Pitching a Hissy-Fit When Things Don’t Go the Way We Planned

hissy-fit

I remember one thing I learned long ago in a little country town in North Carolina. It was a hard lesson that my grandma taught me. Temper tantrums accomplish absolutely nothing. For that matter, any type of “hissy-fit” as she called them accomplished zip…nada…not one damned thing.

I was six years old, and though I am sure that when I was younger I threw quite a few tantrums her way, but knowing her…she paid em no never-mind. I was told by a little boy in my first grade class that if I cried and screamed and kicked that I would get anything I wanted. He apparently didn’t know my grandma.

My grandma always babysat us after school and in the summer time. So we would go to her house (which was not laid out with all the most modern conveniences) and we would spend several hours or the whole day. She kept a huge garden in the back of acreage and would always haul us out there with her. We were too young to leave in the house and she would always hang blankets from the trees around and we would play under them. One particular day, we were going to pick up ‘taters as she dug them. I hated picking up taters. I will be honest. When I was young, I was a slug of a boy. I wanted to be in front of a fan watching tv. It wasn’t until a few years later that I learned to appreciate what nature had given us. It was on this day that I decided to try the wisdom of that other six year old boy in my class…so I sat down in the middle of the dirt and proceeded to “pitch a hissy-fit.” I wailed and I cried and I kicked and I stomped…just knowing that my grandma was going to crumble before my eyes and beg my forgiveness for expecting me to ever step away from in front of the tv.

In the middle of my hissy-fit, I hear something strange coming from my grandma. I stopped what I was doing and looked directly at her. She was laughing. Well, she was not just laughing….she was laughing at me. I stomped my foot at her and turned red. She stopped laughing. She cocked her left eyebrow, walked over to me, whomped me on the butt hard with her hand and told me, “Boy, if you ever do that again…you will see me pitch a hissy-fit, and I guarantee that you will not like it.” I never pitched another one.

Over the past month or so, I have had a few challenges rise up to meet me. I have dealt with the flu, pneumonia, and now another little issue. I had a biopsy done of a lump below my right pec on Friday. When this little lump showed up a few months back, I headed to the doctor and he stuck a needle in it and aspirated it and it looked like fat. When I went back for the pneumonia, the lump was firm and not moveable. He told me that he would feel better if we did a biopsy. I was ok with that.

When I first got the news that he wanted a biopsy, I was fine. Kinda numb actually….I mean I had an aunt die from cancer this past year, a grandma that was diagnosed with cancer on her kidneys right before she died, another aunt diagnosed with bone cancer…..hmmm seemed like cancer was running rampant through my family. Fear tried to kick in. Panic attacks started. I wrapped myself up so tightly in the fear of what could happen, that I pulled into myself and then proceeded to pitch my own little hissy-fit. I pissed and I moaned to the elements….to the Lord and Lady….to any of the natural elements that would listen. After all, I didn’t need to burden my friends, family and loved ones. I moved into my bitchy zone.

I really didn’t spend all that much time outside….I just kind of boarded up my own little pity house and moved in. I didn’t even realize that it had been a full week without any noise or sound from Mama Crow. A dear friend texted me one night after I had finally ‘come out’ with the news of the pending biopsy. “How are you?” “Fine….well, actually a little scared.” “You have to get control of yourself through this!” Huh?!? You mean she wasn’t going to join my ‘poor me’ party? All over again, I could hear my grandma telling me that if I didn’t stop it, that I was gonna see a hissy-fit like I had never seen….and I wouldn’t like it. It was just the smack I needed.

I walked out the next morning to take Friz to pee and I noticed that Mama Crow’s nest had been torn down from the telephone pole. In the complex, every so often, they try to keep the ‘scavenger’ animals out. So I am quite sure I know who took the nest down. Over the next few days, I noticed the silence in the air. No calls through the trees, no reminders of things to come. Silence. I was prepared to start the grieving process for a friend lost.

I came home from lunch on Wednesday of last week and heard a familiar sound. That harsh crackle of a voice ringing through the trees…I looked up and I see Mama Crow back on top of the phone pole. What is she doing? She is rebuilding her nest. I had to laugh. A setback did not eliminate her….it didn’t deter her….it only changed her path for a few days. 120401fi

My grandma was a lot like that old crow….and I should be too. When the wind changes, that crow doesn’t just stop flying. She just changes the position of her wings. She doesn’t piss and moan and curse the wind, she just makes the necessary changes in her….hmmm couldn’t we all learn a lesson here? I have purposed that no matter what the results of the biopsy are….I will not let my life be derailed. I will continue forward. Do I know where forward will take me? No. But I never did before either. I only need to continue moving.

Blessed Be!

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Frazzled Witches

Today’s world is what I have come to call a 24/7 society. I remember as a child that most businesses closed by 6pm in the evening and only some were open on Saturday until 6pm or 7pm and nothing was open on Sunday. Then again, that was small town life in the Bible belt. It just seemed easier then to get some solitude.

If you look at the lives of the ancients, most of them lived away from the towns, either close to or in the woods and forests. I look at them now and I think of how smart they were—even though at that time it was done for survival reasons. Unfortunately, as witches today, most of us are thrown right into the midst of day to day jobs away from home. We are nurses, veterinary assistants, domestic engineers, factory workers, teachers….you name it, the list goes on.

I have found that I can compare my life to those of the ancients in certain ways. They worked from sun-up to sundown–whether in the fields or at jobs in the town they travelled to. They dealt with the constant stress of survival. Oh, so we don’t deal with that, huh? Looked at your checkbook in the last 24 hours? Wondered where money was going to come from for the power bill? Wondered just how few groceries you can get by on this week? And of course, how certain is that job that seems to be stressing you out? Survival.

