur and feather people.  Their voices resonate inside of me more every day.  I am no longer who I was when I started my journey….no longer the child I was when I started walking the path.

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I am learning to recognize the voices in my own spirit…..see the changes that are happening in it.  Wolf and Crow are no longer just familiars….they are a part of me.  I am finding as I grow older that I care less and less about what people think of me and am more concerned with who I am becoming.  As long as I listen to the spirit inside of me and the heartbeat of the earth, then I will become all that I am supposed to be.  As long as I walk in integrity, honesty and love, then I am a reflection of the Lord and Lady.  I fail so miserably at times…but that is ok.  I am not going to beat myself up for my own frailties, just as I shouldn’t attack someone else for theirs.  Yes.  I follow the path of the Morrigan….but I also follow the path of many other gods and goddesses.  I am not just one ingredient in this recipe of life….I am the whole freaking cake.  The cake is just as much a part of the banquet as the main course.

As we finished our time yesterday, I thanked the elements and spirits and Lord and Lady for all that was imparted to me.  I feel honored to be trusted with the secrets that they have shared with those before me.  We walk out of the woods and pass by the condo that Beatrice (the calico) lives in.  Her mom is standing there beaming.  “She sure does love you and that little dog.”  “Well, we sure do love her too.”  Friz and I head to our place and lie down on the sofa and drift off to sleep quickly.

We wake up slowly and I look out the window at the large tree in front of the condo.  Even the demeanor of the trees and plants and grass is changing.  The trees, who seem to stand strong and sturdy with the summertime breezes, are now bending more and whispering among themselves more with the Autumn winds approaching.  Last night, we were invited by friends to have dinner out on their balcony.  As we settled into chairs, with wine in hand to toast our friendship, we each commented on the smell and crispness of the air.  We laughed as the breezes tousled the hair of each diner…..well, except me.  They all know that I am a witch and know that during our vacation next weekend that one of the Sabbats fall on Saturday.  They asked me to tell them a bit about it, so I told them what Mabon is and what it represents.2013-09-15 12.25.50

I explained that Mabon was the Autumn Equinox…the time of year when day and night are equal.  I told them that this was the time when the goddess went from mother to crone and explained her coming death and rebirth.  I talked to them about how my birthday, Lammas, was the first harvest and that Mabon was the second harvest and that this time of year was when the veil started to thin between the worlds.  I explained to them that the meal I would be preparing for the Mabon feast (a low country boil) would incorporate the gifts of the ocean (shellfish) and also the bounty of the harvest (onions, potatoes) and even the significance of the apple dumplings that we would have for dessert that night.  I told them of my time that I would be spending at the ocean in ritual and reflection.  I invited them to join me (as long as they were respectful and open to whatever may come).  As I looked around the table at each one sipping their wine, I saw dream-like smiles playing across their faces.  More than one asked if they could be a part of the celebration and ritual.  Last night, as I drifted off to sleep,  my brain was inundated with visions of the ocean….peaceful dreams that will carry me through this week.  I have goals that I have set for myself in this change of seasons.  I am excited to watch them unfold in front of me.

It excites me to know that I carry on the workings of those who lived centuries ago…those who held the Craft just as dear to themselves as I do.  Those who walked their own path….oblivious to what others thought of them, but always aware of the needs in front of them.  The things I hunger to see flow forth from me and even out of my fingertips, I can barely comprehend.

Blessed Be!

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