The ancient witches and wisemen had to do their rituals in secret to avoid persecution. Some of us live our lives with a “Fuck it” mentality. “If they don’t like what I am doing, they don’t have to watch.” I tend to fall in that category. But there are still those of us who are in the broom closet. Everything comes in its own time. So there is still that “What if someone finds out I am a witch” thought that lingers over some. Again, stress.

We, as witches and energy workers, have got to take time today to recharge. Remember here, I have five fingers pointing back at myself. I have heard for years and years that you become like those people you spend the most time with. Think about that for a moment. If we spend more time just hanging out with our gods and goddesses—–who do we become like??

I find that in my frazzled times, it is important for me to call on the elements….but most importantly the element that I most identify with. When I need to recharge, I am most likely going to build a small fire in my cauldron (no matter how hot it is) and I will lie in the dirt close by it and just let goddess do whatever she needs to at that time. As a matter of fact, I will often speak out, “My dear lovely Lady, I am empty right now. I have nothing left of myself inside of me. Do what you will and what you need to do.” I will hold my wand close to my heart….the tip is aqua aura ( I understand that this stone is to bring out your inner beauty). I absorb the energy of the fire, the earth, the air, and I will also keep water with me to constantly drink as to bring that element into me.

On Lammas, which was also my birthday, I did a very heavy-duty ritual. I had been going through a very rough time myself and was just finally back to normal, so I decided to give back. I spent my time in circle, did my drawing down of the moon, did energy work for those that I knew were in need, and did my weather witching. I danced in celebration of the harvest. Just as I was about to close circle, I distinctly heard the voice of the goddess say to me, “This is just as good a time as any to go ahead and soak up a little extra energy.” I poured myself out onto the ground and I could feel her using the power of the moon to fill in the cracks and crevices that were left over from an exhausting week. I felt like I was positively glowing when I finished. Goddess gave me another gift that night. She gave me the first blossom on my moonflower plant. It glowed gloriously in the moonlight.

I went to bed that night revived. As I slept, I dreamed wonderful dreams. I dreamed that my partner and I were walking hand in hand in a cave where the walls were all aqua aura crystals. The floor was amethyst. We walked and smiled at each other as our fur-babies walked quietly in a circle around us. This was an important dream of healing. You see, he and I had some really rough times over the past couple of weeks. There were times that we wondered if we were still supposed to be together.

I had another dream that night. I dreamed about a wonderful friend of mine. I know that, he too, had been a bit frazzled. In that dream, I saw him as plain as day sitting in a creek-bed. He was doing magick. He had a beautiful blue stone with him. I felt the need to ask him the next morning if he had an affinity to any particular stone. He did mention aquamarine and amethyst, but later I got a text that told me that he had received a piece of pale blue celestite in the mail. He went to the creek to work some magick. It was a time of renewal for him.

I know when we don’t feel like ourselves, that those are the times we don’t really want to do anything. Those are the times that it is most important to spend time with the Lord and Lady. Those are the times the most can be done with you because you are empty, tired, undone. Those are the times that Magick truly can happen in the most wonderful ways!
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I Love To Laugh….

Uncle Albert: There is a way. And frankly, I don’t like to think of it, because you have to think of something sad.
Mary Poppins: Then do get on with it, please.
Uncle Albert: Let me see… I have the very thing: Yesterday, when the lady next door answered the door, there was a man there, and the man said to the lady, “I’m terribly sorry, I just ran over your cat.”
[Jane and Michael descend from being up in the air]
Jane: Oh, that is sad.
Michael: The poor cat.
Uncle Albert: And the man said, “I’d like to replace your cat.” And the lady said, “That’s all right with me, but how are you with catching mice?”

Today, I have not felt like laughing.  To be honest….I haven’t really even felt like smiling.  I have felt like I could possibly be the biggest uber-bitch created today.  I don’t know if it is related to planetary alignment or if I am just feeling a bit whacked out, but this is the time that I just have to try to make myself laugh. 

On days like today, it takes something completely stupid to make me laugh. That is why I posted the joke above.  It is completely absurd, but it made me giggle.  It is a day like today that I need The Three Stooges or The Golden Girls……or yes….Designing Women! 

I am adept at making other people laugh.  It was a gift bestowed on me at birth.  I often visualize my birth being similar to Aurora’s birth in Sleeping Beauty.  Upon my arrival, the three good fairies showed up.  The first said, “I shall bestow upon him the gift of homosexuality.  Therefore he shall always live his life with impeccable style and flavor.”  The second cleared her throat and said, “I shall bestow upon him devilish good looks and fabulous pheromones.  Men will never be able to resist him.”   The evil Maleficent flew in with a blaze of fire and her voice dripped with hatred.  “Now it’s time for my gift.  I bestow upon him the body of Paula Deen.  Wherever he goes, his backside will shake like a pound of butter and his stomach will be larger than a KFC family bucket.”  Then the third waved her magic wand above me and said, “I shall bestow upon him a really wicked sense of humor.  He shall need it to conquer all of lifes trials.” 

I have found that anything is bearable with a snicker or two and just a pound or two of butter.  Always remember, the pain can always be eased up when you grease up with a pat of butter….hmmm that might not be exactly what I meant, but you probably just snorted.  Didn’t  you?

Well, tonight’s post was primarily for me….I needed a chuckle or two.  Hope you enjoyed it as well.  And as always.. here’s sending you good witches from my kitchen to yours!